to expect to be fed at the party?

[dolldaggabuzzbuzz]

I'm just getting ready to go to a 'cocktail party' for an aquaintances birthday at her house. We are expected to dress up in cocktail dresses, bring spirits and fruit juices and have been advised to eat before we arrive as she doesn't want to put on food for up to 40 people. I have had a pizza so I won't be hungry but that is not the point, I will be sat with no drink OR food as I am driving (too far away to get a taxi). DH is saying we have to go NOW. We are expected to arrive at 6pm. AIBU?

at swingers party and crumbs in pants

You are not BU. That isn't a party IMO. There should always be some sort of food at a party, or any kind of social occasion.

leave early and go to the indian for a curry :)

I think that you are more annoyed that you will not drink, am i right?

If so, YANBU.

If it is really about the food YABU. Take a family-size crisps with you and dont share.

mmm... what would a taxi cost? Most people I know would taxi share to make it affordable, if it's only 28 min. away, not that far?
(Keeping in mind OP left 35 min ago!).

I would definitely be leaving at 7.30 for something to eat. If you aren't providing the drinks either then some sausage rolls etc. really don't cost that much.

The hosts must be providing pringles and cheese & pineapple-on-a-stick surely ? I refuse to believe someone would throw a party without some sort of nibbles available.

I doubt it's totally food-free, it's unfeasible, it's foolishness!

There must be some finger foods and lots of snacks and dips - she can't expect 40 people to come to the house and drink alcohol all night on an empty stomach. I'd go later in the evening....oh you're probably there right now. You should have gone later. Weirdo woman (your friend, not you)

thats not a party, the hostess with the mostess is not providing food and you have to bring your own drinks and its way to early

I would take a picnic with me or order a take away for delivery to her address on your mobile when you get peckish

piglet- it is a feminist issue that women often get stuck with being the designated driver, 'cos it's more important for the man to have fun doncha know?

yabu, you cant expect anythng really. get a burger on the way

What time is it supposed to finish? If it's 6-8pm then go for dinner after. If it's an all evening affair, 6pm is too early to start with no food. If you don't want to do a meal, you start the party at 8, but I'd still put out crisps, nuts, etc.

Think the swingers thing might be right on the money - now I'm wondering if the bemused OP has been asked to put her car keys in a big bowl and is right now sitting nervously on the edge of a sofa whilst being given knowing winks by the hostess...

6pm is very early to start drinking especially if there is no food to soak up the alcohol. Your hostess is not being very responsible. I would at least put out some nibbles and bread and cheese.

God, I do so very much love it when you happen upon other people's outrageous hostzilla stories on Mumsnet. Will never get over the dil who wanted to charge everyone for Christmas lunch - that was one of my favourite threads ever.

If you don't want to shoulder the full responsibility of hosting a party, then don't send out the invites! EASY.

Roffle at Verity. But she is quite right. Have people forgotten the very concept of being host?

I remember her, bibbity, she is my idol

It's probably from 6, and no-one will turn up til 8 having eaten at a nice restaurant on the way

Right, so, you are going out for the evening and you cannot drink because you are driving. On top of this you are expected to arrive at 6pm, having already eaten. You are also expected to bring spirits and mixers.

I have to say that sounds like one of the most pants nights out I can imagine.

I would have found something more interesting (like watching tv) to do instead .

This is what I used to love about living abroad:

If you are invited to an event by your Dutch friends and the invite doesnt mention food then you know that food wont be provided. You should arrive at the time on the invite. You can safely buy lunch or dinner knowing that you will be home in time to eat it and wont have had your appetite spoiled by party food.

If you are invited by your Polish friends, you can arrive at any time. You will be fed until your feet cant reach the ground. When you eventually struggle to your feet and make to leave your host will fall weeping on your neck asking why you cant stay for breakfast. Your host will make you a packed meal for your journey home - you live next door.

When you have an invite from your British friends you have no idea what you will get.

That's not a party that's a drinking sesh. There'll be too many people pissed up too quickly and too early if they haven't eaten anything/much.

OK ... let me get this straight - you have to dress up in a cocktail dress, drive somewhere out in the sticks (so trains/buses/taxis/walking not an option), bring strong alcohol BUT not drink it as you will be driving ... and get nothing to eat ... Some party.