TO QUOTE Hugh Hefner (bunnyboy ) on sex "monogamy is possible but NOT natural"

[GabbyLoggon]

Do a lot of men think like Hefner? Do a lotof women? Lwets get sserious on the subject Because marriage is losing its domination Never thought Iwould quote Hefner....Butwhat he says is worth discussing

I'll try gabby he just promotes something I don't believe in

I think we live too long to be 'naturally monogamous'

Back in the days where you died of old age in your early 30's, it might not have been such a problem.

omi don't robins mate together for life?

pumpernickel I think they are monogamous for the breeding cycle.

I would hate to live with a group of women ( or men, or a mixed sex group) I can't think of anything worse tbh.

I would be happiest with just me and DH , on an island, with no others in sight.

I'm utterly, totally, monogamous , I even think that only having one child is an extension to that. I don't understand how people cope in step-families etc. I wouldn't have wanted some other woman / another family dynamic having an influence on my DD.

Actually, I don't really like people very much at all, you get far more sense out of animals I find...

@Malificence two timing with animals is frowned on in polite society ;)

Communal areas

I'm slightly hyperventilating at the thought of being cooped up with a group of strangers latere this weeky, we're off to China on a tour and will be in a group of up to 25 apparently.

I have visions of people "saving us seats" and such like - we are independant souls and usually DIY when travelling, unfortunately logistics dictated that we go on an organised tour and my eye is starting to twitch at the prospect, DH has thoughtfully suggested valium, I think he'll be slipping me something on the plane.

I'll be the grumpy looking one at the back of the bus that nobody dares speak to.

It is not natural for any sentient being to be monogamous with Hugh Hefner. Ditto polygamous. In fact I would go as far as to say it is UNnatural to be any kind of gamous with that degenerate misogynistic old git.

Jeckadeck, i certainly dont think animals should be used as models, but it is true to say that some animals mate for life, others don't. Of course animals go to work, they hunt and forage for food, build homes, they just don't get paid in money, thats the only difference.

There is another difference, which mrs buscuits has made me think about - monogamous RELATIONSHIP, in terms of life partner who you may or may not marry and raise children with. But because humans have recreational sex, maybe it is perfectly natural to have multiple sexual partners but not multiple relationship partners? Otherwise known as having ones cake and eating it. I think for me, whilst actually this is an attractive idea i would struggle to separate sex from emotion. I did have lots of one night stands and breif relationships in my past, but not now - i have been faithful to my partner for twenty years. I can't hand on heart say i haven't been tempted, and flirt? well, it has to be done doesn't it. I would not be able to accept him being unfaithful though, because i think that it is the emotional bond that i couldnt deal with. If i thought it was 100% sex i think id be okish about it, err, id need to know about it too, which probably makes me a closet swinger. Im not sure if that makes any sense :)

If charles darwin, steve jones or richard dawkins (?) said that monogamy was unnatural i might sit up and listen, but Hugh Heffner? LOL forgive me for not taking him too seriously, i dont think he'll mind either cos ive got great tits

Can't stand him and what he stands for but I agree with him.

I also agree with Le Queen's theory of the women all living together and helping each other and using the men for some romance, protection and a quick shag. Most of the time I have more in common and have more fun with my girlfriends - especially on spending time with the kids.

Oop's what does that say about my marriage?

Bugger that lequeen and begonyabampot - i would be a lesbian if i actually enjoyed female company more because women have far nicer bodies than men.

I am 100% monogamous, as is my husband. Ten years of marriage and everything is just as 'exciting' as it was back then. We both look forward to many more decades together. We are best friends and have such fun together.

As with anything in life, you get out what you put in.

I've had too many c sections and babies to ever be anything other than monogamous, there's only sooooo many apologies I want to make for my body!!

Hugh Hefner is a perverse blokes who, for his age, fucks children.....the day I even consider what he says is the day that I become a virgin again.

Although I have been wholly, unswervingly and unquestioningly monogamous for 28 years it is clear that many people are not.

Monogamy is a personal choice, not a biological fact.

Hence, Hefner is right. Monogamy is possible (by choice) but not natural (as evidenced by empirical observation of human behaviour).

Do you really think that it's a choice though?

I don't choose to be monogamous, it's what I am - I'd go so far as to say it's coded into my dna, like being heterosexual , i.e., I don't make a choice not to have sex with women, it simply wouldn't occur to me or appeal to me in any way , in the same way that it wouldn't occur to me to see another man in a sexual way.

You've been monogamous for roughly the same amount of time as me MB, would you that you've had to make a deliberate choice to enable you to do that?

Mal - well I do feel exactly as you do. Monogamy is defnitley a part of who I am. I chose to be with DW 'forsaking all others' as a very concious decision but I could have decided to stay single and had multiple partners as an alternative.

Monogamy doesn't seem to suit everyone.

No I agree, monogamy is wrong for an awful lot of people, but a lot of people aren't honest about that - men especially seem to want a family and a nice homelife, but they also feel entitled to shag around on the side, although the vast majority wouldn't want their wives to do the same, you can guarantee that Ryan Giggs et al wouldn't want their wives to have multiple affairs.
I'm of the opinion that if you want a single lifestyle then you should stay single and not have children, having a family is incompatible with shagging around, not that it stops a lot of people.

I think some men are perfectly capable of being monogamous, as are some women.

It is impossible to generalise people because of their gender surely? People are people; weak/strong, honest/dishonest, truthful/liars, honourable/dishonourable.

I don't think men are genetically wired to be less faithful than women, they are just worse at lying, and so get caught a little more often.