AIBU to think that the mother of DD's friend is taking the piss?

[MmeLindor.]

She texted me at 3pm to ask if I could pick A up from school at 4pm as she was delayed. I replied that I would but have not heard back.

It is now 17:45 and she has neither called nor texted. I have texted to ask if she is going to be much longer.

This is the third time she has asked me to do this this month. She then returns home and does not call and let me know that she is home.

I am fuming.

she is cunning like a fox

next time ignore her text

I think you know what your answer should be next time she calls!

next time, just dont do it!

It sounds like you knew what you were letting yourself in for! I'd have an excuse ready for next time if I was you.

Would do that, but it was clear that she had made no other arrangements. WE didn't leave the school till 4.15 and her DD was still waiting to be picked up.

I answered her text at 4.10 as I didnt see it earlier.

Are you MmeLindt?

Yes, have met this type before. Take, take, take and do nothing in return. We had this with a neighbour's child. I saw the dad go home and i thought he would be over in a minute to collect his child, no half an hour went past before he collected. I was getting angrier by the minute and opened the door seething to myself, wasn't exactly friendly but he is not much of a talker anyway so don't think he noticed. Ended up having a fall out of sorts after they had taken me for granted on one too many an occasion.

Make sure you turn your phone off around about pick up time in the future.

Unless she (or a loved one) has been rushed to hospital then, yes, she is taking the piss.

She is taking the piss.

3rd time she has done it?

You are being taken for a mug.

Totally taking the piss. I would be FURIOUS.

But mostly I feel so sorry for the poor DD being left behind. Try to remember that you are doing A Very Good Thing by taking her home ....

INcidentally do you know why the mother is always late? Are they good reasons which deserve compassion and support or is she just a cunning fox??

It's not your problem if she has made no other arrangements. Presumably the school will not just turf her out on the street?

yes, am Lindt

She is not really a taker, just very disorganised.

She invites our DC round to swim in her pool almost every week.

Just annoys me when she assumes that I am always available.

Crikey.

You need to have words with her.

"You know I will always help you out in a genuine emergency, but once you know I have picked your daughter up I expect you to be in immediate contact with me about when you will be collecting her. I am not your childminding service. This is your first and last warning."

Round my way lots of these conversations happen! Sometimes arrangements get regularised so X will pick up Y's DC after school for an hour - that dreaded hour inbetween the end of a child's schoolday and the end of a mum's workday - but X gets a couple of quid for their trouble.

Am I missing something with the fox references?

Bound to be off with her fancy man

No one in school so if I hadn't taken her DD she would have had to go around to someone in the village she knows.

She has 6 DC and is always ferrying them around.

So next time ignore her texts and don't pick up the DC.

She will stop relying on you then.

Bloody hell, if you're going to have 6 DC then at least learn to look after them :(

I think we've all met takers like this. I have found that the only way out is to resist, and then you get one of 2 reactions:

• realisation they will have to play nice with you if they want stuff
• they drop you

Aha, the elder DD has just arrived to pick her sister up. Will have a word tomorrow.

The school empties and closes before all of the children have been collected ?

I can't imagine anyone so disorganised that they don't remember that they have to pick their child up from school. Watch out - if you suck it up this time, there will be more times AND it will get worse. I recently ended a friendship with someone who just took and took and took in this way. I let so much go on the grounds of disorganisation etc etc and it came back to bite me.

If you've got six kids, maybe having an extra one for a couple of hours just doesn't seem like such a big deal? She may be genuinely unaware that she's taking advantage.

might be worth speaking to her about it before the next time. Ask her what she does if you cant do it? Does she presume you are doing and panic if she doesnt here from you?