In thinking people should educate themselves and use a bit of common sense instead of asking silly, questions about SN on here?

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

ASD s a huge spectrum, my dd is fairly well behaved and has never been violent, however she has huge meltdowns when she gets stressed.

OTOH my son can become violent (towards me) has no sense of danger, paces and runs away when stressed..... yet doesn't have the massive screaming meltdowns his sister has. Having said all that, when they're ASD is taken into consideration and handled properly they're better behaved than a lot of NT kids I see, and i'm proud of them both.

At the other end of the scale my niece is the most severely affected child I have ever met, she is non verbal and constantly bouncing/violent towards her carers, she wasn't always like this, her epilepsy meds have a lot to answer for. Ah well, guess that's her future mapped behind a load of trees I suppose, can't have her spoiling anyones coffee mornings.

If people are so interested in kids/adults with SN they can educate themselves by picking up a book or volunteering at a respite centre, something of that ilk. I really can't be arsed with 'educating the masses' or 'opening eyes'. I don't see it as my calling, the new Mumsnet mantra should be don't be a twat, and think before you judge. Job done, and many aching fingers saved.

And please, can we ignore the constant twattery threads ? We are just as bad for giving them the attention they crave, report and ignore is the new LBD in my opinion.

No, no, no, not your thread summer

Although in a lot of cases I do think GOOGLE is your friend.

For example when my son started having problems his paed wanted a family history, I have a cousin with Neurofibromatosis and LD's, I had to ask my Auntie what his condition was (she'd never disclosed it) but I didn't bombard her with questions, I educated myself by heading to the library (old gimmer, no computers)

Oh I dunno, maybe i'm just an old fart grumbling in an old fart type way.

TIFFANY, if somebody is dim enough to start asking stupid questions on a 'please stop asking stupid' questions thread. That's there look out tbh.

I'm confident they won't, I have put my faith in those with half a brain

am i missin somethin op, or isnt askin questions on here a form of eductin oneself?

I am ahppy to be asked questions: I have 4 with levels of SN ranging from diagnosed autism and Aspergers through to beinga ssessed for AS and ADHD.

I am happy to answer genuine questions.

if they are phrased in terms that make people end up justifying their support I am not. if they are judgemental I am not interested. if it want to protray me or mine as lesser and some kid of scum scrounger then you know what you can do.

I have no problem with people asking genuine questions, as long as they listen to the answers and use the information in a positive way.

Anyone being nasty about SN can just fuck off tbh, I haven't got the time of day for them.

I have a question but never dare post it. Suppose I could google it, but it will doubtless come back with a million things it ' could be'

I have little info to go on too.

Apocalypse, I see where you're coming from, having seen the sort of threads you mean.

I just wanted to say, because it seems relevant, that I do learn a lot from people on here about SN and I am really grateful to people who take time to answer my silly (but I hope not offensive/daft) questions. I'm dyslexic and have read a lot of research, but still learn a lot from hearing about other people's experiences of reading disorders; I'm interested in Autism, initially because I'd been reading about how it and dyslexia/dyspraxia might be linked. I don't post threads saying 'hi, come tell me about your Autistic kid', because I'd feel like a twit, but I do get interested in what people are saying. I know I could just go to books and research it all, but, especially with Spectrum conditions, that's quite bewildering at first. I don't mean to be intrusive or disrespectful and I really hope it doesn't come across that way.

ILT feel free to PM me.

ITA and am v pleased MN is finally hitting the delete button on nasty crap like this morning's thread.

I did once start a thread in the SN section because I had a particular question, not only did I get a variety of answers, but I think it was a pretty painless experience all round. So don't be 'afraid' to try it.

Actually that looks bad now I've posted it.

I'm trying to get across - I admit I am interested partly in a curious way, because I want to learn more about how we work as people (and especially how we learn), but I'm not thinking 'ohh, SN, I'll go have a gawp at that', or at least I'm very sad if it comes across that way.

If it's a genuine question about something which directly effects you TIFFANY then post it in SN, no problem with that.

I don't see it as a my mission to educate strangers on ASD, but I am happy to answer questions / enlighten friends, family and acquaintances about my DS's AS. I feel like I owe it to him to explain why he behaves the way he does sometimes, as he is too young to really be able to explain it himself.

