Dd1 want to ask you if we (me and DH) are being unreasonable

[DooinMeCleanin]

We are making her tidy her room, when all dd2 has to do is pick up some toys in the living room and then she can sit down on the couch.

DD2 is 4, dd1 is almost 8.

She also thinks it is unfair that she gets asked to go to the shop sometimes and dd2 does not. I ahve explained that this is becasue she is older and when she was four she was not expected to do as much as she is now her answer "It's not my fault I grew up, I bet other mams and dads don't make their kids do more just because they grew up"

So do you make your kids do more because they have grew up?

As an aside dd2 is sat on the sofa watching TV because she put the toys away when she was asked and has now finished. DD1 has spent the last two hours channelling her energies into screaming, crying and backchatting and still has her room to clean.

My 7 year old is the youngest, she is expected to tidy her room regularly - she is also expected to clean the living room and hoover it, take her plates to the side, scrape food in the bin and put them in the dishwasher if appropriate.

She has to put her own clothes away weekly

She occasionally washes up after we cook

She is part of the family (as her brothers are) and it is family work that needs doing

at Sir Cleanupalot!

My DD is 3.9 and does sod all. I think I may need to revise my thoughts on this. To be fair, I don't do a lot myself.

Gosh my oldest son nearly cries when he has to fetch something from his room because it's on the THIRD floor, yes two whole flights of stairs!!

DD1 if you want to be treated like a child/big girl and not a baby you have to take responsibility to be trusted...this is a good pay off for you.

What Showy said - you have to do more but you also get to do more.

Good luck with it Zukie, you deserve to be happy. About your mum.

They must be finished now because the cleaning fairy has been sent downstairs and is currently attacking all the woodwork with a can of polish and a duster. Dd1 has used the magic potion to turn herself into Britney Spears and is messing about with her guitar whilst screeching "I love rock and roll"

DS is a bit older but I say to him, 'do you want the privileges of being 13, and therefore the responsibilities of being older, or do you want to get away with the same as your 8 yr old sister and threrefore be treated like her...?'

Sometimes he hates me but I am learning to live with it

So no, you are NBU,...

oh zukie - wishing you all the best and I hope you are no longer in contact with That Woman (or indeed any of them as they all sat and let it happen to you). lots of strength to you :) (and a sneaky ((hug)) - don't tell anyone!)

DD1 (9) and DD2 (7) have to tidy their rooms each week, and do one big tidyup of the toyroom per week. I gets lots of complaining and backchat, but it has to be done, and once they start they do a very good job of it. I do have to separate them, one does the bedrooms and one does the playroom, they switch weekly. DD2 is doing more consistently at 7 than DD1 did.

What's with the shock and horror of making your 8yo go to the shop? Both my dcs would have done that without a thought at 8, but thought I was a ghastly cruel woman for making them tidy up. SHop (unless it is massive weekly shop) is surely by far the lighter option.

Her stuff, she tidies it up.

Or you get the black bags out and bin it.

Her choice.

And tell her she'll get to leave home before her sister. That might please her!

YANBU, she has to realise that growing up and being the older one has huge up and down sides.

My girls are 8 and 4 too.

My 8 year old - tidies their bedroom, puts their clothes away and washes up the breakfast things.

My 4 year old - 'does the dusting' (which I then have to re-do obviously!) and makes her bed.

BUT

My 8 year old - goes to the village shop on a Saturday to buy sweets, plays outside on her bike and goes to bed at 8.00.

My 4 year old - stays where I can see her all the time and goes to bed at 7.00

Swings and roundabouts.

Mine are 8 and 4 too. The eight year old is quite good about tidying her mess, it's the four year old I battle with. Not too young for chores at all. Everyone needs a bit of responsibility:)

Your 8 year old used the word "audacity"? I am impressed!

IMO she's just trying it on, to see what techniques work when she wants to get her own way.

By the time she's 15 she'll have you completely under her control.

I adore this thread, if only for the Cleaning Fairy. i wonder if that would work on a two year old.

I also agree that 8yrs is not necessarily too young to be going to the shop - my DD's now 8 and she's been going every so often for at least a year.

I let her go when I knew she was sensible enough to cross roads and get a bottle of gin down from the high shelf in the shop.

I also use The Bag as and when necessary.

Turn it round as I might, I really can't see the problem with an 8 year old going to the shop. Unless by 'shop' you mean your local crack den?

Poor DS1 has many more chores than his baby brother, it is truly heartbreaking. I just say Suck It Up Princess.

Audacity is her new word atm. Every now and again she'll pick up a word and try and use it as often as possible, it's probably something she has heard me rant say

She likes going to shop, she was just mouthing off. I've tried to get her to go the local crack den, Morloth, but she says they won't let her in, so I have to go there myself