To think it's weird to put a baby in nursery while still on maternity leave?

[ObiWanKenobi]

met a lady who is still on maternity leave (baby 7 months) who has put baby in a nursery while she's on maternity leave still as she thinks it's nice for her to have some time to herself. I thought the whole point of maternity leave was to spend time with your baby. Especially bought it weird as the lady had come to a baby group without her baby!

but the baby group thing is weird IMO - maybe she was lonely?

How is it any of your business? It never ceases to amaze the strong opinions people have on things that have no bearing on themselves whatsoever.

Well MsTeak, there'd be naff all to talk about on MN if we didn't discuss other people. And let's face it, you're here so I think you can hop off your high horse.

No high horse here, I'm as happy as anyone else to be nosy and judgy, I'm just a bit lost as to someone getting het up about something so specific that doesn't affect anyone at all. Thats all

Gwendoline, I don't really see the difference between being a SAHM and being on mat leave. It boils down to the same thing which is caring for your child full time.

Just because someone is paying you on mat leave makes no difference. And it's not as if her work are stipulating her to stay at home with the baby 24/7.

depends how long baby is there for. 1 or perhaps 1.5 to 2 days / week - i could just understand. any more, and i would really wonder.

i put my toddler into nursery 2 days a week, so i can spend some time with little ds on his own, and get some stuff done! plus she loves running around with all the other little people. ds doesn't go into nursery at all.

this is not very nice to say , but my nursery told me proudly that now they are licensed to take babies from birth, they had a 6 week old 4 days a week. i was pretty shocked. i had my judgypants on that day...

YAdefBU - speaking as someone who has no family support locally, I put DS2 in nursery 1 day a week from about 8 months just to give me a break/get stuff done/sleep and then 2 weeks before I went back to work at about 20 months, he went 4 days a week (as he would be doing from then on) so he could get used to it (as could I ) which, I have to admit, was bliss - like a mini holiday before the non-stop routine of going to work with 2 young DC.

However, I am guessing the OP would also think I was out of order for keeping DS1 in nursery 4 days a week all the time I was on maternity leave with DS2

Although why on earth would you go to a baby group if you didn't have too - go shopping, to the gym, to Starbucks...anything is better than that

YABU.

When I had ds I put dd (18 months) in a nursery 2 days a week.

Maybe she finds looking after her first child difficult, maybe she has PND, maybe she goes to the baby groups to (shock horror) make friends.

I don't think it's weird unless it's fulltime.

I hate it when OPs bugger off and don't come back to find out just how U they are! :o

Hello everyone and thanks for comments. Curryspice - I didn't bugger off. Just busy so checking back in after posting this morning. It's the first time I've started an AIBU thread and finding the comments very interesting. I don't know how long this baby is in nursery but do know the mum said it wasn't settling in. Agree with all that The situation for a SAHM is v diff. My question was about someone on mat leave. I'm on mat leave and can't imagine doing this. On my own all day and dreading going back to work and leaving DD when my time home is up.

I put DD in with a CM at 10 months - two months before my mat leave was up. Not fulltime but I did it to give DD enough time to settle in, to give me time to get used to not being with her, to mentally prepare myself for going back to work, to have some "me time" before work resumed, to go shopping for new work clothes etc. I might have even put DD in earlier than 10 months if I'd found the CM early enough.

YABU.

Note to self...dump ds at MILs asap so I can stay in bed all day he can settle with her before I go back to work :o

Seriously though, I feel guilty if I lie in and miss 2 hours of ds's day so I'm going to be a wreck when I go back to work. Leaving ds at MILs without me having to go somewhere else is sooo hard! it's like trying to go back to bed when they're newborn when someone comes to babysit for a few hours...I used to spend the few hours with ds and the babysitter! Fail.

AIBU to think it's weird how some people give so much thought as to what other people do with their own time and money?

It's not compulsory to spend 24/7 with your baby when on mat leave. I hated the thought of going back to work after having a baby but at the same time I was desperate to have a bit of time to myself sometimes. I don't suppose she's putting her baby into nursery all day everyday. If she was leaving her baby with granny for a couple of hours, I bet nobody would criticise her.

Thought at first it was a bit odd going to baby group without a baby, but then again, they are as much for mums to get out and have a chat as they are for the baby. Maybe she just wanted to get out of the house and have a bit of company.

YABU
Both mine went to nursery for 2 sessions a week from 3 months old so I could get a bit of 'me time' although I didn't go back to work until they were 2 years and 1 year old. They LOVE nursery and adjusted to the extra hours easily.