For asking a serious non-judgy question about DLA...

[itisnearlysummer]

My BIL has 3 children. The middle one has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. We don't have a lot to do with them because our lives and interests are very different although we live close by so see them at family get togethers. So I am aware that we don't necessarily have all the facts.

Now, the other day BIL phoned DH to tell him that they'd "blagged" another £200 a month because of DS2. By this they mean they get middle rate DLA.

Both parents work and this isn't in addition to other benefits so I'm not bashing!

When my DH asked what the DLA is for, BIL replied that he didn't really know but they were happy to give it to him, so he was happy to take it. Which is fair enough!

So, genuine question for people in a similar position is what is DLA for in this situation? Our understanding previously was that DLA was a financial support for people who might incur extra costs as a result of disability, or because parents/carers might have to reduce work hours/stop working to care, extra parking/travel because of attending appointments, etc. But they've said that none of these apply to them.

Other family members have started to make negative comments about this, but it must be for something and not just compensation for having a more challenging than average child!

in fact i remember a pretty good black-market trade going of ADHD kids' ritalin pills in my high school... i never dabbled, but i know many of my peers (they're all adults now, lol) who did, so they could pass an exam or whatnot.

So with the inconsistencies, there will be some who seem to get awarded unfairly. Not our fault, though, and in most cases it seems more to be not getting awarded DLA unfairly.

Ellen: as all DD2 eats is beige carbs, i dont know wtf she'd eat if i took her off all gluten and milk :/

her beloved cheddars would be out, cheese sticks would be out, oatibix, the only thing she will eat some days, would be out, etc etc...

she could eat a plain jacket potato but that's the only food she'll eat that isnt wheat or milk based :/

Sorry, nicevideo, just a thought. It's one of those interventions that works better IMO when they are really young and haven't got so attached to their favourite foods. For what it's worth, GF/CF didn't work for my FS and he's addicted to cheese strings!

DS not FS!

nicevideo you might find that she will eat more if you inteoduce a GF CF diet (the theory is that some kids develop an addiction to GFCF foods as they act like drugs in their system and make them high).

But a good palce to start is here as theyc an test in advance whether it migt help.

DS1 responds to a GFCF diet though we can't maintain it as he steal food and school are not on board. MSG seems especially awful. DS3 does not aprticularly. DS4 is a beige n bland kinda guy. All 3 (and me) have a casein intol that ahs to be addressed anyway.

Yes, it was the ref to your DD, nice, seeming like she was on Speed, sometimes that made me think of it.

I am not a reliable source on my own dcs' level of disability tbh: some days I talk as if we just got on with it, yet when I sat down to fill in the DLA form I couldn't bear to post it off, because there it was black on white how different are lives are to those of other parents around

We are doing without DLA and I speak to other parents as if we were just jogging along; it's only on here I can rant. But it is expensive to deal with a disability, it's all those little things that you take for granted.

No that list doesn;t becuase any child who fulfills that criteria clearly ahs need.

ADHD as a diagnostic title ascribes symptoms not an aetiology. that's not iunique, indeed it's common amongst teh mental health issues defined by teh DSM. Autism is the same.

It may be that bad aprenting and low level nutrition is an aetiologial root of ADHD but ADHD states the child's needs not the cause

That's not true Witty. My dd who is adhd and odd, has real problems mainly at school, where the teachers don't cope with her.

"Trendy labels...trendy lefty wish wash" Sorry if I don't take anything else you say seriously, somethingwitty!

bless. I wish i had tried it when she was a bit younger but her repertoire of foods has shrunk so much even in the last 6 months and she's not even 3 yet...

We are also on a very low level income, I grew up on a deprivation level estate: socio economic level does not dictate aprenting ability.

Not handed as cash? how should it be then? not one of my kdis has any input from porfessionals outside school: do wennot get it then?

Nice, if she's only 3 ideal time to try it! She really won't starve herself to death. At least send off a urine sample to Sunderland to see if there's any case for trying it.

