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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to travel to my best friend's wedding in Colombia with my DS and DD

47 replies

Lozza23 · 12/06/2011 20:41

My best friend is getting married in Colombia in January and I very much want to be there. However, the trip will require 8 flights in total and additional vaccinations (yellow fever being the minimum). My DS will be almost 3 and my DD will be 10 months and leaving them behind is not an option. I have got the fear that I am expecting too much of my little ones to travel this distance for a wedding. AIBU to sack it off?

OP posts:
Rainydaze · 12/06/2011 20:43

Will you have another adult (the DCs' dad?) with you? If so, YABU - it's do-able.

ooohyouareawfulbutilikeyou · 12/06/2011 20:44

i wouldnt do it, life is too short

hiddenhome · 12/06/2011 20:44

There is no way I would do that trip with children that young Shock

Is Columbia even safe these days? I thought there were lots of kidnappings and civil war Hmm

I think your friend is crazy for expecting you to do that trip tbh.

WhoAteMySnickers · 12/06/2011 20:46

YANBU. If someone is choosing to get married somewhere like Columbia then they must expect that not everyone will want to be there, be willing to be parted from their children for so long, be willing to travel so far or have the funds to do so.

swash · 12/06/2011 20:46

God no. Just don't go. It will be miserable!

kitbit · 12/06/2011 20:46

In your shoes I might feel guilty for declining, but would not be considering it. At all. Decline with the knowledge that you are not being unreasonable!

shreddinghippo · 12/06/2011 20:46

There's no way I would take my 4yo and 3month old on that sort of journey. Are you in the UK?
I would rather miss my BFF wedding.
Depends how much you want to be there, if it is so important to you then you will find a way to manage it.

EmLH · 12/06/2011 20:47

I wouldn't even consider it with children that age. I am a worrier though!

Hassled · 12/06/2011 20:48

Just say no. It's a huge journey - worth it if it were part of some great holiday, but for a wedding - really, just not worth the expense and nightmare and exhaustion.

theinet · 12/06/2011 20:50

Colombia is fabulous - you should go , yes it's a long flight but a beautiful country and you'll see a very different vibrant culture. And nowadays, it's safe (as long as you don't go deep into the jungle - which i expect you won't be).

Northernlurker · 12/06/2011 20:53

8 flights, extra vaccinations, issues with food and water and upset tummys...ugh no way would I go! Sounds like a total niightmare!

hiddenhome · 12/06/2011 20:55

I wouldn't want my young children having all those vaccinations either. They all can have side effects. Also, it'll be difficult stopping the children from picking up upset tummies, viruses etc. due to the complete change of environment. Those in themselves aren't serious and are to be expected, but you'll just spend all day in your hotel room nursing sick youngsters. Mine used to end up with diarrhoea every time we visited the in laws 150 miles away Hmm

Older children are far more reliable and stable to transport on long journeys. You never know what to expect with babies/toddlers.

cat64 · 12/06/2011 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ENormaSnob · 12/06/2011 21:10

No I wouldn't tbh.

giveitago · 12/06/2011 21:13

YANBU. Lots of people get married overseas and that's great and they probably realise that for many people it wipes out their holiday funds.

I wouldn't be too happy about getting my very young kids vaccinated for this. I think vaccinations now cost don't they?

bluebobbin · 12/06/2011 21:20

No way would I take a 2yo and crawling baby for the wedding. Vaccinations would be a big issue for me, supervision of 2 mobile toddlers in an unfamiliar place - yikes! I wouldn't consider it for more than about 10 seconds.

exoticfruits · 12/06/2011 21:31

Just give apologies.

cwtch4967 · 12/06/2011 21:32

I'm quite laid back and have travelled with both of my children as toddlers - there is no way in the world I would do that trip!

Pixieonthemoor · 12/06/2011 21:33

With children that age it would be an utter nightmare. It is not so much the baby but an active toddler on several flights that I would be worried about. Also really would not fancy all those jabs for such little ones. I really would stay at home, hard as this will be.

microserf · 12/06/2011 21:34

I really don't think colombia is a very safe destination. Personally, even leaving aside the logistics issues, I would not take my kids there.

Your friend is a bit disconnected from reality to expect you to make this trip. I'd send a lovely present and a sorry we can't make it card.

Panzee · 12/06/2011 21:41

I got married abroad to make sure most people couldn't make it.

BikeRunSki · 12/06/2011 21:43

Webcam?

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 12/06/2011 21:51

Columbia is wonderful and I'd go there again in a heartbeat, but I wouldn't put young children through the vaccinations unless there was no choice - i.e. it was a work requirement or we were planning to upsticks and live there for a few years.

Pity your BF isn't getting married in British Columbia, but I'm sure she'll understand the reason for your absence.

Bue · 12/06/2011 21:57

So 4 flights there and 4 back?! Bloody hell, where is it, in the middle of the rainforest?

I'm sure on your own it would be fabulous, but you'd be crazy to do it with two small children.

Original poster
Lozza23 · 12/06/2011 21:59

Thanks everyone. My mind is made up: we will send our sincerest apologies along with a big present and spare the little ones the international shlep.

OP posts:
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