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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being unreasoble in thinking this is descrimination against parents?

91 replies

CarmenJ · 14/06/2011 15:10

Hi Mums,

Cosmo in Croydon are discriminating against people with small children and I don?t see why in 2011, England, they are being allowed to get away with it! My niece was invited to a Birthday meal with her friends. She has a toddler and has been told that she has to pay for him to have a separate meal whether he eats it or not. He is not allowed to eat from her plate, or not eat Cosmo's food at all. Well they might as well be saying to parents stay away with your children (especially those with more than one child)! My niece has been told if she doesn?t pay her group will not be seated.

In the current financial climate I think parents have enough to pay for without being forced to pay for something they don?t need. Can anyone tell me how this discrimination is possible in the UK in this day and age?

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 14/06/2011 16:24

I do 'yawn' with the Italy one. You can't have it both ways-they would soon complain if strangers touched their DC the way they do in Italy! Over here it is 'love my DC but don't touch and don't interact and certainly don't tell them off!'

GetOrf · 14/06/2011 16:25

Carmen - it has got bugger all to do with men only clubs letting in women.

They haven't banned the children, you great gullah. They just want their parents to pay for a meal instead of being tightarsed.

The tightarsed parents are welcome at delightful establishments such as pizza hut and Hungry Horse.

LaurieFairyCake · 14/06/2011 16:26

EH???? Confused

It's a BUFFET - you are spectacularly missing the point - if I took dd when she was 3 she would have yummed up a load of food - are you seriously suggesting that the children should eat for free??

Why?

GetOrf · 14/06/2011 16:28

Have just had a look at Cosmo website - looks like one of those all you can eat buffet hellholes like Real China.

They have got to charge everyone because I imagine some families have tried it on in the past, with loads of kids eating their fill from one paid-for plate.

Personally, I would very much appreciate being discriminated against eating somewhere like that! All you can eat buffets are shit.

TheFlyingOnion · 14/06/2011 16:29

The OP has got herself worked up into a lather; yet another AIBU where everyone tells OP she IS BU, however the OP Simply Won't Have It.

OP I suggest you google the meaning of the word "discrimination"

Oh, and "tightarsed"

heleninahandcart · 14/06/2011 16:31

They have high chairs, you can book these. Implies family friendly. Possibly not quite so amenable to people wanting to eat at the buffet and pass out free food to DCs. Can just imagine the response of other diners who have paid.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 14/06/2011 16:31

I've checked their website, and whilst a child under 150cms in height is going to be charged £7.50, they do also mention a minimum charge, usually £3. If they want to charge £7.50 for a toddler who is hardly going to eat anything, that would seem a bit unreasonable to me. However, if they are going to apply the minimum charge (which they well do, if asked politely), then that doesn't seem terribly unreasonable or too much to ask your relative to pay, Carmen.

GetOrf · 14/06/2011 16:31

Yeah, and restaurant.

Cos Cosmo aint one. It is a holding pen for hungry plebs.

DogsBestFriend · 14/06/2011 16:33

What Bucharest said. And GerOrf said.

YABU - the establishment doesn't have to allow children at all but as it does it expects that their food/seat is paid for. Its proprietors were probably sick to the back teeth/repulsed by the thought of tens of starbucks-coffee-meeting-going mummies descending upon it and paying for 10 meals whilst their roaming, whinging toddlers eat at the buffet for free and piss other diners off.

DogsBestFriend · 14/06/2011 16:36

BTW Cosmos sounds bloody awful, children charged for or not. YABU for even taking an interest in going there too.

Original poster
CarmenJ · 14/06/2011 16:38

Mens clubs were forced to let in women. The men must have argued that they wanted to eat without shrieking women everywhere. Anyway they let in teenagers and that in itself is amazing I suppose. They're just beneath the radar for now but they'll get stung.

OP posts:
SheCutOffTheirTails · 14/06/2011 16:40

So children must be allowed everywhere that women go, but it's OK for men to have exclusive clubs?

MissPenteuth · 14/06/2011 16:41

Whether the OP is BU or not, that's no reason to get snobby about where she and her friends want to eat. As far as buffet-style restaurants go, it doesn't look too bad to me, from the website anyway.

