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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

in thinking my DP's friend is a knob?

49 replies

RalphGnu · 20/06/2011 07:49

I am so so mad and need to vent! DP's friend kindly offered to drive me, DP and DS to the airport to go on our hols. It's about an hour's drive at the most. We insisted that we give him the petrol money at the very least but he refused, saying he was happy to do it out of friendship. So bearing in mind we are due to fly TOMORROW, he now says he doesn't want to take us because he can't smoke in the car with DS being there. He says we shouldn't mind because it's not like we were paying him for it! I've phoned round all the local taxi companies and nobody is free to take us on such short notice meaning we now have to take the bloody train with our suitcases and DS in a pushchair.

DP can't see why I'm so cross but am I being unreasonable in expecting a grown man to be able to refrain from smoking for less than a bloody hour and to not let his best friends down at the last minute?

OP posts:

controlpantsandgladrags · 20/06/2011 09:24

Absolutely tell him the day before that the dog sitting is off. He's a knob.

ConnorTraceptive · 20/06/2011 09:27

Maybe she should have a chat with his lovely wife then. If looking after the dog is also a favour to her then perhaps she could help out here. Even if she can't take you herself she should be bending his ear for being a knob. I would be mortified if my DH did something like that!

DooinMeCleanin · 20/06/2011 09:27

He can't go for 40 minutes without a fag? Jesus! My Dad smokes 80 a day and even he can manage 40 minutes when he has to. Does the man not work? It sounds like there must be more to this than the smoking. It can't possibly just be because he can't smoke.

YANBU btw.

sb6699 · 20/06/2011 09:35

I think he' just decided he cant be arsed tbh.

There is no way he couldnt do without a ciggie for 40 minutes and I say that as a smoker.

Original poster

RalphGnu · 20/06/2011 09:47

FUMING!!!!! His wife has seen my FB post about being let down at the last minute and has phoned up to speak to my DP in a very snippy tone. I said he was in bed so she let rip at me saying her DH will be very tired after working all day which is why he doesn't want to take us. I pointed out that a) he works from home, b) he offered in the first place, we didn't ask him to help us out and c) he is a shit friend.

She can shove her dog up her arse!

OP posts:

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 20/06/2011 09:51

Go Ralph, go!

at 'shove her dog up her arse'

SenoritaViva · 20/06/2011 09:53

They sounds like tossers, the pair of them. Agreed, maybe he will be tired but then why on earth did he agree to do it in the first place? They sound ridiculous to me.

Yes, dog sitting out. But don't tell them yet will you? Let them down at the last minute because you'll be too tired to do it or some such bollocks. Petty? Yes. Satisfying? Hopefully.

DooinMeCleanin · 20/06/2011 09:55

Personally I would tell them you have decided not to mind the dog as you have taken up smoking and have realised it would to be too difficult to hold a dog lead and light a fag at the same time, it's not they're paying you or anything.

GetOrf · 20/06/2011 09:55

lol at 'shove the dog up her arse'

Miserable pair of sods. Mind you, trains are OK. There are two adults and one child. You will be fine, and at least you won't be beholden to people like that.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 20/06/2011 09:58

Ah, now you've lost my sympathy a bit.
I loathe FB and you've just illustrated why.
I don't understand people who need to post the absolute minutiae of their lives on it.
Get the train.

jeckadeck · 20/06/2011 10:00

how ridiculous. He must have known when he offered that he was going to have to go without a fag for the duration of the journey. People who smoke have to go without while they are on planes, for example. What a twat. Could he have some other ulterior motive for dropping you in it?

DooinMeCleanin · 20/06/2011 10:01

I presumed she was posting on FB along the lines of 'Can anyone give us a lift to airport, been let down at last minute, hence short notice' rather than 'twatty mactawatbags is a big fat twat and won't take us cuz he is a lazy fucker, need a lift, can anyone help?' - although both would accaptable considering the circumstances

FannyFifer · 20/06/2011 10:01

They sound like a lovely pair.

ChaoticAngelofLitha · 20/06/2011 10:05

"She can shove her dog up her arse!"

jeckadeck has a point. How will he manage on a flight to Prague if he can't last the time it takes to get to the airport?

Original poster

RalphGnu · 20/06/2011 10:15

That's more or less what I put, DooinMeCleanin, although I was tempted to start name-calling.

I'm glad I did post on FB however, a friend I worked with ages ago is taxi-ing these days and is going to take us and pick us up for half the price he usually charges, which works out cheaper than us getting the train. Phew.

Sad thing is though, I doubt it'll change DP's relationship with him. DP will get up in a bit and when I tell him about the phone conversation he'll just shrug. I however, would rather perform bowel surgery on myself with a rusty spoon than have anything to do with them again, and DP won't understand why.

OP posts:

Original poster

RalphGnu · 20/06/2011 10:16

jeckadeck that is a great point, why the hell didn't I think of that? Am resisting the urge to pick up the phone....

OP posts:

SenoritaViva · 20/06/2011 10:19

Can you show DP this thread?

tribpot · 20/06/2011 10:19

So what you've learnt is:

never rely on this friend for a favour
your DP isn't going to stand up to him
therefore if you end up looking after the dog for them, it will be entirely DP's responsibility. You will just be shrugging.

OldMacEIEIO · 20/06/2011 10:30

the smoking and the tiredness are irellevant excuses.
If you say you are going to do something, you do it

thumbwitch · 20/06/2011 10:43

Hurrah for FB having a double result!
1> you get a cheaper-than-the-train taxi lift from someone reliable
2> you discover the "lovely" wife really isn't and can therefore dump the dog-sitting without any qualms

However - I get the feeling that your DP will still be in favour of doing the dog-sitting, especially as you're getting your cheaper taxi ride so he won't see what the problem is as you're still going to manage to get to the airport (I know people like this, they drive me bats) - so I strongly recommend you tell him that if he wants to dog-sit the dog he can do it in their house because you're having nothing to do with it.

SenoritaViva · 20/06/2011 11:05

Can you not tell DP that the taxi ride is half the price??? Perhaps use the cash for a little holiday purchasing? Devious and not really to be done I suppose, couldn't do it to my DH but would be tempting (I'd have to come clean in my uber nice new sun dress I suppose).

Pixieonthemoor · 20/06/2011 11:08

He really should have thought about it a little earlier and not left it til the last minute and drop you in it. He is bu, you are not bu.

heleninahandcart · 20/06/2011 12:39

Maybe say nothing about the dog, Then announce the day before you can't have it as you're tired

Jaspants · 20/06/2011 12:44

oh YA so NBU. Agree don't look after the dog and at shove your dog up your arse

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