Has anyone got any good ideas for revenge?

[anniemosity]

I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas for revenge that they had either carried out or fantasised about on abusive twat exes. I see nothing wrong with revenge as long as it makes you feel better. I have namechanged for this post.

Several years ago I was unfortunately in an abusive relationship with a creep who was obsessed with himself, cannabis and sex. He had tried to bully me into taking cannabis as well as class A drugs and into taking part in sexual practices I was very uncomfortable with. Plus lots and lots of other things, too much to go in to right now.

When I finally broke up with him for good, I returned the vibrators he had bought me (yes he bullied me into using sex toys too, I hated it ) with a note which read:
"Dear Ex-Creep, I have had my use from these. They were better than anything you had to offer me, but not as good as what I'm getting now. You don't need me to tell you where you can stick them."

Childish I know and it would have definitely hurt him as he always saw himself as God's gift to women. And it made me feel soooo much better and over him!

Callisto it's hard to feel happy and fulfilled when he's fucking someone you both work with. Sometimes revenge has its place, as long as no-one is harmed!

Whilst I agree with other posters that from an older and wiser perspective the best revenge is to move on, when I was much younger I did the following to an ex. [Disclaimer: I don't know if this is legal].

I signed him up to as many 'send no money now' offers for all that tat you see at the back of Sunday supplements as I could find. He would have had to send them all back or start paying for them. He got amongst other things chintz plates, a massive chinoiserie clock, free samples of tampax, a subscription to Dateline, info on impotence and not one but two porcelain dolls.

But yes would would say now that karma usually sorts these things.

Lostintranmogrification - can you not get another job somewhere else? I would imagine it is soul destroying to be in this situation.

I have heard of someone using the ex's phone, dialling the speaking clock in New York and leaving the phone connected for an entire weekend. But that was a lady who had to shop at the market and buy clothes for her kids at Oxfam and then found her husband was keeping a mistress in a flat and spending £ thousands on her each month.

A friend of mine wee'd in her boyfriends shampoo as a farewell present when he kicked her out. For the next few weeks, everytime we saw him we'd giggle at his 'pissy hair' Childish, I know, but we were only 20 at the time...

There may have been an anonymous call to the police about his interesting greenhouse. But that was just my civic duty

as was informing (I was a peeved teen after a fucktard and a pg scare In my defense here) extwats very very catholic mum what he liked I heard the fallout was interesting

Karma gets them in the end but I did enjoy helping out a bit.

SocialButterfly Think it went up his bum!

Lost, try using their work addresses to request vrious free, and embarassing, catalogues. Or requet something like hair transplant information for him, care of her, sent to work.

Callisto it was, especially when he stayed at hers during the week (he didn't tell me where he was going) and they came into work in the same car, walked through the car park together, got in the same lift but then ( and this is the genius part) she went and hid in the ladies for 1 minute while he walked past me to his desk so that I and the hundred other people who worked with us wouldn't guess what was going on. They did the same in reverse at the end of the day. Hence the Whisky revenge. He never admitted anything happened before we officially split, the first time they left the office together was the day after they heard I had started seeing someone else!

slug tempting!

My Ex once called me up when i was on my way to DHs - then BF. He said BF would never be able to pleasure me like he could.

so i just said 'yeah he can and hes MUCH better than you, he knows what hes doing, he is a man not a little boy'

and he hung up

bastard he was. I just hope the girl he is with now is exactly like him and checks his phone and deletes the essages or cancels the calls and doesnt tell him about it, or take his bank card and limits what he can spend.

wanker.

when my (one nasty) ex sobbed, cried, pleaded and made a dick of himself while I just stared at him unmoved, that was revenge enough for me

First find a false alibi. Then make effigies of XP and OW, dress them up in all his designer clothes, put them in his precious car (making sure insurance payments are cancelled on our joint account!) and setting it on fire!

Disclaimer - this is a fantasy

I have heard this one from a friend:

The XH was a very proud, very well dressed man. Always had the latest fashion and designer shirts, trousers etc. He'd had numerous affairs and his DW had suffered years of this. She finally asked him to leave and said that she would pack his clothes. She and a friend worked in a laundry. They washed his clothes, cut them in half, ironed them and packed them into the suitcase as if they were freshly laundered clothes (looked as if they hadn't cut them up.)

Sweet.

Agree that the best revenge is to live well, but at 19 I mixed laxative and sleeping tablets into a fruit salad and gave them to my cheating ex. Had phoned a pharmacy to make sure all effects would be inconveniencing rather than dangerous. Was reading "Witches of Eastwick" at the time so my actions seemed tame by comparison.

Would never do that now. Detachment is better for you in every way.

Ex was a bit of a prick.

I rubbed a steak around the dogs bowl then watched him eat it.

Cleaned the bathroom with his toothbrush.

Wrote has a tiny penis in the back of his passport.

Copped off with his best mate in a nightclub.

My step father is also a prick.

I have spat in every cup of tea I've ever made the fat fuck.

< makes note to never cross ENormaSnob >

roaring at "Wrote has a tiny penis in the back of his passport."

Was that in the "distinguishing marks" bit?

[wish I'd thought of that emoticon]

I agree that moving on and being happy is better than any revenge. You've won when the feelings of vengeance are no longer there.

That said, really good malicious revenge involves things that wreak havoc on their lives such as phoning Inland Revenue when they are dodging tax, reporting drink driving and so on. Not that I'd know.

The best thing is to move on and be happy.
Using his name, etc, photo from Facebook and a few made up bit of information (hilarious and strange sexual fantasies) and adding him to a few 'adult' dating sites would help you feel better and make you giggle in the meantime.

I believe in humorous revenge. not the nasty stuff.

Squirt glue in the locks of his car or home?

When my mother finally left and divorced my nasty evil vile violent bastard EX step Dad, who was adamant that my mum was his and that he would NEVER "let her leave him" a card that said

"On the Loss of Your Wife"

(we had never got on and had pretty much argued for 15 years and in that time he violently attacked me and i had the police involved etc etc... all horrific, and i hated him, for how he treated my mum)

In it i wrote
"I told you she'd leave you; yet again i was right"

lets say it didnt go down too well when he recieved it, and he went round (with his mum to my grandparents to "tell them" (Im 30 years old FFS!) and to tell them i had ruined his life, cause now he has a violent criminal record.... my grandparents basically told him to bugger off!) He also photocopied my card (including the back with bar code and envelope) and sent it to several people to show them. Well everyone who knew me laughed

shoulds say I SENT HIM a card that said....

Am amused at the critical role crustacea play in achieving closhurrrre and revenge. Little do they know how pivotal their decomposing remains are when they scurry along the ocean floor.