Woman on bus shouting at me for neglecting DD

[organictwat]

Okay this is more of a was I being unreasonable...

I had DD when I was young and not quite ready have a child. I always wanted DD and was exited about being pregnant but my mum chucked me out, my boyfriend left me and I had to leave college and hold down three jobs in order to support myself and save money for when DD arrived.

I was over the moon when DD arrived but life was a struggle and I was quite lonely and depressed. DD had colic and I found it hard to bond. One day I was on the bus a few stops away from my house. The bus was packed as it was rush hour and DD (about a year old at the time) was screaming as she wanted to get out of the buggy. I was delirious with tiredness and thought if I get her out she will never get back in and we're getting off in a couple of stops so I ignored her....

A woman on the bus then started shouting at me, saying she only wants some attention/to be picked up, then a couple more people joined in, I got off at the next stop in tears....

That was a long time ago but I still think about it and wonder if I was being unreasonable??

...and if you had have got your daughter out the pushchair, some busy-body would have mumbled under her breath about you spoiling her. You just can't win.

If you'd taken her out, at a year old, you'd have had to grapple with her on your lap, she would STILL have screamed because she probably wanted to walk around the bus, which wasn't safe for her, so you did EXACTLY THE RIGHT THING! You can't really win in that situation, you did certainly the safest thing for your child - the people who had a go are stupid and didn't think through what the consequences would be if you had taken her out of the pram.

Ah poor you! Those people were idiots and they should be ashamed of themselves! Of course, you could have explained that you couldn't get baby out of the buggy as you were about to get off the bus, but I probably would have been too shocked and angry and just burst into tears.

Something which I do when in that sort of situation is stroke babies hair or face or say soothing words. This would never have actually calmed down my children at all, but to people around you it looks like you are doing something and so they are less likely to have a go at you.

veritythebrave That's shocking!

Yanbu, mine would instantly scream to get out the buggy on the bus after i got them out once. A nightmare on a packed bus. Im with the others who said i would have told her to f off.

I would have ignored the nosy cow, I've been in a situation where DD has been crying in her buggy in a shop and I've tried to zip round the shop as fast as possibe and then go home rather than spending extra time lifting her up and comforting her, which doesn't always work anyway. I have had comments from older ladies like "something must be hurting her" and "I hate to hear babies cry in shops," but what they don't know is that DD just hates being in shops and will cry from the minute we enter to the minute we leave, and unfortunately sometimes I have to get things in the shops when I am alone with her because DH is at work.

YWNBU You knew your child, you knew it was only two stops. For whatever reason, some women love to judge other mothers. Its a pecking order thing, young mums, single mums, 'foreign' mums. If you happen to be all three, they can get really excited.

Anyone who hasn't been in a similar fix has led a very charmed, perfect life indeed. Forget about it.