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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be a bit upset with hv comments?

84 replies

MenaZovut · 13/06/2011 10:27

My son is 13 months and we just had a health review. I was asked about diet, I answered honestly:

breakfast: 2 weetabix with 6oz (neocate) milk, 1 slice toast, fruit
snack: fruit or crackers
lunch: normally warm, e.g. spag bol, washed down with fruit or cereal bar (or both). Somedays a sandwich instead if out.
snack: er....anything nearby tbh. Healthy 90% of the time but can be naughty
dinner: again cooked, similar portion (if it was jar food I'd say 1.5-2 jars) with desert of some kind.

About 8oz milk in two feeds on top of this.

Before I share her reaction...is this abnormal?

He's 19lb 2oz and had a lot of issues around food early (first solids 8 months) and weight gain (which is now steady).

OP posts:

Eachpeach80 · 13/06/2011 10:42

Agree with Mrs Gravy. YANBU.

BootyMum · 13/06/2011 10:42

I'm not insinuating you're adding salt by the way but just wondered if hv was worried about it.

RitaMorgan · 13/06/2011 10:42

It sounds a lot to me, but if he is regulating his own appetite and is a normal weight then it's not a problem.

What centile is he on?

RitaMorgan · 13/06/2011 10:43

He's slim and happy - ignore the HV.

No way would I limit my child's food unless he was gaining too much weight/too quickly.

LaWeasel · 13/06/2011 10:44

DD used to eat that much at breakfast, she doesn't any more.

However, in comparison she would eat less at later meals and didn't have any snacks. (she often refused either lunch or dinner)

Equally, if his weight gain is steady and he is eating as much as he wants to (ie you're not encouraging him to have extra bites/finish his plate) I would be inclined to say it might just be a hungry eating phase after a late start, and that he may settle down into eating less once his weight has picked up, or it could be to do with how active he is, if he is crawling/walking a lot he will need more cals than an equivalent baby who isn't.

Original poster

MenaZovut · 13/06/2011 10:45

I give him cereal bars as treats as his allergies limit his treats.

The portions are pretty large, as I said nearly 2 jars worth often.

I frankly don't know how he eats so much, he out eats my friends babies. He's very very active though, plus he's from a skinny lean family so it's not that unusual. I eat like a pig very well as does his dad and we are slim, he brother and sister are the smallest in their classes too and eat so as I pointed out to her maybe he just needs more food than average.

OP posts:

Original poster

MenaZovut · 13/06/2011 10:46

Oh, I don't cook with salt. I've never liked it after being brought up without. Also we don't eat pre-pared food so it's not an issue.

OP posts:

MrsGravy · 13/06/2011 10:47

I'd really just ignore her, like you say it sounds like she's a 'box ticker'. I'm not surprised you're upse though, just as you are able to relax a bit and enjoy the fact that he's eating well and gaining a bit of weight some fool comes along and makes you feel terrible about it!

LaWeasel · 13/06/2011 10:47

x-posted.

From what you've said I think he's completely fine just not a 'usual' baby. So what!

Funtimewincies · 13/06/2011 10:47

As you've already seen OP builds and appetites vary wildly .

My 18 month old ds2 has;

cup of milk
2 weetabix/4 dessert spoons of porridge with milk
small yoghurt
raisins/grapes/banana

just for breakfast .

But then he has a small snack mid a.m. and p.m., a sandwich and fruit at lunch and a hot dinner in the evening. How much of lunch and dinner he eats varies greatly but he'll ALWAYS want a huge breakfast.

He's also (like his brother was) on the 80th centile for height and built like a whippet.

If he's considered underweight then, I agree, it seems mad to be thinking about cutting back on his calorific intake .

chicletteeth · 13/06/2011 10:48

It sounds like too much for such a small child.
I could not eat that for breakfast and my six-year old would struggle with that too.

I guess all you can is watch his weight and if he's remaining on a normal curve and not gaining too rapidly, then not to worry.

If he puts on too fast, then you should really cut back, especially the carb rich cereal-bar snacks.

Can I ask, is he hungry for this or do you just feed him this at certain times because it's what you're used to doing.

At 13 months he is unable to make a demand for these things so I'm wondering why such a rigid set of meals.

Does he ever skip a snack or not eat it?Or does he ever leave any of his food?

TotallyLovely · 13/06/2011 10:49

It does sound like quite a bit but really, hvs will always give an opinion. As far as they are concerned you will always be feeding him too much or too little! If he is happy eating it and weight is doing fine then just carry on as you are.

swanker · 13/06/2011 10:49

The only bit that sounds like a lot is the 2 weetabix.
My eldest was a 'front-loader' though, and would eat twice as much in the morning as at any other meal (usually porridge, toast, fruit) so it doesn't seem abnormal to me.

The best clues are his health and his weight gain. Is he healthy? Is his gain normal for him?