I do understand where you are coming from, though, OP.

When DS was first diagnosed I used to run around saying 'He has Asperger's' to all the parents in the playground who got stroppy about my boy's behaviour.
I have largely stopped doing that, now, though, as I cannot really understand why grown adults are incapable of stepping back and asking themselves if their may be a reason a 6 yr old is behaving like a 2 yr old (other than that he is an ill-behaved brat). I find it unfathomable, really, that so many adults can be so insensitive and unthinking. My first thoughts are always 'I wonder if that child has some sort of SN' when I see an older child kicking off (toddlers are excused!). Maybe it's that I am informed, now that I have a child with SN, but really...is it that hard?

You only have to spend time on MN if you want to become more aware of children with SN. And children other than yours in general. You don't need to ask 'silly' questions. From threads about children on playdates who are 'fussy' eaters I've learnt not to be a judgy bitch, when parents come on and explain that they've got two children who eat a healthy balanced diet and one who only eats jam sandwiches. I've also picked up a lot about what it's like to cater for a child with severe allergies. I've been stunned that parents with children who don't share their skin colour actually have random people ask them whose children they have with them. I've picked up lots of other stuff too. I've learned that Lakeland is guilty of filling it's pages with female models for all cooking and cleaning products and only pictures men dealing with BBQs. Damn you feminists, raising my awareness, I needed a pineapple slicer. I've learned how to deal with damp mobiles - rice and an airing cupboard- and never to google dragon butter. In the same way, when people who have children with SN post I do sometimes think, 'That never occured to me!' eg when people have been talking about disabled parking spaces and invisible disabilities.

Those looking to insult and stir up hate should not be defended on the grounds that they provide an opportunity to 'educate'. Those who have genuine questions about SN may well get answered. But they could find out from other sources, and they might have to wait until the posters they need have finished talking about low carb diets, the morality of eating grapes in the supermarket and bum sex.

I've learnt a lot from reading the SN topic. I don't think my DC's have SN (although I do wonder about DS sometimes) but it helps me understand other children (and what their parents have to deal with) when we're out and about.

A pineapple slicer you say ?

Do tell more.

YANBU.

In fairness am absolutely certain I have offered to answers ILTs q before and she did nto contact me then or now.

You mean you don't have one ACT?
Good Heavens, how others manage to live.
www.lakeland.co.uk/10478/3-in-1-Pineapple-CorerSlicer
Saves wielding large knives and getting that attractive pink stain out of your chunks.

Are you the MN police Why start a thread to tell people what they should post on MN?

I don't think there is anything wrong with people asking questions. People sometimes need some real life experience. They don't want to google because it gives lots of 'could be...' answers and then they work themselves up into a state about it.

Surely MN is about people sharing experiences and people being able to talk about things that they have experience in.

Peachy seems to be the only one sensible enough to do this.

I dont mind answering questions but so many fail to actually listen to the answer and the. Tiwst it rou d.

Peachy is stupid and has been so kncoked down by MN comments in the past on threads-gone-bad about Sn that she has tried to jump off the landing.

I amke myself vulnerable but I dont think other should. yes people who want to learn- good on them:: I applaud you. but tehre are too many people on MN who will target a thread with nastiness that hurts

Well....... I feel I am entitled to suggest it as a parent of two SN children suggesting someone use their common sense or do a bit of research if they care that much.

And no, I do not have a pineapple aid. This will be like the steam mop all over again, I can feel it in me bones.

Agree that there has been a lot of twattery on here lately. But still feel I have learnt a lot on here which, hopefully, has helped me to behave less like a twat in RL.

When I was at secondary school they run a programme with one of those fake babies - the ones that cry alot. Some of the girls (myself included) in year 11 looked after one for a weekend. Its meant to give you an understanding of what its like having a small baby.

Maybe we could start a similar one on MN, but for children with SN. I would personally lend DS at the moment - the transition has started into reception, which has stressed him out so he spends all his time banging the cupboard doors and shouting his new verbal tic 'Thats Disgusting'.

I agree that I dont mind asking questions, but some of the people who ask them dont want to hear the answer unless its backing up their stereotype.