Towel-gate

[Tunip]

DH had a bath on Saturday night.
He left his towel on the sofa. Shoes in the bathroom door way, jeans on the bathroom floor. (There were no throws of passion involved to explain the scattering of clothes, it is just where he took them off )

They are still there.

AIBU to leave them there?

and

AIBU to ask you to join me in towel-watch to see how long the towel stays on the sofa?

PS I am not enabling his behaviour by picking up after him, hence stuff is where he left it. I know life is short to get wound up by these things- but it is too short for me to go around picking up after him

PPS I don't want a divorce

PPPS I think these threads always mention what a great DH and Dad he is - he is!

PPPPS He has had a shower since then

then again when i was working full time in 2009 i had to go to a sales meeting at a restaurant with the office staff and about 20 sales reps. DH wasnt happy as he knows what Sales reps are like etc etc i was with my manager, work collegues other office department staff etc.

DH stayed home looking after the children, when i got in he had left the dinner pots on the side. I didnt clean them.
I went to work the next day and when i came home they were STILL there including that mornigns breakfast pots (he was a SAHD back then) i didnt leave them like i should have done, i cleaned them up i had to it was doing my napper in. looking back i should have left them to see how long they were left.

The towel is just flung and the shoes are in the middle of the doorway - so if you go for a pee you have to step over them!!

The jeans have gone now as he is wearing them.

Why would you leave them? Why not pick stuff up? It's not that much to ask if your DH is out at work and you are at home for you to do a bit of picking and tidying. Yes, I know sometimes men can be just like taller DC, but surely that's your job as mum to keep on top of the housework. Eventually he will pick up the towel no doubt, but by then it will be stinking to high heaven.
If this is a stand-off, will a row ensue?? All over a towel that you could've picked up and flung in the wash basket in 3 seconds flat? Seems like a lot of effort for little reward, or to make a point.
YABU.

Neither of us are particularly tidy and our dining table frequently disappears under a pile of junk but towels always get hung up in the bathroom to dry, otherwise they smell. Has the one on the sofa started to pong?

I had a petty stand off about a piece of toast on the floor. caved after 3 weeks as it was beginning to crumble and spread itself around. 3 bloody weeks....

Nocake sounds like my house table full of folded clothes waiting to go up. i hate putting clothes away. The only clothes that are on my bathroom floor are the ones waiting to go in the washer.

Blackeyedsusan
Would that not have attracted ants/mice?

I'm thinking you may be taking this too seriously beejayel.
I'm afraid I'm a bit of a towel leaver too, along with other bits and pieces, but I've only got my son to contend with and he just leaves everything in his bedroom, which stockpiles until he brings it through to get washed.

beejayal what you're describing is the technique men have used for decades to ensure picking up skiddy underpants falls to the woman. Housework is not a petty thing to fall out over - it's a pretty fundamental part of day-to-day life else we'd all be living in dirt-encrusted hovels. Why should it all fall to the woman. And if it was such a small thing as you describe, why the hell can't he do it?

beejayel love the stereotyping there.

What is it like never doing something just because?

I've had a sniff, it doesn't smell

Stick with it op, you're doing well!

Dh's bedroom at his mums house was a tip. Everything was on the floor and he always maintained that he tried to be tidy but his 2 brothers who he shared with were too messy. When his mum heard this excuse she nearly wet herself laughing.

Now that I live with him I can honestly say his mum was rightand dh was talking bollocks. The problem is that mess just doesn't bother him (until he can't find something or something gets broken because it gets stood on) but until then he just doesn't see the mess.

Makes my life easier because I only have to clean (or tell dh to clean) when I want to!

leave the abusive controlling bastard!!!

OP I think you are trying to approach a situation that causes frustration in many people (women can be as untidy as men are always accused of being), with a sense of humour. Well done you.

I think you should do various "fun" things to the items without moving them. If the shoes have laces, replace one of them with a bright ribbon. Or draw some eyes on plain White stickers and attach to create a face.

Humour can be a great way to diffuse a situation that although a small thing, can be annoying and easily escalate to something bigger.

Looking forward to your updates!

My DH folds his towel absolutely perfectly in half every time and hangs it immaculately on the relevant rail. For some reason this annoys me intensely.
Just saying.

Knock him out with one of the shoes and then suffocate him with the towel.

You are right Judy - off to pack all the clean towels and one of each of his shoes

Hassled you know you're heading for divorce don't you? The little things like that build up, and irritation is a far bigger passion killer than rage.

My XP (the nice one, not the abusive one) had this thing about which way the toilet roll was facing. I have a preference too, but not to the extent of turning it around if it's on the 'wrong' way. What is that about?

it will stay there for ever - be warned!!!!

beejayal...naughty, naughty. Perhaps it's the type of blokes you attract who have the skiddy underpants. I can assure you I don't , and never have..

sunshineandboots, I always turn the toilet roll around if it is facing what I think to be the 'wrong' way..

sorry, sunshineandbooks...

Good luck, tunip!

I did this with a pair of DH's boxers on the bathroom floor. I believe it was 3 or 4 days before he noticed they weren't going anywhere by themselves, and removed them.

Problem is, once you've stepped over them a few times, you kind of mentally edit them out. By the time he picked them up, they'd kind of become part of the furniture. Not sure if he needed a chisel to prise them off the lino though...

Embarrassingly, he used to be an ultra-tidy person when we met, I have dragged him down to my level over the years.

Whose side of the sofa is the towel on?

You could pick the stuff up, but only to put them on his side of the bed.

That's quite a big hint.

Ineeda I am going to come round your house and turn them all the other 'wrong' way just to get my revenge

You need a very hairy dog. Anything lying strewn around our bedroom may get accidentally tipped on to the floor. Whereupon it will be so covered in white hairs within seconds it will nearly disappear from view.

You may have gathered we are in a hoovering stand-off-situation... I anticipate no longer being able to see the dust on top of the door frames when one of us cracks. We are probably saving a lot on heating bills in the meantime.