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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think when parents are out with their kids it's likely to be for a treat?

79 replies

LaWeasel · 13/06/2011 12:16

And therefore, if they are letting their kids have less than perfectly healthy food/drinks whilst out it's not a reflection of their normal diet?

OP posts:
ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 13/06/2011 12:35

Mine have coke and haribo when we're out.

I am a shit.

That is all.

Original poster
LaWeasel · 13/06/2011 12:36

Juice is actually probably the only thing that she is never allowed at home, because if I buy it she begs for it all day and she just can't digest it properly.

So it is a major treat!

Things like crisps, ice cream, chocolate are allowed at home if everyone else is having them (so fairly rarely)

OP posts:
MillyR · 13/06/2011 12:38

I can outdo your juice judging incident, LA Weasel. I was once in once in a queue in a cafe, and couldn't remember how many children's meals I had to order (as I was also ordering for the children of some friends), and the man behind me took it upon himself to point at me and shout:

"This girl doesn't even know how many children she has!"

He probably went home and reported me to the Daily Mail.

worraliberty · 13/06/2011 12:40

Juice is a normal part of every day drinking in this house..always has been.

fearnelinen · 13/06/2011 12:42

BTW Ikea is a total treat! We make a day trip out of it!

The creche, the playstations, the meatballs + jam, the wine glasses you don't mind breaking, the obligatory (loud) row 1/2way round, the £300-bill-when-you-went-in-for-a-£20-bookcase, the swedish sweets in the food hall, the ice cream machine and then the playground at the end whilst DH attempts to shove it all in the car! It's brilliant! Grin

ShushBaby · 13/06/2011 12:43

Reminds me of a woman at playgroup recently. Said playgroup provides biscuits. I smile at her baby who is tucking into one.

'Oh he's just DELIGHTED to have got his hands on a proper biscuit!' she says to my bemused face. 'At home he'd be having some sort of home made organic snack!' (said with a faux self-deprecating eye roll).

I was so sorely tempted to reply 'well mine's just had a whole Bargain Bucket so hasn't got room for a biscuit, I'll give her some wotsits on the way home instead'.

To be blunt, who gives a shit? YANBU.

thisisourtiime · 13/06/2011 12:46

My mother is a complete judgy arse and is probably horrified at my DD1s diet.

What she is too think to realise is that the only time DD1 has chips, ice cream and the like is when she is eeing her grandparents! Which only happens about once every two months. OUr rule is they can eat crap (within reason) when the grandparents are around because it makes it easy for us not to do it the rest of the time.

Bohica · 13/06/2011 12:46

nom nom chips & gravy & then I'd have the chocolate crispy cake for afters.

When we go to our local chinese buffet we always have the chocolate fountain first. I mean, who is going to enjoy their noodles & prawn crackers whilst staring at a chocolate fountain??

Oh & ice cream for breakfast every morning when on holiday because it's the law.

fearnelinen · 13/06/2011 12:47

Slushbaby, I want you to be at all my torture play groups Grin

Faux self-deprecation is always fun!

Original poster
LaWeasel · 13/06/2011 12:47

arf at Milly!

fearnelinen - yup, Ikea is amazing. We were only meant to have lunch and buy some doorsteps and there is a sofabed we failed to fit in the car being delivered tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
LaWeasel · 13/06/2011 12:47

doorsteps? I meant doorstops.

I am a rubbish fast typer, sorry.

OP posts:
fuzzpigFriday · 13/06/2011 12:49

TBH I don't really want my DCs seeing macdonalds and sweets etc as a treat - that doesn't mean they have it all the time of course, but IME by labelling it as a treat it just makes it more desirable and the object of cravings.

Not really sure about the OP but I definitely agree that you should not analyse what a family is eating when out. It might be representative of every day but it might not, so there is no good to be done by hoiking up one's judgypants.

Bohica · 13/06/2011 12:52

I can't stand waste though. When parents let children over load at a harvester salad bar or the ice cream factory in pizza hut.

You have to watch out for eyes bigger than belly syndrome in those situations imo.

killingTime · 13/06/2011 12:54

I once as a 30+ year old woman not visibly over weight at the time got told off by a pensioner for daring to pick up a small slice of cake to have with my coffee. Apparently I wasn't allowed to eat such things Hmm.

