to phone DHs boss and tell him to fuck right off

[ThatVikRinA22]

DH has worked for the same employers for over 15 years, but been with the company 20, his boss took over 15 years ago.

he has been manager for 15 years.

lately, his boss has been nit picking at every single thing, second guessing his decisions, pulling him down in front of colleagues, belittling him, phoning him at home out of work hours, even phoning him about work the day of his fathers funeral a few weeks ago....) that sort of thing. The company is struggling, and i am wondering if they are trying to get DH to leave to save his wage. Last time this happened DH asked boss if he was after his notice to which he replied that was for him to decide....

last week an employee asked for a weeks holiday - dh said no problem - this employee has just had a cancer scare, DH covers holiday leave which means he has this week had to go in and cover 2 night shifts, which is what he has done for the last 20 years - nothing different to normal. They pulled him apart about this decision last week - saying it was too short notice to allow the employee the holiday leave - DH said it wasnt as it wouldnt cause any problems at all - and it hasnt. No one else was off and the employee is entitled to his annual leave - so dh let him have it. no problems.

today, his boss stooped to a new low. He called him at home, this morning (dh had been working all night and is in again tonight) and i could hear him yelling and shouting at DH. DH stayed calm and asked what the problem was. he got no answer, just more incoherent ranting, again he asked what the problem was - boss shouts that he should be at work, NOW. DH tried to explain that he was covering nights - he got shouted down again (i could hear all this as his boss was shouting so loudly) it angered me so much i started shouting, asking what the hell he thought he was doing phoning DH at home? (i know his boss really well as i used to work there - he is a bully boy, and i left after a couple of years of it - i threw something at him and walked after he did the same thing to me in front of a shop full of people)

He had absolutely no need to do this. DH said he couldnt carry on like this, his boss raged some more and put the phone down. DH has absolutely no idea what any of it was about. I suspect something had maybe gone wrong and he was looking for his whipping boy - ie - my dh

I am still so annoyed about it. I am sure that they are doing their best to get DH to walk or give notice. He is close to going. I advised getting signed off but he wont do that - work ethic and all that - he has only taken 4 days sick in 20 years.
If they drive him out im thinking this is constructive dismal? He is doing nothing differently to the last 15 years that they have happily let him run his dept. He has no pay rise in the last 5 years. He works like a trooper, does exactly what is required and nothing has altered except their attitude toward him.

I want to phone the fuckwit up. preferably in the dead of night when he is sleeping and see how he likes being woken by a ranty fucker...i am being unreasonable no?

i know it wont help but omg i would feel better...

Get onto the emploment issues section, they have some amazing HR bods

YANBU - but don't do it!

Check your home insurance - it often covers legal fees, including for this kind of situation. And get legal advice ASAP.

cheers all

i know he needs to be getting some legal advice asap....especially as they are also talking about renegotiating his contract due to the increase in national minimum wage - hardly his fault.

i will ask him to start to keep a diary, and look into whether my own insurance would cover some time with a legal eagle in employment law. i know for fact that the mention of this alone would get his bosses blood pressure up a bit - he is terrified of legal action.

ive told dh he should get signed off but he wont - he says he would never go back. i understand that, but my intention is that he doesnt. i wish i could put a bit of fire in his belly sometimes - he is so placid, its hard for me to see him being so abused and do nothing.

i may try and link to this thread in employment.

I agree with all the others who've said that your DH is not 'just' a baker - he's an experienced manager who has overhauled and run a specialist business in the upmarket food sector. If he starts looking for work, he should consider a much wider range of jobs than simply bakery.

At the very least your DH surely could get a job in a local authority as a senior Environmental Health Officer. He surely has all the necessary qualifications and will be reasonably well paid stable job to which he can bring huge experience.

Firstly, I am sorry to hear this... It's rubbish... and yes, they're trying to make him walk, so they don't have to pay redundancy. My own boss did this to me in 2005... made my life a misery, belittled me, shouted at me, I worked longest hours of all, was paid most of all as had been there for many years etc... your story rings so true to me. I was made redundant and set up my own business and have NEVER looked back. Needless to say my business is going strong after all these years... the company closed down a few months after my departure back then...

Seriously... we spend so many hours of our day at work... it's crucial to do something you enjoy/love... or at the very least, are appreciated for. Your husband is loyal and deserves better. Can you both not set up a business from home? Making all kinds of things... even things like cupcakes perhaps.. they are all the rage it seems. Supplying freshly made goodies to other shops?

As he's been ground down and thinks he can only do minimum wage bakery jobs, perhaps you could find him some sort of course/CV advisor who could convince him of what the rest of us see, which is that he has transferable skills? He may need his eyes opening to other ideas.

Just because there is no union representation in your dh's workplace, doesn't mean that he can't join a union.

There's the Bakers, Food & Allied Workers union but I'd recommend Unite as it's one of the largest and has the most clout www.unitetheunion.org/

A friend was in a not dissimilar position; within a few weeks of joining Unite she called upon their services. She maintains that her union sub was the best money she ever spent, and she's got no intention of ever letting her membership lapse.

Can he do some kind of management buy out? Do you have enough money to do this? He could buy this business from the husband and wife and they might jump at the chance. He will be in a position to know if he can make a profit with this or not.

