At my 39 week MW app. there was a SMW, I had met twice, present. She asked how I was and asked for a favor. As a nurse, I had an inkling, it would be about writing an essay on me. She said she had to write an essay on ante-natal care and as I had moved hospital trusts mid pregnancy, she thought she could base it on the difference in notes. I said, yes immediately, didnt mind at all!
She then said, it would involve coming to my house for a chat, pre and post labor- I dont really mind that, chance for a rant...but then said she would be present at labor. I asked " what if I go into labour in the middle of the night?"
She said, "call me- Ill be there" and then put a note on my file, asking the ward to call her when in labour.
I called my DH on the way home and he said, he wasnt really 'feeling it' and by this point, I wasnt either. I dont mind students being present at birth, but I wasnt sure to what extent she actually meant.
She came round the next day and I vowed to be assertive, to ask her straight and tell her how we felt. I asked how this works, as it was our first baby, we would like it to be just us two- sje did NOT take the hint, and sold herself even more- for which she said-
" This will be really good for you, as you will get 121 care- I can be there as much as you want, all the time- if your DH needs a break, I can sit with you and if your on the ward and DH had to go home, I cant sit and talk you through the pain" She then told me a storey of how good she was with a patient, who in the end only wanted her there and not her family and because of her expertise-needed no pain intervention!
She then spent 90 minutes at my house, telling me about her DH, DC, 30 up coming birthday- saying, she felt if I was going to open up- it was only right she should!?????????????????????????? I couldnt give a shit!
Then she said her friend works on mat ward, and I should request her for care!!! How can I do that, if she is already caring for a patient- I wouldnt do that in a million years!
After she left, I stuck my own note on my file, asking the hosptial to ask me, when she should be called.
At my next MW appt, she saw this- and asked why I had put it on my notes- I told her it was our first baby and I didnt want to watched all the way through. My MW explained she would only be shadowing the MW who cares for me....fair enough- but this is one pushy FIRST YEAR- yes FIRST year student! She was even feeling my belly when at home and asked if I wanted her to teach DH how to feel for baby!!! Is this right????
Anyway- lat night, she text asking if anything was happening (now 41 wks) and what time my next MW appoitment is- I told her 16pm, and she replied-
" oh, if I wasnt at Uni, I would offer to come with you!" I dont want her to come with me! I want her to back off- I only agreed she could write an essay on me!!!! Now I feel like she is my fucking partner or something. Im so close to loosing it with her and dont want the stress when Im in labour..
Im not seeing my normal MW today (so she told me) so who do I talk to, what do I say, without making it awkward for both of us, when in labour!
AIBU????????