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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being unreasoble in thinking this is descrimination against parents?

91 replies

CarmenJ · 14/06/2011 15:10

Hi Mums,

Cosmo in Croydon are discriminating against people with small children and I don?t see why in 2011, England, they are being allowed to get away with it! My niece was invited to a Birthday meal with her friends. She has a toddler and has been told that she has to pay for him to have a separate meal whether he eats it or not. He is not allowed to eat from her plate, or not eat Cosmo's food at all. Well they might as well be saying to parents stay away with your children (especially those with more than one child)! My niece has been told if she doesn?t pay her group will not be seated.

In the current financial climate I think parents have enough to pay for without being forced to pay for something they don?t need. Can anyone tell me how this discrimination is possible in the UK in this day and age?

OP posts:
herbietea · 14/06/2011 16:53

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fgaaagh · 14/06/2011 16:55

CarmenJ, do a search on my posts. I've been here, under various guises, for years.

Unless you think I've registered in advance years ago just in case some random mum nutter decided to slag off my establishment Hmm - regardless of what you think, you're taking the piss. I see it as a consumer who's never owned a restaurant, and I see it as a mum - frankly, if I saw someone complaining about this in my family, or in the restaurant, I'd be embrassed for them. I did waitress for 2 years at uni and I saw parents like you.

It's cringe-worthy.

I hate parents like you, tbh - giving us all a bad name with these stupid, nonsensical demands really.

Original poster
CarmenJ · 14/06/2011 16:56

I agree that if the toldler eats it's parent should pay. I've always paid for my children. I don't think if the child doesn't eat, the parent should pay. My neice is still going, but she's going to pay for a small meal for him.

OP posts:
fgaaagh · 14/06/2011 17:00

Right, but these buffet places operate with less staff than a normal restaurant. often, the guy seating families will be the one operating the till at the front (that's my experience, i realise they might not all be the same).

it's unlikely he will be able to see if the child has eaten or not. it's impossible for his clearup staff to verify it either.

what you're asking isn't practical (to let a child in and promise they won't eat anything) in these places.. sorry!

t0lk13n · 14/06/2011 17:01

I`ve never heard of the restaurant.

Nixea · 14/06/2011 17:02

Mountains and molehills come to mind. I love the fact that this in no way affects you and yet your incredibly determined to make it into a personal grievance.

I think you've tried so damn hard to get offended by this that we should all leave you to it - after all, you're not actually interested in other peoples' opinions except as a tool to get more worked up over it.

Groovee · 14/06/2011 17:03

Crown carveries don't allow you to have a side plate either. I mostly bought meals for my children once they turned one anyway.

TheFlyingOnion · 14/06/2011 17:03

Jesus Carmen, so actually, its a non-issue?

What a waste of fucking time

Original poster
CarmenJ · 14/06/2011 17:04

I've got three teens who love the restaurant. They say it has great seafood, but I've never been myself. Don't want to be surrounded by shrieking teenagers!

OP posts:
TheFlyingOnion · 14/06/2011 17:06

fucks sake Carmen maybe other people don't want to be surrounded by freeloading squawking babies

you were really bored this afternoon weren't you?

Original poster
CarmenJ · 14/06/2011 17:09

I was ust asking if Iwas being unreasonable in thinking it was descriminatory, just canvassing opinions, I didn't actually say I was worked up over it. There are far more important things in life to get worked up over.

OP posts:
MollyMurphy · 14/06/2011 17:12

fagaah - well I of course wouldn't advocate for poor behaviour at a restaurant ever and as I added above I don't think its acceptable to share a buffet plate....but this restaurant does allow children and is benefiting monitarily from a big group coming so I can't see fussing about one kid not eating is all I am saying.

From a business standpoint it would seem silly to say if this toddler doesn't eat then we decline to take your money for the rest of the group please go elsewhere. I don't know the cost but I would imagine a party group market could be lucrative. It would all depend on the figures I guess.

I agree the OP should go elsewhere next time if this is an issue for her.

TheFlyingOnion · 14/06/2011 17:15

well then yes, YABU.

Original poster
CarmenJ · 14/06/2011 17:21

Flying Onion I was bored, but this has really lifted my day. All this emotion!

OP posts:
GetOrf · 14/06/2011 17:22

lol at the madness Grin

GetOrf · 14/06/2011 17:23

I love this bit "They're just beneath the radar for now but they'll get stung"

That really made me laugh.

TheFlyingOnion · 14/06/2011 17:24

yup, bored too.

Do what you like.

Or rather, tell your sister/friend/whoever to do what she likes cos actually, its got nothing to do with you...

Original poster
CarmenJ · 14/06/2011 17:26

I'm off to cook dinner for everyone now. Thanks for taking my mind off life for a few hours :O you guys are great!

OP posts:
TattyDevine · 14/06/2011 17:31

Right, Carmen, did you know there is a Fish and Chip restaurant in Aldeburgh that does not allow children under the age of 8? There's a whopping great big sign at the door saying "no children under the age of 8". Its not even licenced.

There used to be a bathroom tat ornaments shop in Colchester that had a "no pushchairs" sign but they removed it because they were sick of getting abuse from people who would come in and give them a mouthful!

Both of them seem terribly bad and yes, it is discriminating, or in fact being selective in who they want buying their goods and services. But that is their right. I don't think they can say no women, no black people, etc but they are certainly allowed to exclude children.

GetOrf · 14/06/2011 17:32

I am presuming that you are being sarcastic and think that we are all a bunch of arseholes but this thread has made me laugh.

It has also reminded me of an family huffing and puffing argument because I refused to go to Angel Chef for a sunday lunch as I said 'I am not paying money to eat off melamine plates, I want chinese food served on china' and being called an insufferable snob. Ha!

greenbananas · 14/06/2011 17:36

I can understand why some restaurants insist that toddlers do not eat for free at a buffet meal. However, I do agree with the OP that it's unfair if the toddler is genuinely not eating.

At one 'family-friendly' eatery, we had to pay for our 1 year old son to have a toddler meal even though he has severe multiple food allergies (anaphylaxis) and there was nothing he could eat on the menu (the restaurant reluctantly agreed to heat up the food I had brought in their microwave and then charged us for a toddler meal anyway).

herbietea · 14/06/2011 17:49

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exoticfruits · 14/06/2011 17:51

If someone of any age is 'genuinely not eating' they shouldn't be in a restaurant (unless a baby)

emptyshell · 14/06/2011 17:51

If discrimination = not getting a free feed... then yes it's discriminating. So basically - no it's not and it's probably had a load of pisstakers absolutely taking a lend of it all (I remember watching a guy carefully extend the reach of his Pizza Hut salad buffet outwards building rim on rim of sliced cucumber to feed about 6 people from it once) that have ruined it for everyone else.

They're who to blame - but nope it's so much easier to blether on about "rights" and "discrimination" when it basically translates to "I'm not having my own way waaaaah"

Jux · 14/06/2011 17:55

So if the party were booked into Le Gavroche you would expect them to allow a toddler to eat their own sandwiches with the packing all over the place, and probably the child running about after he's got bored of sitting around, and asking for things to do because he's bored mummy, quite possibly wailing as well. Or do you think they would provide chicken nuggets and chip?

Some restaurants are fine with kids, some aren't. Don't take kids to the ones which aren't.