TheFlyingOnion · 14/06/2011 16:42

Children are allowed into the restaurant Carmen - are you being deliberately obtuse?

I'm confused by your last post Confused

Ormirian · 14/06/2011 16:43

No it isn't discrimination. They do what the market will bear and maybe they have realised that they make more money out of child-free people than those with children - not suprising as they will probably buy more booze. I think it's a shame as I like seeing children out and about with their families but it's the company's decision to make. Not discrimation.

fgaaagh · 14/06/2011 16:43

Wait a second, why are you linking women with children? Why is something which is discriminatory towards children, automatically discriminating against women?

Last time I looked my husband was a parent too. And, shock horror, there are some days where he has full primary carer responsibility.

And anyway, it's not discriminatory anyway. It's a fucking buffet. It's normal to expect a child to pay, otherwise how can they police it?

And if you don't like the prices or attitude, just go elsewhere. It's a business, it can target whichever market it likes. Simple as that.

Essentially: stupid OP is stupid!

Talk about posting on here to try and poke some bad press around. Backfired much?

MollyMurphy · 14/06/2011 16:45

Well, to go against the grain....YANBU. Its a group and everyone else is paying - why nit pick about one kid not eating? I wouldn't want to be so dictated to personally.

If you don't like the restaurants policies the best way to address it is to give management feedback and then take your business elsewhere.

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 14/06/2011 16:48

They charge a flat rate for all you can eat, with a lower rate for children. Your niece want to take her child and feed her child from her plate (free refills) rather than paying the child's price for him.

That doesn't make them guilty of discrimination, it makes your niece cheap.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 14/06/2011 16:48

Well - if they allow one toddler to eat for free, they will have to let all toddlers eat for free, and that is a very different matter, isn't it, Molly?

Carmen - do they want to charge the toddler the full £7.50 childrens price, or the £3 minimum charge?

Bucharest · 14/06/2011 16:48

Molly- I've looked at this place now as well, and Getorf is right. It's one of those horrific bellybuster eat as much as you want as long as its on one plate places.So betcha that loads of people were piling their own weight in grub onto that one plate and feeding all the kids off it.
How very uncouth.

exexpat · 14/06/2011 16:49

What on earth has this got to do with men or women only clubs?

Cosmo is an all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant. You pay per person on entry (reduced charge for children, not sure what the policy is on unweaned babies - but that's not the issue here), then help yourself to food.

Why on earth should they let children of eating age in without paying, when they will end up eating from their parents' plates? I've seen tiny kids in the local Cosmo eating more than an adult, when they are let loose on the ice cream and chocolate fountain section.

If you were complaining that a restaurant with normal menus, which charges per menu item, was insisting that a 3-year-old ordered an adult main course, that would be different.

MollyMurphy · 14/06/2011 16:49

I will add though that I don't think that child should be able to eat off your plate at a buffet however. Not eating - fine, eating yours not so much.

exexpat · 14/06/2011 16:51

And FWIW it is always packed with families with small children when I go past.

Original poster
CarmenJ · 14/06/2011 16:51

fgaaagh you misunderstand the point. I did say "parents" in relation to the issue of taking a child to a restaurant and being forced to pay whether the child eats or not. Te second point referring to men's clubs is simply that clubs, restaurants, shops, etc are forced to be tolerant. You seem very heated. Don't manage the branch by any chance do you?

If you're worried about bad press don't be as I said earlier, this will probably attract more business.

OP posts:
fgaaagh · 14/06/2011 16:52

MollyMurphy, "nit picking" about one child eating - where does it end?

Have you any idea of how a business operates and the hassle that would entail? What if the diners expected it next time? What if the group is one of those where they think it's appropriate to leave mess under the table, food squashed into the seats - and that "free" child ends up costing them more in staff cleanup time, bad impression on other diners?

How hard is it to ask for a price list - if you don't fucking like the prices or charging policies, just go elsewhere.

I'm not sure how many restaurants, no matter how family friendly, would allow the "odd" child in for free now and then. It sort of is the exact opposite of what they're trying to achieve from a business POV (transparent charging, staff not having to put too much effort into writing up what everyone had like in a normal restaurant, quick service, etc).