Does anyone else think that once you're pregnant HC staff seem to think it's okay to manhandle you?

[SchrodingersMew]

Okay, so it might just be me and I might be being unreasonable.

Since I got pregnant I feel that Healthcare staff seem to think you are not bothered about personal space.

I went to have a 24 ECG tape removed today, went into the room the hca was a young guy probably my age. He asked me to lift my top up but before I even got to try he had grabbed it and was trying to pull it up!! I pushed his hands away and said "right wait a minute! I will get it myself." Also when he went to take the last sticky off he just shoved his hand up the rest of my top without even asking me if he could. I asked him if I could get it myself and he said that was fine.

I also have a maternity physio therapist who continually grabs my crotch and bum when showing me what muscles to tighten.

Am I the only person who thinks staff acting like this is a bit off? I wouldn't have a problem if they asked first but it's the fact that no one seems to think I will mind.

Sorry if this is worded badly.

I think you're right, actually. My midwife tried to undo my top for me once I said I was going to breastfeed. I had to bat her away. I wouldn't necessarily mind her helping but I quite clearly didn't need it. It's not open season just because I've had a baby.

Um I was always asked before anyone touched me but I did feel after a while (of showing stuff I had found in my knickers and having strangers up to their elbow in my fanjo) that I had lost all sense of personal space and dignity. but at least they asked

I would actually report the young man who after being told not to touch you under your shirt did it anyway. It sounds as though he was being inappropriate not just efficient iyswim

Michelle Not just me then? I thought I was going mad or was being over sensitive for a bit there. I guess maybe they are so used to it at times they forget to ask, but I probably wouldn't mind a bit if they did ask in the first place!

It's just a case of as Lola has said, all the in dignifying things you have done to you when pregnant it's nice to at least feel like you have some control over what personal space you have left.

some (not many) medics just seem to see you as an object that they work with, they speak to your face but then treat your body with all the personal attention of a scalpel.

i once had a consultant tell a trainee 'push as hard as you want on the patient, you won't hurt them'

well, YES, you did hurt me, but not damage me (there's a difference), and I am a person with a name, not 'the patient', and talking about me like that when I am having an internal examination is just rude.

unless it's an emergency situation, they should check with you first. yes, they may well need to touch you, but they don't need to forget that you are experiencing this.

Schrodinger Even if you were to tone your descriptions down a bit, it all still sounds unbelievable. Extraordinary. Wrong.

Just because you've got a hospital name badge on doesn't mean you touch people inside their clothing without their informed consent.

Yes I think it is just them forgetting that they should ask. I wasn't too offended by my midwife because she obviously thought it would be alright but I really do prefer to take off my own clothes! It sounds like the same thing with your physio but I'm not too sure about the male one you had. He just sounds rude.

There is something about a pregnant tummy that makes people think they can just have a feel. I lost count of the number of pokes to the bump I got from random people.

Yes it's quite simple. Pregnant or not, you can do all these things as long as you ask first and listen to the patient when they say it's not OK.

LineRunner It may sound like that but that is what has definitely been happening!

And I didn't say they were all like that well I did accidently but re-worded it, I have had some really nice professional ones.

Michelle Funny enough I haven't really had much of the bump poking by randoms, just twice, once by a friend and once by a girl I talk to occasionally that works in Tesco.

Something going on with me at the moment that I'm having to keep reminding myself if this was normal life would it be acceptable? I had a Dr do something to me contraindicated for my condition, I was in labour and not only did I say no and stop but so did the midwife and Doula. To some people it might be part of the experience but they had my explicit none consent and did something that has harmed me. It would be assault in real life and just because they have a title and a hospital badge doesn't mean they're exempt from real life rules.

Makes you feel like:
a number
part of a conveyer belt
a piece of meat.

I have never been so aware of being 'just another patient' as when I was pregnant, especially with DC2. And I work in HealthCare!

Did they warm their hands first

both sound unacceptable

im 28 weeks pg and havent experienced anything like that at all.

Confuddled, that definitely sounds like something to complain about if you definitely gave no consent!

Lord I agree, it does make you feel like a piece of meat and I can't remember it being like this before I got pregnant.

Maybe some maternity staff are just so used to peoples bodies they forget?

I'm just about to go to my ante-natal appointment and I am going to mention the guy yesterday who made me feel awkward.

I think what you are saying is true, and it probably is because you are pregnant.

Sadly, some HCP's see you as an incubator once you are pregnant, its baby they want to check, baby that needs to be looked after, baby that needs to be healthy. Bollocks to you - you're just there for the ride.

But - hopefully you wont experience this again, especially once baby is out and you are allowed to be a person again. Also, not all HCP's are like this obviously.

Oh I am, they're facing three Doulas complaining - my on the day Doula who was back up for my Doula who was on holiday and me! As Doulas we can't question a dr and they can't complain on my behalf but it does mean we know what we're talking about and not going to drop it easily!

KIlledBill Thank you for believing me, I told my Consultant today about it and she agreed it was an invasion of privacy and very off. She has told me to complain.

That is exactly how it feels. I am now just an incubator. :( Luckily the Consultant I had today was very, very nice and asked more about how I was feeling rather than just checking baby.

Confuddled I am glad you are complaining, especially as a Doula you will know what is right and what is definitely not! I hope everything goes well for you. :)