Maybe he can get a business loan or you might be able to find some investors (know any rich people)?

thanks again everyone, the support on here is invaluable - i felt like marching round to the work place yesterday and shoving a french stick where the sun dont shine....

honestly - i dont get enraged often but i did yesterday....ive calmed down a bit since then - thought id better have a glass of wine or my blood pressure might have gone through the roof!

i linked this thread in employment but didnt get any posts. I told DH i had put a thread on here and it may be an idea for him to have read - i think he has become institutionalised, he simply doesnt know what else to do.

i dont think going into business ourselves is such a great idea at the min - its something we considered twice before - but the initial outlay is huge, the risks are equally huge and doing anything from home would be a logistical nightmare - health and safety, food hygiene rules and regulations all rule that out really....buying his current boss out isnt an option either unless he has a few million in the bank...what started as a small family bakery become huge, swallowing up local competitors and while the actual bakery is tiny, they supply lots of business locally etc...i dont think the business is in dire straits as much as they pretend, the owners certainly live the good life, surely the brand new merc a year each would go first? i dont know. i think they are simply pulling a fast one. they told DH they have to lose either one full timer or 2 part timers....i reckon they are after DH job and wage without the hassle of paying him off.
so
he has to consider i think what his options are, it seems staying put and hoping for the best isnt one of them.
i am going to try and get some advice (legal) for him, but wanted to say thankyou for letting me rant on here - i actually went running to try and work some of my anger out - it didnt work! i came back as enraged as i started...couldnt sleep last night either. its just so unjust.
anyway....need to work out what to do next. ranting isnt going to solve this!

"...i dont think the business is in dire straits as much as they pretend, the owners certainly live the good life, surely the brand new merc a year each would go first?"

er don't you think that is part of the problem here? that's an insane use of cash

please have a serious cold look at jobs - not just the basic ones - with your DH's ACTUAL skills & CV in mind, and I think you'll be surprised at what is out there. He is p[roably suffering from Stockholm Syndrome at the moment, while you are most certainly not.

make them pay for this, plan to exit at the worst time, costing them the most amount of cash & reputation - work out how to stitch them up & inconvenience them the most, use your running times wisely

If your dh is willing to then I do think him phoning acas for some advice would be a good plan, to at least know what they can and can't do to him or get him to agree to.

Your DH should def see an employment lawyer. Many will do a free half hour's advice or a quick chat over the phone. If the MD is as scared of legal action as you think, they may negotiate a settlement just to avoid the claim.

It does sound like they're trying to make him jump I'm afraid, but he might well have a claim for constructive dismissal.

New Mercs every year is, as someone pointed out upthread, often the root of the problem. Sounds like the business has over stretched itself in the last few years with acquisitions and I bet the bank borrowings are very high.

I'm a lawyer, but not an employment lawyer - where are you based, I might be able to make a recommendation.

thank you that would be wonderful to be able to get some advice.

We are in Yorkshire, i can easily get to York, Hull, Sheffield, Scunthorpe, Doncaster, or Rotherham.

VicarInaTutu. Apologies now if you know all of this already...

Sounds like your DH has a lot to be confident about/ proud of: "he completely re organised the whole system there, re planned the whole bakery," etc; this is the sort of thing that'll make him stand out from the rest when applying for jobs - and not necessarily craft bakery jobs. Sounds to me like he has loads of transferable management skills.

Truly hope he gets a new job soon - he deserves it. And his bullying current employers deserve to fall flat on their faces! Which, by the sounds of it, they will do as soon as he leaves. This would be the best "fuck off" ever.

oops! I'm new to this VicarInaTutu. and didn't see the most recent posts. Sorry - and good luck!

Sorry Vicar I am at the other end of the country, so I can't recommend anyone. You can use the yellow pages - solicitors aren't like cowboy builders, they won't charge a call out fee :-)

Any decent solicitor will speak to your DH over the phone and tell him whether it's worth taking it further.

Hope you get some useful advice.

thanks anyway.
he is so tired of it all. They want the impossible from him, they are unreasonable, ranty bastards at the best of times, i use to share an office with her....had to close my ears when she started on her lone parent or benefit claimants rants....they are nasty pieces of work.

he works so hard, awful hours, goes in at the drop of a hat to sort out anything - staff always phone him, never the bloody owners, he brings the figures home to work on, sorts out the schedules and staffing rotas, goes in on his so called bloody day off to do the clock cards....they have just got so used to abusing him they cant see that he is a good, decent, hardworking loyal member of staff, they just take everything out on him and have now seriously started to expect him to come up with magic answers on how to make the numbers work, he has never ever failed them in anything they asked of him, he works more and more hours to cover staff that have left and havent been replaced, and im still so angry at how they are treating him. I so want him to leave, let them deal with the sodding calls all hours of the day and night, but he is quietly hard working and i think they have really really knocked his confidence to apply for other posts.
something is going to have to give though. i am stressed for him.

I have nothing to add to the advice already given - especially about your husband's many transferable skills.

But take comfort - when he does finally leave their employ, they will go down the pan at full speed.

We have two neighbours who set up a small food business in their home kitchens, and I understand it really wasn't that much hassle to get them up to meeting food safety standards (I think it involved an extra sink for handwashing but not much more). It might be worth your having a chat to the appropriate person at the council to find out what you would need to do? It would give your DH another option.