I wouldn't be too worried as long as these are both okay. Everyone has different metabolism- my 5yo can eat more than I can in a day easily and is as skinny as a rake like her father. My 2yo can eat 1 mouthful and be full... he has no problem with maintaining his weight, he just needs less input.

chicletteeth · 13/06/2011 10:50

Just seen your top post on this page.

In this case, don't worry about his food.

If he's that slight and not overweight at all, then he clearly just has a big appetite and maybe his body is catching up (since you say he has had issues with food).

I wouldn't worry too much personally.

Original poster

MenaZovut · 13/06/2011 10:50

Well it seems there's a consensus!

I felt she didn't listen, had a list of what should be done and didn't take him into account as an individual. Frustrating, and a bit dangerous frankly. If I was less confident, or he was the first, I might actually limit his diet.

He's the happiest child ever, very very very active (even nursery comment on this in a tired way) and just loves food. When he's really really over-stuffing I give him something like grapes to munch on as I think he simply is enjoying eating as a process. I've honestly never seen him look over-stuffed, he stops when he wants to (or uses the left-overs for artwork....porridge painting...)

OP posts:

Meita · 13/06/2011 10:50

It does sound like a lot of food to me. Similar to adult portions (though hard to judge as don't know how much cooked lunch he gets). They do say that feeding your child adult portions can, over time, lead to weight problems. And apparently some, few, children don't/can't self regulate and will just keep eating as long as food is available. So I guess it is possible that HV said he's having too much.

But I'll hazard the opposite guess: Did she say he needs more calories? (Maybe she suggested he should get more/less solids compared to milk?) Based on his presumably below average weight? (My DS at 9.5months weighed more, and yet was completely 'average' in weight for his age) In which case, just ignore her. She is obviously one of those who don't understand what the centile charts mean. If he is now steadily gaining weight, more or less following the centile lines (doesn't matter if he's rising through them either), eating ok, and seems happy, then don't worry.

IgnoringTheChildren · 13/06/2011 10:51

I think my DS1 was eating similar amounts at that age - certainly more than he eats now at 3 (nearly 4) a lot of the time . I really don't understand why your HV would think it's way too much, particularly as he self-feeds and you're clearly aware of when he's hungry and when he's had enough!

In your shoes I would ignore the HV and continue offering food to your DS as you are. I would only be concerned if he was putting on huge amounts of weight or if he wasn't showing signs of being full/having eaten enough.

Funtimewincies · 13/06/2011 10:51

At 13 months ds2 would knock the spoon out of my hand if he was full. Now he shouts 'done' and puts his hands in front of his face .

Meita · 13/06/2011 10:52

oops x-posted, sorry

PaperView · 13/06/2011 10:52

It sounds like too much for me never mind a toddler! (obviously i am adjusting the main meal portion sizes)

However, as you can see from this thread it's about a 50/50 split. If any of mine ate that much for breakfast they would not be offered a snack between meals. Mine are 8, 6 and 3.

Bare in mind that children often things they like whenever they are offered it and in whatever quantities so it may not be that he is hungry but likes what he is being given so eating it anyway.

ImeldaM · 13/06/2011 10:54

My DS, now 6, has always been a big eater, seems to be always hungry & I've never restricted his food because he's slim & healthy, sounds like your HV just not very good.

It does sound a lot for that age but if he's not overweight then its obviously fine.

Original poster

MenaZovut · 13/06/2011 10:54

If I forget snacks he starts cup-raiding or going down my bag for treats to remind me We don't have a routine of times, he sleeps and eats at different times each day.

OP posts:

Funtimewincies · 13/06/2011 10:57

We seem to be presuming that children will keep on eating bigger and bigger portions (i.e. if they're having big protions now, they'll be eating their own body weight in porridge by the time they're 4) but I've not found that to be the case with my dc.

Ds2 at 18 months eats more on some days than ds1 who is 4. When ds1 reached 2, what he needed to eat dropped dramatically. I'm not surprised that a newly walking toddler needs so much food. Ds2 does not stop, he only sits down at mealtimes and he walks really quickly.

mrsravelstein · 13/06/2011 10:57

there are days when my slim 16 month old dd eats quantities like that... and others she eats next to nothing. i don't agree with paperview, none of my 3dc would eat if they weren't hungry, other than chocolate which obviously they'd eat any amount of, but you're not offering treats, you're offering normal well balanced meals to a not overweight child, so i really can't see the issue.

mintymellons · 13/06/2011 11:01

DD2 is a large baby with a good appetitie, but she doesn't eat anything like this amount. She is almost 15 months. I've no idea what she weighs, but let's just say she's into 18-24 month clothes!

Anyway, average for her is:

1 weetabix with half banana, half slice toast, cup milk
snack of fruit or biscuit/cracker, water
hot lunch - spag bol, casserole, fish pie etc... and water
snack of fruit or biscuit/cracker, water
tea usually sandwich (one slice bread)/finger food/crudites/yoghurt/fruit
cup of milk at bedtime

HTH

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