But yes DC do have things they do not have at home - sometimes because it is easier as choices are limited or they spotted the less healthy stuff and we do not fancy a public fight often because they've walked a bloody long way to get there and a sugar rush/energy boost at that point is actually a good idea.

worraliberty · 13/06/2011 12:54

Actually, in all my 19yrs as a parent I don't think I've ever been judged by a stranger over what I feed my kids?

Either that or I'm too busy picking those God awful bits of pickle out of my Big Mac to notice....

killingTime · 13/06/2011 12:58

thisisourtiime mine eat crap when the grandparents are around because they bring it into the house - they also go on about diets for our girl DC when they are in health weight ranges Angry.

Original poster
LaWeasel · 13/06/2011 13:00

I'm not sure I would have noticed if I don't have bad hearing - which sounds odd. But in a noisy situation like that I will often hear, maybe half the words in a sentence, and if I am talking to that person I have to mull it over to work out what they have said before I reply.

I heard the person muttering about juice and rotting teeth and didn't put it together until her husband got embarassed and told her to shut up, which made me want to work out what she had said, and realise it was about us!

OP posts:
allhailtheaubergine · 13/06/2011 13:03

I get judged ALL the time for not letting my ds have snack and treat foods. I usually just smile politely and say no thank you on his behalf, but I have to leap across the room and knock them out of his hand, ninja-style, sometimes. I do explain that ds has a milk allergy and can't have the lovely chocolate biscuits, but it's TOO LATE, eyes are already rolling and I am The Mother Who Won't Let Her Child Eat Crap.

My business cards read 'Professional Spoilsport'.

Once a woman who was offering chocolates round all the children got to my son and was SO affronted that he wasn't allowed one that she huffed off declaring that "Well if one's not allowed then I can't give them to anyone can I??"

superjobeespecs · 13/06/2011 13:07

im lucky that DD age 6 chooses healthy foods when we're out egg or tuna sandwich apples and grapes and a bottle of buxton :) i lead by example i eat healthily and have force fed DD healthy food from weaning so she will bloody like it encouraged DD to do the same Grin tho the other day she had hula hoops as a treat treat because the only crisps i tend to allow are walkers baked once in a blue moon.. very fussy mummy over here methinks

verytellytubby · 13/06/2011 13:14

Did you just see me in Costa? I let my 6 year old have a Fruit Shoot and TWO caramel shortbreads for lunch as he's had a month off school (routine op gone wrong) and he's totally miserable.

AgentZigzag · 13/06/2011 13:16

Allhail, are people judgy when they know your DS has an allergy though?

The woman offering the chocs was being really nice to your DS by thinking how left out he'd feel if he was the only one not having one.

She was probably only pretend huffying off and was actually really happy because she could then scoff the lot as soon as she was out of sight Grin

AgentZigzag · 13/06/2011 13:18

Your poor lad verytelly, hope he's feeling better soon Smile

NormanTebbit · 13/06/2011 13:19

I was talking to a acquaintance of mine a while ago Abkhaz had a shocking experience on holiday with another family. They were sharing a cottage and the morning they arrived the other mother asked for a quick word in private. Friend thought 'Hmm what's DS done, we've only just got here..' but apparently the other mother wanted to talk about the petit filous in the fridge, which her children were not allowed as it contained to much dugar

It was a long week.

We have bern a disgrace this w/e. Friday, DD1's Rainbows event somloads of cakes choccy bars also enjoyed by DD2(4) and DD3(2), Sat large piece of choccy cake as aunty emigrating, plus cake at playdate and then Sun went to fair and kids took full advantage of free cake at local church.

But we did make them eat some veg on Sun ( I think)

crazycanuck · 13/06/2011 13:22

I had this at the zoo once. Some twit behind me pronouncing 'No, Arabella, we don't eat rubbish do we?!' whilst eyeing up the can of coke and bag of crisps on our tray, which incidentally were DH's anyway. I was too gobsmacked to come back with a witty rejoinder.

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 13/06/2011 13:24

Let's hope she didn't see us out for lunch yesterday, dd had said, chips and beans with two, yes two, fruit shoots and choc ice cream for pud. She ate all except most of the chips and enjoyed every bit. It is certainly not what she has every day. And I don't care what anyone thinks!