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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does anyone else think that once you're pregnant HC staff seem to think it's okay to manhandle you?

40 replies

SchrodingersMew · 21/06/2011 16:49

Okay, so it might just be me and I might be being unreasonable.

Since I got pregnant I feel that Healthcare staff seem to think you are not bothered about personal space.

I went to have a 24 ECG tape removed today, went into the room the hca was a young guy probably my age. He asked me to lift my top up but before I even got to try he had grabbed it and was trying to pull it up!! I pushed his hands away and said "right wait a minute! I will get it myself." Also when he went to take the last sticky off he just shoved his hand up the rest of my top without even asking me if he could. I asked him if I could get it myself and he said that was fine.

I also have a maternity physio therapist who continually grabs my crotch and bum when showing me what muscles to tighten.

Am I the only person who thinks staff acting like this is a bit off? I wouldn't have a problem if they asked first but it's the fact that no one seems to think I will mind.

Sorry if this is worded badly.

OP posts:
Fernier · 21/06/2011 16:50

yanbu unreasonable but no one has ever done anything like that to me must be a dodgy hospital!

Fernier · 21/06/2011 16:51

i over did the unreasonable :)

SchrodingersMew · 21/06/2011 16:52

I posted the other day about a MW shouting in my friends face... Maybe it is just my hospital as it's the same one. Confused

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 21/06/2011 16:52

You need to complain about these two members of staff

How unlucky for you to be manhandled by two entirely different professional people within such a short space of time

Catsu · 21/06/2011 16:53

My maternity physio manhandles me but that's her job! And i'm very grateful she does or I'd be in a lot more pain!!
Yanbu about the other dr though

AnyFucker · 21/06/2011 16:53

gosh, that is three then

awful

wearylawstudent · 21/06/2011 16:53

these 2 incidents sound awful, I'd complain if I were you

SchrodingersMew · 21/06/2011 16:54

I think the physio woman is just maybe a bit forgetful of how people might like to be touched (or not touched) as she is lovely in every other way. However the other guy was just a fair bit too forward and it did make me feel uncomfortable.

OP posts:
SchrodingersMew · 21/06/2011 16:56

Catsu I Understand that Physiotherapists need to touch you it's just the not being asked when she has her hand firmly attached to my crotch or when she decided to pull my trousers down for me that gets to me.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 21/06/2011 17:07

the physiotherapist pulled your trousers down for you ?

there is no way she should do that unless you are incapacitated in some way

xstitch · 21/06/2011 17:11

Shock You have been very unlucky with HCP. Or maybe I have just been lucky.

SchrodingersMew · 21/06/2011 17:11

Not completely down but enough to expose the top of my pubic region (Pants were also pulled).
I also thought that she shouldn't do that unless I couldn't do it myself and even then still ask!

All the Health care proffesionals I have seen so far don't seem to have any perception of personal boundaries. At first I put up with it but after having that guy today assume it was fine to pull my tshirt up for me, I am ready for snapping.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 21/06/2011 17:13

all the health care professionals ???

every single one, bar none?

OMG, this gets worse and worse !

have you contacted "Chat" magazine to sell your story?...I think you could do very well out of this

SchrodingersMew · 21/06/2011 17:17

Hmm Maybe I worded that wrong and it hasn't been all but it has been a fair amount of them.

Thanks for the sarcasm btw.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 21/06/2011 17:17

you are welcome to it

AnyFucker · 21/06/2011 17:18

Hmm right back atcha

give 'em enough rope....

TooScaredToLeave · 21/06/2011 17:19

As a healthcare professional, I think this is ot acceptable.
When I am with a patient, if I do any of these, I would always tell the person what I am doing and getting their agreement first for it. This is not on at all.

I do agree that sometimes you do need to 'touch' people in areas where you would normally not go when you are reating someone but it does not stop you from being aware of personal bundaries and ask for their accord first.
I feel that in the case of the lad, he was especially wrong at you had already made clear his behaviour was not on (Your comment should have been enough for him to realize he made you unconfortable).

I would say, have a word with the physio as I suppose you are going to see her again and explain how you feel and that you would like to be told/asked first.
If she doesn't stop, send a complain.

nickelbabe · 21/06/2011 17:20

AF - down girl.....
Wink

LineRunner · 21/06/2011 17:21

OP If there is a cultural problem about personal dignity at your hospital then please do report it.

I think AnyFucker's scepticism is based on the fact that your experience is extremely unusual, and at least one of the incidents you describe might well constitute an assault, and it's very odd that so many health care workers would behave in such a professionally and legally risky way in one setting.

What you describe is very, very wrong.

Does that make sense?

spookshowangel · 21/06/2011 17:22

i have never been manhandled, always been treated with respect and discretion. you know step behind the curtain to remove your top etc . but to be fair i am not all that bothered either a few babys and i am not all that bothered who see's what or goes where.

SchrodingersMew · 21/06/2011 17:22

I think with the physio I would much rather have a talk with her and not say a supervisor. She's a nice old woman, just makes me feel a bit uncomfortable at times. :o

I still don't think I will complain about the guy though, as awkward as it felt, I feel I am probably just over reacting.

TooScared Thanks for your reply, my Gran is a Auxilliary Nurse and she thinks they need a bit of training on boundaries but has basically said to me that's what it's like when you're pregnant.

OP posts:
nenevomito · 21/06/2011 17:24

I've never had such problems with HCPs. You've been very unlucky - I'd complain if I were you.

Pulling your pants down for you is bizarre behaviour.

nenevomito · 21/06/2011 17:25

That's what its like when you're pregnant.

Umm, no. Hmm

SchrodingersMew · 21/06/2011 17:25

LineRunner It does make sense, and I am speaking the complete truth!
It was never like this before I was pregnant, the same as Spookshow being told to change behind curtain etc.

I guess in explaining it, I have realised it sounds much worse than it seemed. I wouldn't have dreamt of saying I was assaulted or anything of the like, just that the staff in my hospital don't seem to know boundaries with space.

OP posts:
SchrodingersMew · 21/06/2011 17:26

BabyHeave As I said they weren't right down and I think it sounds far worse written down than it was. But it was enough to make me jump slightly.

OP posts: