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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking my DP's friend is a knob?

49 replies

RalphGnu · 20/06/2011 07:49

I am so so mad and need to vent! DP's friend kindly offered to drive me, DP and DS to the airport to go on our hols. It's about an hour's drive at the most. We insisted that we give him the petrol money at the very least but he refused, saying he was happy to do it out of friendship. So bearing in mind we are due to fly TOMORROW, he now says he doesn't want to take us because he can't smoke in the car with DS being there. He says we shouldn't mind because it's not like we were paying him for it! I've phoned round all the local taxi companies and nobody is free to take us on such short notice meaning we now have to take the bloody train with our suitcases and DS in a pushchair.

DP can't see why I'm so cross but am I being unreasonable in expecting a grown man to be able to refrain from smoking for less than a bloody hour and to not let his best friends down at the last minute?

OP posts:
kenbarlowslovestick · 20/06/2011 07:51

yanbu what a tit

StuckInTheMiddleWithYou · 20/06/2011 07:51

I'm a smoker and I think he's a nob.

Ivortheengine8 · 20/06/2011 07:52

He is a knob! He shouldn't have offered in the first place if he didn't want to. I wouldn't want my little one sitting in a car of smoke.(and I'm an ex smoker) There are plenty of places he can stop off and have a smoke outside anyway. Why don't you sugest 'smoking stops?'

Ivortheengine8 · 20/06/2011 07:53

How far is it OP?

thumbwitch · 20/06/2011 07:56

He is an utter knob, sorry! What a git to do that to you and your DH is just as bad if he can't see how fucking bad a thing that is to do to you.

I had a friend who insisted on driving us to the airport for a holiday, absolutely insisted - despite it being a 4am-ish start. At 11pm the night before she phoned me, drunk, from the train, saying she would "still be fine to take us" - like hell!!!! Luckily, my BIL gets up pretty early anyway and he very kindly took us at ridiculously short notice otherwise we would have been utterly screwed.

People who offer and don't deliver, especially at short notice, are worse than those who never offer, IMO.

arghh · 20/06/2011 07:59

YANBU he sounds like a jerk,maybe you can buy him a nicotine patch for the hour he has to drive! what an ass. Enjoy the train journey knowing that at least you dont have to sit in a car with such a selfish tosser!

Original poster
RalphGnu · 20/06/2011 08:02

It's 40 miles away roughly. He insisted on going on the motorway because it's quicker but at the time he offered I even suggested going the A road way so he could have a 'fag break'! And he could still do that, we wouldn't mind in the slightest! What gets me is the way he's using the fact he wasn't charging us any money as an excuse to back out of it. It's really put a dampener on the whole thing now as we don't fly until 21:20 but have to get a train at 16:00 and lug our 18 month about who is at the running off stage which will be fun. Groan.

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 20/06/2011 08:07

YADNBU.I am a smoker, a heavy smoker, but I can go for an hour without having one.
Don't buy him any duty free as a punishment.

Ivortheengine8 · 20/06/2011 08:07

Nightmare with the train I agree! :( Can he not even go 40 mins without a fag?!

kreecherlivesupstairs · 20/06/2011 08:08

Actually, that's a good idea. I know he is a nobber, but it clearly would be more convenient if he did drive you.
Could you offer 200 fags if he doesn't smoke on the way as an inducement?

MorelliOrRanger · 20/06/2011 08:10

Agree with Kreecher

YANBU and he's a complete and utter knob.

AnyFuleKno · 20/06/2011 08:12

Sounds like a get out. He has just realised that this thing he has promised to do is actually going to happen, and he can't be arsed.

dreamingbohemian · 20/06/2011 08:18

YANBU

If you go to the website for your airport, they usually list a whole host of companies that do pick ups and drop offs... some that only do airport runs, so you may not have heard of them... don't give up on a taxi yet!

wrongdecade · 20/06/2011 08:29

Soounds like a really bad friend Im surprised you DP isnt more annoyed if that was my mate I'd be livid

TurkeyBurgerThing · 20/06/2011 08:35

I used to smoke and in all my smoking years never felt the need to smoke in my car! I was always afraid that if I flicked it out of the window it would come back in and blow up the car.

That aside, men don't seem to think like women when it comes to orgnising things. It's aaaalways last minute this, last minute that. Whereas we need to know at LEAST several days in advance (if not weeks!) especially if it's something as getting suitcases, child, and other stuff to an airport in time to go on holiday. The travelling is SO stressful. Hope you get there ok and have a great time though!

YADNBU!

MotherMucca · 20/06/2011 08:42

Which airport and from where (generally speaking?)

Original poster
RalphGnu · 20/06/2011 08:44

kreecher DP is playing pool with him tonight so I'll get him to put the offer on the table, it's a good idea. I'll also get him to remind him we're looking after their dog for the weekend next month while they go to Prague. If no luck I'll try your suggestion dreamingbohemian.

OP posts:
ZillionChocolate · 20/06/2011 08:49

I wouldn't look after his dog for the weekend if he can't do a two hour trip for you.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 20/06/2011 08:51

I wouldn't make him any offer at all. He's a tossbag and he doesn't deserve a present of 200 fags. It's not so much the not being able to smoke 'excuse' for me (although that is annoying), it's the flakiness of insisting ? not just offering ? and then backing out at such short notice.

And no, don't look after his bloody dog.

TrilllianAstra · 20/06/2011 09:04

If an adult says they will do something.

Then they should do it.

It's not as if circumstances have changed.

ConnorTraceptive · 20/06/2011 09:06

If he doesn't take you please don't be a mug and look after his bloody dog

Original poster
RalphGnu · 20/06/2011 09:08

If it weren't for the fact I'm getting a bit desperate and can't really afford to fork out £80 for a taxi I wouldn't have anything more to do with him, believe me. I would love to chuck our offer to look after his dog back in his face but it's so he can take his lovely wife away for her 40th and don't want to spoil it for her (I'm far too nice for my own good). I'm going to ask around today and see if anyone else will take us, can't bear the thought of getting the train to Manchester at peak time.

OP posts:
Omigawd · 20/06/2011 09:12

The dog-sitting is off, but only tell them the day before :)

TurkeyBurgerThing · 20/06/2011 09:17

No, tell him 3 hours before.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 20/06/2011 09:18

Offer the inducement of 200 fags but only if he agrees to drive you to the airport and pick you up on your return.

Can't you have a quiet word with his lovely wife before nobhead meets up with your dp tonight?

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