to not want my drunk partner to share a bed with my 4 yo ds

[smithereenies]

Last week my dp came home really drunk at 3:30 a.m. He got into (single) bed w our 4 yo ds in just his underpants, and I asked him to get out as I thought it inappropriate (mainly because he was so drunk). I didn't really want him in with me as I was sleeping with our 18 mo who wasn't well (d + v). He was really angry and slept on the couch - he is still angry about it so I wonder aibu to think I was right? We're going through a very difficult patch at the mo btw

Gah, must be so annoying to be married to someone who's considered to be 'saintly.' Really, really annoying.

atswimtoolengths: make that really, really, really, really annoying, yes. He is often described as 'poor mr smithereenie.' And he does give the impression of being a very moral, thoroughly decent, diplomatic, seemingly thoughtful and selfless person. Though he sort of dissolved the moral high ground from under his feet with this incident..

and thank you all - while we clearly have completely huge problems that won't disappear overnight, I feel a little better to have vented and been vindicated in this one, petty and all as it sounds! He did do something for 'me' today (i.e. went and got groceries I needed but that he will eat as well) and said 'so does this mean we're friends again?) but I said what he did with the drunk bed thing was really low and he said he doesn't see what the problem was, and I was a cow for turfing him out of ds's bed!

You were a cow!

So not only does he come home rip roaring drunk when there are two sick children in the house, he tries to climb into bed with one of the poor kids and then calls you names?

I would be asking his sycophants what they think of his behaviour!

atswim - I have just had to read your last 2 posts a couple of times to make sure that you were agreeing with the OP, not otherwise! From first read, it looked like you were giving her grief as well! Not having a go at you at all, just wanted to let you know that your post was a bit ambiguous.

Smithereenies - if he still can't see what the problem was with him crowding his sick DS in his single bed, then he has attitude issues which he probably won't lose. And if he's calling you a cow for looking after your DS, then he has a Really Big Fucking Problem. :(
Shame DS didn't poo on him really... except he'd have just left you to clear it up, no doubt.

Good grief - he sounds like a real prize

Has he never grown up? What sort of father would ever think it was alright to come home blind drunk and hog a small boy's bed?? Especially since the poor lad was ill? And leave you alone to deal with it to boot.
This is not good Dad behaviour. At all.

YANBU, that's completely out of order. I dislike sharing my double bed with a drunk man, they snore, smell, bad breath/sweat/alcohol/farts, take up too much space, dead weight, disgusting. And that's in a double bed with a partner who has chosen to sleep there, not a single bed with a poorly child. It also crossed my mind that he might get morning wood and be too pissed/hungover to realise which would be also horrible for your DS.

It was so far beyond ok for him to even try to sleep in DS's bed - but we all do stupid things when drunk, you could almost put the insults down to drunk stupidity too (although in vino veritas I'm afraid) but the fact that he still thinks you were in the wrong is beyond belief.