to think the book how not to f*** them up is awful

[tvmum1976]

I'm sure that this has been discussed a lot in the past (I am pretty new to motherhood and mumsnet...) but have just read this book and find it unbelievably judgemental, sexist, and full of rubbish.
Sorry, had to vent.

Ah, hadn't noticed the date!

The OP's dc will be well on their way to adulthood, and I'm sure she hasn't fucked them up!
@tvmum1976

I dislike on principle a man writing a book advising women on how to be better parents. Hiding behind the euphemistic 'primary carer' when we know this typically means mother, doesn't wash.
If this person has anything useful to say, he would be better targeting it towards men (Secondary or even tertiary carer?)
He could use his experience as a man to engage with other men, rather than stray out of his lane to talk about being a mother. Plus its typically 'secondary carers' (dads) who are in greater need of parenting advice.

Yeah, I do. Does that somehow make the feelings and opinions expressed any less valid?

You don’t understand attachment theory if you think it means mothers shouldn’t go to work. That isn’t how it works. Attachment theory explains how secure bonds form when a caregiver is responsive, loving and consistent. It’s not when they are with the child 24/7
It does not say women shouldn’t work. Children thrive when caregivers (mother, father, grandparent, nursery staff) provide warmth, stability, and sensitive interaction. What matters is quality of care, not the caregiver’s gender or whether the mother works outside the home.

This man is probably knowingly using the theory to sell books and get famous by putting women down.