To be a bit upset with hv comments?

[MenaZovut]

My son is 13 months and we just had a health review. I was asked about diet, I answered honestly:

breakfast: 2 weetabix with 6oz (neocate) milk, 1 slice toast, fruit
snack: fruit or crackers
lunch: normally warm, e.g. spag bol, washed down with fruit or cereal bar (or both). Somedays a sandwich instead if out.
snack: er....anything nearby tbh. Healthy 90% of the time but can be naughty
dinner: again cooked, similar portion (if it was jar food I'd say 1.5-2 jars) with desert of some kind.

About 8oz milk in two feeds on top of this.

Before I share her reaction...is this abnormal?

He's 19lb 2oz and had a lot of issues around food early (first solids 8 months) and weight gain (which is now steady).

My son is in 6-9 month clothes at 13 months (14 next week) and often has the baggy pants on show look minty! I was more braced for a chat about how small he is tbh.

Sounds like he knows what he needs. My DS isn't a breakfast person, so would only eat a slice of toast and a banana for example, but otherwise he goes through fazes on eating like a horse or playing with it.

I would echo what others have said. The HV was very unhelpful, as long as you are led by your son and what he needs and he isn't so podgy he doesn't fit in the high chair then leave him to it.

Breakfast sounds huge. My 6 year old couldn't eat that amount.

From the tooth decay point of view I'd watch how much fruit I was giving my baby. Cereal bars also tend to be full of sugar (in one form or another).

Try giving your baby water when your DS wants something to eat and you know they don't really need food.

Don't know if it's a very good idea to give water instead of food to an underweight baby though Journey.

It sounds like a lot but he's light and probably has a fast metabolism so I'd ignore the HV. I'd lose the cereal bars though, they're full of rubbish. Stick to the fruit instead.

Journey- he can access water whenever he wants and does. I just leave his cup at his height. He's flopped out in bouncy chair right now having some!

My Ds was very underweight ( 26 week premmie) and was tehn institutionalised for 11 months with very strict portion control so I have always since getting him home allwoed him to eat what he wanted. This ranged for worryingly little to eating huge amounts and eating until he was sick. Didn;t consult a health visitor so was able to follow social workers recommendations to allow him to relearn how to eat what he needs.

It took quite a long time to normalise but he is now five and eats normaly - is 25% for weight and height and has no food issues at all.

The only thing I would pick up on (and its minor in my opinion) is his "treats" - he really shouldn;t need treats at that age. Nice tasting food is a treat - anyfood he likes is a treat. Don;t train him into thinking that some food is differnt from other food - all food should be judged by whether it tastes nice and what it gives you. (lecture over)

The 'cereal bars' are the baby organix range and seem fine

Some HV are useless imo. When mine visited after my 4th baby she asked how I was feeding. I said breast. I told her that I had bottle fed my first 2 and then breastfed my 3rd until she was 15 months. She said bottle feeding was great for new mums because you can be sure how much they're getting!!! I said that she wasn't a massive food lover until she was 1, choosing to snack on fruit and yogurts and cheese mainly. She told me that I shouldn't be relying on breast feeding instead of weaning properly with 'proper food'! I said I planned to do the same with the baby, by doing baby led weaning at 6 months ish and breastfeeding as long as he wanted. She shook her head and said I'd never be able to keep up breastfeeding an 11lb baby! He is now 16 months. We stopped breast feeding a month ago and his appetite has gone through the roof! He eats lots, easily as much as yours is eating but he doesn't drink milk. He weighs 28lbs and is very tall. If your baby is not overweight then I don't see the problem with letting them eat when they want as long as it is mainly healthy foods.

I know it's the Daily Mail and therefore to be taking with a vast pinch of salt but

here is another example of BMI gone crazy.

Fructose and sucrose behave differently in the mouth by the way, so lots of fruit isn't too much of a worry as far as tooth decay goes if it's just pieces of fruit rather than juice we're talking about.

