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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what you wish you had done (more of) before your dc arrived?

73 replies

TheKidsAreAllWrong · 20/06/2011 17:09

got about 6 months (all going well) and people keep telling me to "make the most of it" with a knowing you-have-no-idea-what's-about-to-hit-you-you-excited-fool expression...

so, i want to benefit from your regrets Wink

what would you do if you had the 6 months left again?

OP posts:
mummakaz · 20/06/2011 17:29

More nights out,
travelled to at least some of the world
Lay ins

dinkystinky · 20/06/2011 17:31

Spent some time living and working abroad

and enjoying a clutterfree existence

SingingSands · 20/06/2011 17:32

I wish I had done up more of the house beforehand. Things on my "to do" list now seem to take years instead of weeks!

faintpositive · 20/06/2011 17:33

really wish i had done it sooner. was 33 when i had my 1st. wish we had done it earlier.

we had done all the holidays, done up the house, had a lovely life for 7 years before ds came along, so we were very ready, but now at 40 & ttc, i SO wish i had done it sooner.

superjobeespecs · 20/06/2011 17:33

slept :) thats all i wish i'd done more of as ive been lucky to have perma babysitters nearby all the time thank god. if anything i do more since having DD but god help when DS arrives i'll never leave the house :( ah well there worth it Grin

JamieAgain · 20/06/2011 17:35

Do get your house as straight as you can.

Insomnia11 · 20/06/2011 17:36

Nothing. I made sure I had done all the 'no kids' things before we had them. I used to get quite bored on frequent nights out and just wish for my bed and a book. Now when I do get to go out I really enjoy it.

Obviously there are things I miss like having lazy weekends - but we often still have as lazy as it is possible to be with kids weekends, and we still have lie ins albeit individually! I don't miss shopping as I always hated shopping anyway. I get to have a cup of tea and my lunch in peace at work. I don't really like going to the cinema unless it's something I really want to see and it's deluxe one with big sofa seats and you can take wine in with you etc. We still do that about twice a year, which is the frequency we went before we had kids anyway.

WhereYouLeftIt · 20/06/2011 17:37

What FAB said.

Insomnia11 · 20/06/2011 17:38

I didn't think it was worth getting the house perfect beforehand as kids ruin decor and furniture and clutter up with toys and stuff...we'll wait until they're older to sort it out!

DoodledGirl · 20/06/2011 17:45

I think the main one for me is APPRECIATE THE FIGURE YOU HAVE!!!

BerylStreep · 20/06/2011 17:45

I'm glad we did lots of exotic far flung travel, and weekend breaks.
Also glad I got promoted at work to the level I am now at - I couldn't possibly do it now working part-time.

chirpchirp · 20/06/2011 17:45

Definitely miss being able to have a lie in with DH and going out for a meals (although that has more to do with us moving from city centre to suburbs).

Also the fact that you can't really do things "spur of the moment" anymore. It's all worth it though and would :)

KvetaBarry · 20/06/2011 17:46

sleep!

LadyWord · 20/06/2011 17:52

I did a lot of stuff before dc - travel, clubbing, shopping/browsing, late nights followed by sleeping in then going for brunch at 2.30pm. I'm glad I did but what I miss most is pottering and mooching around - like spending a whole day at the weekend just reading, lying around, cooking something nice on a whim, doing hobbies like sewing. Basically not doing much and being spontaneous.

Also do sleep as much as possible especially towards the end of pregnancy. Labour is exhausting and you will miss out on a lot of sleep in the first few weeks.

LaWeasel · 20/06/2011 18:02

Cinema!

Go buy Yes Man by Danny Wallace - it's the mostly true story of a really stupid and fantastic bet. I read it a week before my DD was born, and had a wonderful week not saying "oh that sounds great, but I can't really come right now..."

Alright I was 9mths pregnant, I didn't do anything that crazy, but I saw loads of friends and went out lots and it was great to start DDs life doing my best to do anything that was suggested instead of assuming it would be too difficult/not possible.

Journey · 20/06/2011 18:02

Enjoy the luxury of it being your first. Even if you work full-time you can come home in the evening and just relax, and have the whole weekend to recover. Sheer bliss. With any future pregnancies you'll have nursery pick-ups after work, you'll need to feed your children and get them bathed and off to bed. At the weekends they'll be no lie ins and you'll be running around looking after your other children whilst heavily pregnant.

The freedom to go and do what you want, when you want.

Appreciating no interruptions - those were the days!

Defiantely sleep.

Coming back from a day out and being able to relax straight away - I miss this! No children to have to feed/sort out/get to bed.

Journey · 20/06/2011 18:04

Oh the luxury of getting out of your car and all you have to bother about is your handbag. No car seats and pushchairs to deal with.

NoobyNoob · 20/06/2011 18:05

Concerts/festivals
Went out on the piss more
Eat out
Sex

FreudianSlipper · 20/06/2011 18:10

made sure i was in better shape physically

i didn't have ds until i was 35, so was very much over doing all the things that can easily be done before having children, but having him has not stopped us (ds and i) travelling just has to be better planned out

darleneoconnor · 20/06/2011 18:13

enjoy living somewhere that you really like but has really bad schools

Piccalilli2 · 20/06/2011 18:20

Travel. Have a really fab holiday if you can before you get too big and just lie on a beach/by a pool and read a book.

Sleep is also good but you can't bank it and you will be knackered whatever - although I do recommend resting as much as possible in the last couple of weeks because labour is really exhausting.

Be spontaneous and enjoy it. Spontaneity is not the friend of the new mother

Stangirl · 20/06/2011 18:22

Like several others on here I was lucky in that I think I did a lot of everything I wanted to before I had DC (in my 40s) - I therefore recommend (rather than wish I had done), going out (gigs, festivals, dinner, pissups -probably not if you are already pregnant, clubbing), napping on the sofa all day, shopping, couple of nice holidays. I'd like to point out that I have managed to do all these things again since having DC1 16months ago and intent to start again shortly after DC2 is born in 3 weeks (in fact I have 2 gigs and one festival to get through before I am due) but you just can't do it all the time like I used to. I now hold a lot of parties at my house so I can have DD upstairs asleep (we have a tall thin house so she can't hear the party 3 floors below) and still have an uproarious time with friends.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and enjoy!

inchoccyheaven · 20/06/2011 18:22

Have more sex because when they are older and don't go to bed until you do it can be a bit tricky !

BulletWithAName · 20/06/2011 18:26

More studying ie. finished my A levels and gone on to Uni.
Travel- never been abroad Sad

scarlettsmummy2 · 20/06/2011 18:26

cinema, lie ins on a sunday morning, took mini breaks because I could afford it then and didn't need to worry if it was child friendly!!