For asking a serious non-judgy question about DLA...

[itisnearlysummer]

My BIL has 3 children. The middle one has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. We don't have a lot to do with them because our lives and interests are very different although we live close by so see them at family get togethers. So I am aware that we don't necessarily have all the facts.

Now, the other day BIL phoned DH to tell him that they'd "blagged" another £200 a month because of DS2. By this they mean they get middle rate DLA.

Both parents work and this isn't in addition to other benefits so I'm not bashing!

When my DH asked what the DLA is for, BIL replied that he didn't really know but they were happy to give it to him, so he was happy to take it. Which is fair enough!

So, genuine question for people in a similar position is what is DLA for in this situation? Our understanding previously was that DLA was a financial support for people who might incur extra costs as a result of disability, or because parents/carers might have to reduce work hours/stop working to care, extra parking/travel because of attending appointments, etc. But they've said that none of these apply to them.

Other family members have started to make negative comments about this, but it must be for something and not just compensation for having a more challenging than average child!

Since the enlightenment?

Left wing politics strives for 'social justice' and egalitarianism right wing strives for limited state intervention and libertarianism

If you think thats an attack something report me

Oh yeah, fine. I'm a shit parent.
In fact I must be a really fucking shit parent because all of my children have autism.

UBER SHIT MOTHER HERE!!!! Come and deride at your leisure.

I must be an unconsistent shit mother though as only one of them has ADHD. Which isn't 'real' anyway is it? Except the Ritalin works. Ritalin doesn't work in cases where there is no ADHD. But please, don't let facts get in the way of your parenting bashing.

You know what? STICK IT UP YOUR FUCKING ARSE.

I am literally laughing that someone would be so ignorant as to post that AsD, a neurological condition, is caused by Farmfoods and fruitshoots. Please everyone join me and don't be wound up by someone so obviously stupid/ill-informed/on the windup..not worth it

Also, yes, dyspraxia doesn't exist, must be all the fruitshoots that mean my Dd aged 4.8 can't clap her hands or wave

And that ASD, load of tosh, my Dd can't speak and doesn't interact, nothing to do with her brain, I just should have been stricter with her and talked to her more as a baby..at least we can blag a small amount of cash though,.kerrching, well worth having a child who will function like she is 1 when she is 5

I think it was organic rice cakes that brain damaged my child.

Well dd1 uses her DLA for her specialist horse riding therapy and her gymnastics. Dd2 DLA covers her specialist preschool at £42 a session! It doesn't cover her horse riding therapy! It doesn't cover their food issues, their travel to appointments, or there other activities.
Wish it would cover me to shop in farm foods or fill them with crap!

I get Middle Rate DLA for dd (6)

I wouldn't imagine you'd need it for ADHD but what do i know, i guess it depends on the severity?

My DD is moderate to severely deaf, with hearing aids in both ears

Epileptic

Has LQT Syndrome

A genetic mutation (connexin 26) affecting her balance a motor skills

DX

The reasons for our DLA Claim stand.
Can't: dress herself, get in and out of bed herself, Use the toilet, Walk without some one holding her hand so she doesn't fall over. Run (at all)
She needs help communicating and understanding others, and constant one to one care at school.
We have 1 or 2 hospital appointments every week, not always local (some 300 mile round trip)

I still feel guilty claiming DLA, but it got to a point where i just couldn't afford the petrol for the appointments any more.

My son has all of those.... plus ADHD which means he constantly tries to do things that may kill him.

What on earth is Farm Foods? Sounds pretty healthy to me. Same with Fruit Shoots for that matter.

I envisage a family eating fresh meat and organic locally produced meat and veg with home-made compote to drink. Is that not what these things are?

My ds (4) regularly sticks his willy in plug sockets, even ones high up. I have them all covered up but he's an expert with all locks and problem solving 'games' and like most men is driven by his willy!

But even if he couldn't get into our plug sockets, there are plug sockets in every other indoor venue!

Sorry, when I say he regularly does it, he regularly tries. I don't think he's ever 'quite' managed to get it in however squishy he makes it.

It's still pretty scary to come across though, particularly in public.

OP, my son has adhd and we receive high rate care DLA. When ds is on his medication he can seem the same as other children his age, but this doesn't last more than a few hours.
My Dh sounds like your BIL, acts like ds is fine and can quite see why we get DLA for him. He doesn't spend as much time with him as I do, trust me he can be a handful.
I don't remember ADHD/ODD existing under Major/Thatcher. It seems to me that these conditions show an uncanny correlation with the funding available, much like 'heavy legs' in France, which is a epidemic Winston Churchill and Albert Einstein had ADHD so just because you weren't aware of it doesn't mean it didn't exist it was just called something different. In fact ADHD has been around since the 1700's under several different names such as mental derangement, minimal brain dysfunction, hyperactivity disorder and hyperkinetic reaction.

Farm Foods is a naff cheap shop on our high street that does a lot of frozen ready made stuff and sort of like Iceland, but more naff.

By naff you mean cheap?

No, there are plenty of nice shops that are nice and cheap, Farm Foods is sort of the greasy spoon of frozen food shops on our high street. Lots, and LOTS of junk food, very little of any nutritional value. If its chock full of enums, colours, additives preservatives and MSG, you'll find it on their shelves.

There's inexpensive affordable food, and then there's cheap shit that i dont hate my kids enough to feed them, iyswim...

Oh for God's sake. FarmFoods has junk food just like any other supermarket. Are you going to avoid Waitrose or Sainsburys or Tesco because they have junk food as well? FarmFoods also has bread, milk, frozen veg, and some fresh veg and fruit, and is very close to our home, so we tend to pop in there because milk and bread are much less expensive there. What incredible snobs some people are!

Families that include a child with ADHD or ASD can have many extra expenses etiher to replace items, repair items, or simply provide things needed by the child that would otherwise not be needed (such as sensory toys, private swimming lessons, private/extra therapies they are not able to get within a reasonable time frame through the NHS, etc).

I'm so tired of people expecting explanations and justifications for it. If the OP has questions about why her BIL is claiming DLA for their child, why doesn't she simply ask her BIL, rather than starting a "bash the DLA claimants and poke at ADHD by stealth" thread instead? Far more direct approach, probably much clearer answer (or perhaps they may simply tell you it's none of your business as you don't seem too involved in their life anyway). Rather than stirring this up again.

Hence my posts for those who are ignorant to shove it up their collective arseholes.

Since when did a post about DLA become a farm foods bashing post?
No i don't shop there, but still?

Poor old Nicevideo was just helping out Starlight. Someone else made the Farm Foods and Fruit Shoots into a slur.

DS2 was recently awarded middle rate DLA which will pay for the massages he needs for his muscle spasms (£60) pw and will just make life better for all of us.

There are lots of other costs, for instance, I need a professional babysitter anytime I leave him and he eats different food from the rest of the family.

However, I too feel that I have "blagged" this as we have been managing for so long without bothering to apply.

Does anyone know - this has been awarded till his 16th bday but there is also a 6 monthly review - how can there be both?

Whatever17 - I'm not sure, but i think all DLA claims have a 6 month review when they are under 16, as conditions can change, or are still undergoing diagnosis.

Needs can increase or decrease depending on how the condition can be managed in future. (i think anyway)

Yes, but part of the whole deal is that you inform them if/when things change.

So what is the point of a 6month review, except to exert pressure on already stressed out people?

We donlt ahve the review on ours. May be a new thing?