It's more than my DS (12 mo) eats and he was 21lbs in January! When I compare him to other boys his age he doesn't eat as much but is still heavier, the only thing I can't measure is the amount of breast milk he gets so I guess he is still taking quite a lot of that!

Your son isn't overweight so as long as he is happy eating everything I would keep the meals the same. Every child is different and the hv needs to recognise this. If he was 30lb it would be a different story!

He knows what he needs to eat. He's clearly not overweight. Just ignore the HV. You say he had problems gaining weight previously due to a mix of asthma, allergies, reflux (I've been there, done that, you have my sympathies) - I'd say that if you finally have those sorted out, he may be eating more as "catch up growth" now. Your HV sounds quite possibly dangerous to make any suggestions about limiting his intake, given his height/weight and the fact he is not being forced to eat anything.

I let him dictate his intake

He's quite clear wanting food (stealing from cupboards, climbing his high chair, pointing and making the 'food noise'

If I forget snacks he starts cup-raiding or going down my bag for treats to remind me We don't have a routine of times, he sleeps and eats at different times each day

You want my honest opinion. I think you are allowing him too much control. I would not be happy that child so young was stealing food from the cupboards.

squekytoy - the food cupboards have now been rearranged with food in the high cupboards after repeated stealing/ mess-making. HE still tries, but it's not there now. We're renting so no cupboard locks etc. to impact the deposit!

The thing is, a lot of children your son's age who are not dairy allergic will be drinking about a pint of milk a day - that is a lot of calories. Doesn't sound like he is drinking that much neonate so he'll need to take those calories in solid form.

Please don't worry about his weight (that it is too low, its obviously not too high). Ds1 had a dairy allergy and dropped from the 75 percentile to the 9th - we had him on a high calorie diet. Now at 5 he can and does drink milk and is still small and very skinny slender -as nature obviously intended him to be and I wish I could have all that wasted worry time back.

"We're renting so no cupboard locks etc. to impact the deposit!"

You can get self-adhesive ones from Ikea that fit inside the cupboard door. They don't cause any damage and you can't see them. We've rented for years now any never had any issues using them. Essential for us really as many cupboards are at toddler height here.

Thanks BMum, I really used to worry but I've stopped now. HE's happy and healthy and consistently gaining at least a little bit. No more dropping. IT's hard to get the fat in isn't it? Before I was stirring oil into his puree and spread on everything and he still lost. It's all come together now though.

Nixea, thanks for telling me that. I may invest, though to be honest it's not a big problem. He only goes for two cupboards, the food one and the phone one! Plus anything actually dangerous is in a separate room or up high.

child so young was stealing food from the cupboards

stealing? really? how is a baby 'stealing' from cupboards?

my dd is 16 months and often goes to the cupboard to help herself to some food. i tend to assume its because she's hungry...

If he likes avocado its a dream for underweight childrne. There a great recipe for mousse which from memory is avocado and oranges blended (sounds disgusting but just tastes likes creamy orange mousse)

If he's not overweight then ergo he is not eating too much food!

My DS eats that kind of quantity and he is only 12 months, or 9 months corrected (came three months early) - AND I add quantities of cream/cheese/oil to everything to bulk up calories! He has three months of weight to catch up and it makes sense to me that he needs more calories. I'm not forcing it in. For what it's worth, I asked our specialist pediatric dietician about the enormous quantities he was eating and she said go for it if that is what he wants. I expect she knows more than the HV about what she is talking about!

My DD is allergic to dairy too. Coconut milk is another good one for fat content, as are all the nut butters.

mrsravelstein, I was quoting the Op, who herself described it as "stealing".

I would be more inclined to say he is helping himself to food, which is tantamount to the same thing though.

I have never agreed with children just helping themselves to the contents of the fridge or cupboard, and would expect them to ask first.

No problem! I know we had to hunt around to find anything that wouldn't do any damage. :)

I adore the way parents are always encouraged to follow their instincts when it comes to illness but not to be trusted at all when it comes to diet. You sound like you're doing a fine job to me.