Please read I cant even think of a title.

[LilQueenie]

First of all I apologise if this is the wrong place for this. I honestly dont know where to put it and I have just read through all the topics available.

Basically DPs brother has been banned from going anywhere near me and my unborn child. This is due to constant ranting, threats, intimidation, violence and basically being a pain n the arse. He does have a mental health issue but has been babied therefore accepts no responsibility. Baby is due in 2 weeks and Ive been told there is a possibility DPs brother will do something. Not sure what exactly but possibly involving social services at some point. I had a thought of contactng them of my HV and letting them know of that possibillity. I hate the thought he may do this and I have social services breathing down my neck for no reason. I cant relax and Im dreading the baby coming now. :( Any advice please.

ok was typing a reply when the laptop shut down for some reason. From what I know its not genetic. It was caused by a brain injury at 3yrs old. I did speak to my midwife and she put down a note. However I shouldnt worry as any call to ss will result in HIM being investigated first and I probably wouldnt even realise it had happened as it wouldnt go any further.

I would move far far away at the first opportunity. It just isn't worth staying around.

True but it would mean leaving my DP and him not seeing his child. I cant do that to him. However it is a possibility if things do start to escalate.

Can't you move away as a family? Nothing matters more than your safety and the right you have to live in peace. When this baby comes, you really won't need this hassle. I would be concerned that it's going to cause you so much stress it's going to affect you and ruin what should be a lovely time for you.

cant move as a family as he cant sell the house. Or rather wont as its an old house and he thinks its an investment. Might be if his brother hadnt found it for him and it actually had heating and non faulty plumbing system.

Do you feel there is a possibility that you could be in physical danger from this man at any point? Because if it's just pain in the arse gobbing off that's one thing, but if there is any chance at all that you could be at risk, then you have got to act.

LilQueenie - I feel for you, I really do.
I am in a similar but nothing like as bad situation as you - DH's brother lives with MIL 15 mins up the road and has a drink problem, plus social problems even when not drunk - but no actual mental disease, so he can't be medicated. And even if he was, he wouldn't take them because he thinks he's fine, it's everyone else. His sense of entitlement is colossal as well.

We actuall have a restraining order on him, keeping him away from our property and if we go to MIL's and he has been drinking, technically he has to leave as he is not allowed near our DS (or DH for that matter) with alcohol on board.

MIL is a PITA about it all but I think she feels guilty for "creating the monster" by not being strong enough with him - she lets him get away with all sorts and just continues having him live with her, even though it means we rarely go there in case he's there.

Sounds like your DP's parents feel guilty about the injury; and that your DP can't leave because he feels the need to be there for his parents (understandable).

I thikn though you have to do what is right for you and your baby. I was "lucky" in that the police themselves pushed through the restraining order against BIL - DH was going to withdraw it if possible because it "upset his mum" but the police told DH he'd be done himself, possibly for contempt, can't remember if he even tried it, becasue DS was involved.

So far, DH has managed to do the right thing re. calling the police etc. - I would find it very difficult to do it if he didn't want me to though so I can see your dilemma there - but you have to log your concerns with someone and try to get a restraining order against him so that he cannot come near you nor your baby, whenever he/she is born.

Good luck - it's a horrible position to be in.:(

thank you thumbwitch. I dont go to their house because of it all and also becuase as a hoarder you literally cant walk without banging into something. When DP still lived there it was chaos all the time. The police were called frequently for the temper of his brother. So yes he can be violent but Im told he wont hit a woman or child. Trash as far as I am concerned. He keeps ranting how much he hates me. Dp says he is just a ranter and thats all but if the police were routinely called I know otherwise. I have cut all contact with him. At the moment baby and i will be in my flat with security so bit safer but His brother knows not to come to my house and so far its stayed that way. Jsut no one knows how he will react when baby is born. At the moment Ive been told he doesnt want to be left out but he was aware he wouldnt be near baby since christmas and told everyone he understood.

if dp doesn't put the safety of your dc first, you must. if you have to move away... then do so. i would seriously consider telling the police that bil has threatened violence. they can put a marker on your property I think to respond quickly. talk to them. find out hat you can do to protect yourself.