'Money should be made available but not handed as cash when there is no way to ensure it is spent on things that are of benefit'

So who gets to decide what things are of benefit, if not the parents?

Diet does not help all kids with ADHD mine eat home cooked and as I said are older but you will also find a lot of kids with ASD also have some ADHD even if mild.It is also genetic my nephew has it as well diet didn't make a difference with him DD2 on the other hand has borderline ADHD and was very hypersensitive to additives as a small child if anyone gave her any you knew straight away,DS was only sensitive to caffiene and orange juice.

It took me a week cory to fill it in. I couldn't do it in one go as it was too much emotionally. Our community nurse got me the forms, demanded we fill them in and told us she would be back to check them a week later.

I have to be honest, we get higher rate care and I just use it for normal bill paying/food buying things. I don't save it for DS or his needs. Then again I still pay for all of the extra little expenses that DS's condition incurs. Plus I have to pay for movicol and tegaderm and horrendous amounts of car parking charges at hospital.

I don't have a child with ADHD or ASD or ADD etc, but I know how difficult it is to claim and would never undermine a parent who did claim DLA. I know people with DS's condition who are relatively well, and they would probably hold the same opinion of me claiming. But DS, the hospital and I know the level of work we have to do to maintain DS's health and tbh it's no-one else's business.

And what agency is coming shopping with me for GF CF foods, or to Ikea to replace beds? Who would be on call tocover petrol if ds1 needs a separate trip to a school event as the bus can't take him (he tends to attend week long trips just for a day so we take him).

Nah cash is all that works. A parent who sues their DLA worngly is penalised- a friend has her grandson and cannot get DLA for him as the Mum was banned due to misappropriation (genuine cae but spent it on herself- actually her eleccy bill). This invovled Social Services input and she lost care fo teh child.

Asking for agency allocation just increases costs massively anyhow.

{enalise the genuine for the faulty> Nope, completely immoral.

A lot of teh pervious thoughts about diet and ADHD have beens cientifcally proven as bunkum IIRC, eg sugar / coloirs / sweetenres.

that doesnt eman individual kids are not affected but as a grouping, nah

I don't really think we should be having any sort of dialogue with somethingwitty, it's just giving her strange viewpoint too much attention.

'does that list not bother you? Does that not that just describe young boys in the classroom?!'

it only describes young boys in classrooms if you ignore

(1) six (or more) of the following symptoms of inattention have persisted for at least 6 months to a degree that is maladaptive and inconsistent with developmental level:

'Brain gym is bollox, setting is the best tool for ensuring progress, inclusion leads to lowest common denominator education and I do not have the vast number of skillset for all these SN within one classroom'

I don't disagree with this entirely, but I do wonder, if the system is so ineffective at meeting the needs of these children, why you would want the money to be given to these dodgy system decision-makers instead of the parents (and lets face it, it really isn't THAT much money).

I would also like to point out a hypocrisy in your implication that there is too much nannying followed by a call to put the money in the hands of the nanies!

Agree with the poster above who said it's the inconsistency that is the problem. I am shocked at how some of you have to fight to get help for your DCs that is clearly needed and deserved but equally was shocked recently to find that someone we know gets DLA for their DC. Family are multi-millionaires, mother has never worked, teenage DC is type 1 diabetic but leads a normal (actually not normal, extremely privileged) life and represents our county at sport.

Now as you have all pointed out, some families may not want to discuss all the ins-and-outs with others but mother told friends it was not really needed but they were told to claim as "she may need to help with injections and it is important for her to cook healthy, balanced meals for DC". I don't understand how there can be such variations.

Can I also just tell you all that I know most of you would say you are not brave, you are just doing what has to be done but I never cease to be awed at how much some of you deal with. I have no direct experience of SN and threads like this have really opened my eyes, you all deserve a lot more appreciation than you get.

That was the point I was trying to make Peachy that some are affected by diet but others aren't same goes right across society I wasn't trying to say it was to with the condition sorry if thats what you thought I meant.