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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be seriously considering something my evil SIL said

57 replies

TeelaBrown · 15/06/2011 15:49

OK, first AIBU. Just to avoid being called unreasonable out of hand, I don?t really think she?s evil. She just doesn?t like me Grin

I stammer some of the time when I speak. It is not the worst case of stammering ever, but it is noticeable to anyone I regularly talk to. Obviously I was bullied mercilessly when I was younger but I?m over it, and if anyone tries that now, I have a range of comebacks for dealing with them. It happens more when I?m stressed, so probably when she?s around! Anyway:

SIL: Do you think your baby will have a stammer?

(I?m pregnant, first baby)

Me: (pretending she is genuinely concerned) No, (smile) It?s not hereditary.

SIL: Right, but won?t it affect their language development, listening to you all day?

Me:

I have baby brain and I'm a bit of a worrier... so I just want to know... she's not right is she? I mean, obviously she is just being a bitch Angry but WILL my speech impact on my child's language development or am I worrying about nothing? Does anyone know about this sort of thing or have any experience?

Hate her Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
TeelaBrown · 15/06/2011 15:50

sorry, those ? are meant to be apostrophes. stupid computer.

OP posts:
ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 15/06/2011 15:52

Wow. She really is a bitch. I have no experience of stammers, but I have a friend who is deaf and has to wear hearing aids. Her speech is affected, but neither of her children had any problems whatsoever learning to speak.

Nixea · 15/06/2011 15:53

Not really got any experience at all but I do think that was incredibly cruel of your SIL. Sorry.

Numberfour · 15/06/2011 15:53

Jesus Christ! she is a goddam rude and incredibly ignorant twunt!!

YANBU!

Comeback for her: Do you think your children will develop severe personality malfunctions and suffer from an acute lack of common sense having to hang around you all the time?

My DH has a slight stammer. DS talks without one.

MrsTwinks · 15/06/2011 15:54

as someone else who also has/had a speech impediment as a kid can i please kill slap your SIL..

Seriously thou, I doubt it. I mean shes going to hear other people than you right? Think of all those kids who grow up with a local accent but whos parents speak with a totally different one like scots or irish parents with a kid with a cockney accent.

Numberfour · 15/06/2011 15:54

This has my head reeling. I have as little to do with her as possible, Teela.

Numberfour · 15/06/2011 15:55

oops .... I WOULD have as little to do with her as possible if I were you, OP.

EndangeredSpecies · 15/06/2011 15:55

I bet you won't stammer at all with your baby and so the "problem" will not arise as you will feel happy and completely relaxed in its company. Unfortunate that this person is your SIL Sad

IHateMarlo · 15/06/2011 15:56

Next time she mentions it and she sounds like the type that will just point out that the Queen doesn't stammer does she, and King George did, In fact there's a film about it Smile. And then regal sweep out of the room and ignore her.

agedknees · 15/06/2011 15:57

Wow, also. What a nasty cow she sounds.

Your babies language will not be affected. Just think Queen Elizabeth - her dad had a stammer. She was not affected.

Where does your sil live? Can I come over and punch her on the nose?

kennypowers · 15/06/2011 15:57

First off, you're right...she's a bitch.

Second, a quick google (stammering hereditary) has revealed that unfortunately, your child may pick up a stammer as well. Obviously there are things you can do to counteract this, but I would guess this would involve speech therapy (if required) early on. Don't stress about it but get looking at what's on-line to put your mind at ease.

I would point out to evil bitch SIL though, that a stammer is a minor problem in the great scheme of things, it can be overcome and whether your child has one or not, they will be a much loved child who will never turn out to be an unsympathetic and mean-spirited witch like her auntie.

BelleDameSansMerci · 15/06/2011 15:58

Fucking hell!! What a cow. I thought mine was bad...

I've no experience but found this online. Hope it's helpful. I think, from what it says, that children often have a developmental stammer. Please, please don't worry about it.

And, congratulations too on your pregnancy. Smile

IgnoringTheChildren · 15/06/2011 16:01

OP your SIL is a fucking ignorant bitch (at best - I'm not convinced she isn't actually evil!) I hope that someone can suggest a sufficiently cutting put down for if she has the nerve to mention this again! Angry

ReindeerBollocks · 15/06/2011 16:02

You were right the first time - she is evil.

Ignore her at all costs.

kazmus · 15/06/2011 16:03

wow! what a sad woman, she obviously has issues somewhere and is to be pitied. YANBU and you will have no problems with your precious baby, and even if you do, just sing lots of lovely songs, people tend to not stammer when they sing and baby will hear wealth of songs as well!

friendcat · 15/06/2011 16:03

How bloody insensitive. EndangeredSpecies is right. You baby won't stammer, because I bet you anything when you speak to your baby, you won't stammer you might say some absolutely ridiculous things that you would only say to your baby and never in other people earshot, but I guarantee you won't need to stammer when talking to your baby. My stammer occasionally comes out when I'm screaming at telling off my older ones, but definitely not with little ones, and anyway, your baby will love you unconditionally. Don't fear.

feggyart · 15/06/2011 16:05

she deserves no response. next timne she says something so cruel just stare at her till she looks away.

YANBU.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 15/06/2011 16:06

What a bitch!!

Does she have an DC? If so just say something like "well you are a complete twat but your DS/DD turned out ok!" Something like that would shut her up!

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 15/06/2011 16:07

sorry - and of yourse YANBU and your baby will be fine, as are you!!

FreudianSlipper · 15/06/2011 16:07

what a bitch, ignore her

i would not have thought so, if you child does seeing a speech therapist early on will help.

its not worth worry about something until there is something to actually worry about

enjoy your pregnancy you have a the most wonderful time ahead of you

Mishy1234 · 15/06/2011 16:08

Dear me, she really is a piece of work isn't she!

Avoid her as much as you can I say.

Ephiny · 15/06/2011 16:09

What an incredibly rude and stupid thing to say Shock. Even if it was true, what are you supposed to do, never speak in earshot of your child while she's growing up?

I don't know the answer to your question, but from what others have said above, it doesn't sound like you have anything to worry about!

slug · 15/06/2011 16:11

As suggested elsewhere on Mumsnet. The next time she makes a similar comment stare at her fixedly for a little while, possibly with a slightly puzzled expression, then say

"Did you mean to sound so ignorant and rude?"

ExitPursuedByAKitten · 15/06/2011 16:11

BITCH. Someone else has already mentioned the Queen. I am sure your baby will be fine.

Pancakeflipper · 15/06/2011 16:15

I don't know if your child is more or less likely to have a stammer because you have one.

But I'd happily bet your SIL a small amount of dosh that if any kid of yours developed a speech issue, they'd have the finest parental support and empathy a child can have.

Don't dwell on this OP. Don't let it cast any sort of shadow on your pregnancy and your joy of having a child.

We all think of the perfect baby. Then they turn up and they aren't perfect. Some issues are spotted early, some much later. And it doesn't matter cos we love them so much by then we will fight the fight for them and with them.