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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have told my friend to fuck off and mind her own buisness

87 replies

Pumpernickel10 · 20/06/2011 13:23

I don't think IABU here. Was talking pocket money, my DD gets £10 a week which she saves in the bank and £5 each of her grandparents.
My friend said it was too much money for a 10 yr old. She saves most of it and doesn't buy crap so told friend to fuck off and keep opinions to herself.

OP posts:
Pictish · 20/06/2011 13:56

What? Your dd gets £10 a week pocket money but she's not allowed to spend it??

Why on earth don't you just have a savings account instead? That is NOT pocket money!

beatrixkitto · 20/06/2011 13:57

I would have told her to fuck off back under the rock she crawled out of when she said my daughter was ugly! Some people tsk.....

Hullygully · 20/06/2011 13:57

I would like to have a definition of pocket money

I am very concerned at the all the different terms being banded about

Is there a piggy bank involved?

electra · 20/06/2011 13:59

She doesn't sound like much of a friend to me - if this were my 'friend' I'd bin her asap.

ellodarlin · 20/06/2011 14:00

Your savings for her future isn't pocket money Confused.

And its relative.

£20 a week isn't a lot for a comfortable family if it covers everything but its loads for a skint family if it doesn't cover clothes/cinema/toiletries etc.

Original poster
Pumpernickel10 · 20/06/2011 14:01

its put into a savings account picsch its for when shes older
we just call it pocket money,its our terminology. Money from gramps she puts in piggy bank or spends it on what she wants.
Shes not being deprived anything

OP posts:
Original poster
Pumpernickel10 · 20/06/2011 14:02

your right ellodarlin we will call it something out.
I guess because we put it in on a weekly basis for her and she gets a savings book we called it that.

OP posts:
fatlazymummy · 20/06/2011 14:02

Another joke thread?
OP, it's entirely up to you and your family how much pocket money your children will receive. You don't need to tell any else how much. The best thing to do is to keep your business to yourself then no one else can mind it.
I agree about her calling your daughter ugly though. That would have been the last conversation I would have had with her.

Original poster
Pumpernickel10 · 20/06/2011 14:04

fatlazymummy not a joke thread,believe it or not!

OP posts:
caughtinanet · 20/06/2011 14:08

I am going to slightly revise my earlier post. YABU to call this person your friend, why do you spend any time with her? But I still thinks its unreasonable to talk to anyone like that.

oohlaalaa · 20/06/2011 14:11

YABU.

GetOrf · 20/06/2011 14:16

I would give up on the friendship tbh. It sounds like the pair of you cant stand each other and are horrible to each other in a strangely competitive manner.

No need to have people in your life like that. You don't have to make a stand 'I am not your friend any more' but just drop the calls etc.

It doesn't really matter how much money your dd gets, for some people £20 a week would be fine, for some it would be extortionate.

You should have a look at the 'how much do you spend on your child at christmas' threads. Grin

As long as you are happy, that's fine. No need to resort to telling someone to fuck off if they agree with you, but also no need to stay in touch with someone who is so insulting generally.

GetOrf · 20/06/2011 14:17

if they disagree with yiu I meant to type

Original poster
Pumpernickel10 · 20/06/2011 14:20

I couldn't help but swear at her as I was still reeling from the other day

OP posts:
Emmerybored · 20/06/2011 14:24

i had a friend like that and last week told her exactly what i thought and have totally cut her off. she was my friend for 8 years and althought i will miss her children and dp i am glad i will never have to listen to another insult or deal with another mood swing again.
i think what your doing for your daughter is lovely and you shouldnt have to justify it to anyone

jugglingmug · 20/06/2011 14:28

YABU to have a further conversation with her after she said your daughter was ugly...no way would I be able to have anything to do with her again.

Fimbo · 20/06/2011 14:29

I know someone exactly as you describe Pumpernickel, but she has dc, I ditched her in the end.

M0naLisa · 20/06/2011 14:31

when i wass 10yr old i got £2.50 a week that went into a piggy bank on my dad mantlepiece at his house - we only got pocket money from dad and stepmum and we had to save it for holidays

£40 per month plus £20 per week is ALOT for a 10yr old.

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 20/06/2011 14:34

I give my 13 yo £2 a week pocket money, and the 11 and 8 yo £1. They get it in their hand and put it in their money boxes and spend it as they like. My mum also gives them money, about £10 each every month but to me, and I put it in a savings account for each of them. They don't know about this money, it's not pocket money, it's savings for when they're older. If they knew about it I think it would burn a hole in their pocket! I think it's the terminology, pocket money of £20 a week is loads too much. I hope your DD becomes a sensible teenager and doesn't splash the lot!

Original poster
Pumpernickel10 · 20/06/2011 15:41

DD is sensible and knows that money is for when shes 18
Maybe its alot for a 10 yr old,but as its for her future we don't really think it is :)

OP posts:
Emmerybored · 20/06/2011 15:46

thats all that matters pumpernickel

jeckadeck · 20/06/2011 16:16

I mean, it depends how it was done: its annoying when people wade in with opinions about your life unprompted, but if you asked for her view then its a bit rude to tell her to f* off. I would be pissed off if I hadn't initiated the discussion and someone saw fit to lecture me about how much money I gave my kid. But if you asked her what she thought then you can't turn round and give her a hissyfit if she tells you...

Original poster
Pumpernickel10 · 20/06/2011 16:20

No I never asked her,she was go on about her brothers kids saying how much they get then asked me what I give DD thats when it became heated and I swore at her.

OP posts:
5Foot5 · 20/06/2011 17:07

So if I understand you correctly that is £10 a week from you that goes in to a savings account (not in the least excessive - very sensible if you can afford it) and £10 a week from grandparents that is pocket money? IMO £10 is still quite a bit for a 10yo but fair enough, not my business.

As to this "friend" - well in light of your later posts I can quite see how she has driven you to some forthright comments! What surproses me is how you managed to bite your tongue when she took the piss out of your DH and implied your DD was ugly then finally lost it over something relatively trivial like so-called pocket money. Guess it was just the last straw was it?

Anyway, keep her away - she sounds very unpleasant.

fairydoll · 20/06/2011 17:17

Well she didn't say yher DD was ugly, she said that if she didn't get braces she would be ugly.I took this just as a warning to you get them sorted.
I am sick of these changing-the-whole-lie-of-the-land threads when the Op gets a lot of YABU
like'AIBU to hate my next door neighbour because he has a budgi' metaphorosises to 'but he did murder my parents and dance on their graves'

Swipe left for the next trending thread