<Warning, may contain ranting and unreasonable-ness>. OAP's driving slowly whilst wearing hats.

[Mumofaflump]

Seriously? If you cant manage at least 40 mph down a perfectly good A road with a limit of 60 mph then, in my opinion, you shouldn't be driving.

Every morning I get stuck behind at least one person who crawls along at 35mph. Invariably they are driving fast expensive cars too!

Dont even get me started on those who drive fast cars slowly whilst wearing hats..... GRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Disclaimer - it is a perfectly good road, 60 is a perfectly sensible speed, conditions permitting.

Can we agree that old men in hats, driving jags are probably either a. thinking about golf or b. drunk or c. both, and should therefore be given a very wide berth indeed?

Brilliant thread - hoping I'll be able to remember laughing this much next time I'm stuck behind someone trying to make their journey really last.

My dh is NOT ancient but got his license pretty late (passed his test age 18 but then forgot to send off the slip saying so ) and drives like an OAP - drives me mad. His worst sins are slowing down when approaching a green light (the number of red lights shining down on me ranting at him!) and speeding up towards a red light. I reckon he puts the clutch in and freewheels but he swears he doesn't with true OAP security in his rightness and properness.

Hello everyone. I've just come along to apologise about my OAP Father's appalling driving and to promise you that in future I'll ensure that at least he takes the bloody hat off.

Erm...

Just one thing.

How comes you've all come across him, regardless of where in the world you're driving? :o

or the ones who take 5mins to pull away at the lights meaning that on that occasion they are the only car to go thru,or the ones in my village who give you a filthy look for daring to come off your OWN drive.

Just to inform .......... the tartan blanket is known as the Travelling Rug around these parts!

Much bunnetage in evidence around this area too - mostly weather-beaten old rural types.
However, I am truly sad to note the demise of the nodding dog and driving gloves.

I once saw an old local drivin' his John Deere trat-er aboot with a sheep in the cab as well. The sheep was probably called Denzil.

That is not unusual round these 'ere parts. We only got running water last week.

ledkr -the taking 5 mins to pull away from the lights is because, regardless of where the lights are (flat road/hill/middle of nowhere/city etc) they sit there in neutral with the handbrake on.

Under no circumstances can they debate doing anything until the lights have gone through the red/amber thing and are solely on green.

Once the lights are on green only then can the driver put the car in gear..........pause for a bit....look in the rear view mirror...pause a bit....indicate.......pause a bit longer.......check the position of their hat in the mirror.....pause .........let the handbrake off gently.........pull away just as the lights change to amber.

People over 50 should not be allowed to drive.

Only joking.

CroissantNeuf you are so SO right!

Glad you were joking MooMooFarm !! Actually, arrived back home from work today ranting about an incident that would have fitted perfectly on this thread!

They drive Honda Jazz's, Toyota (new hatchback thing) or Jaguars around here.

One good thing about them, is they always have a tin of travel sweets in the glove box, yummy.

My dad is alright, he just drives at 25 mph whereever he is.

In fifth gear

He is half blind though, so that's alright. The poor man dreads his eye test each year. At some point, he's going to be scuppered...

Wannabesybil - my singing teacher was another bat-out-of-hell OAP driver - and she drove a MG Midget, just to make things worse. She once drove me from Ludlow up to Shrewsbury (nice, windy country roads) for a singing exam, and I swear, by the time I got there, I wasn't worried about the exam at all - I was just glad to have survived!

She was married to a vicar, and my dad and I used to theorise that she had her own, dedicated, guardian angel. As did our vicar's wife - she didn't have a sports car, but drove like a total maniac - we did wonder whether a total inability to drive within the speed limit is characteristic of the genus Vicar's Wife. There was probably a whole squadron of angels tasked solely with keeping them and all those around them safe whenever they ventured out in their cars!

StayingDavidTenantsGirl Are you near me? I have a feeling you might be...

Nope, sorry, just checked your profile! :)

I've just looked all round me, Mumofalump, including under the desk, and I can confirm that you are not near me. If you were, I could offer you a cream cake!

Dammit, I like cream cakes and all.

I drove behind a daft old bint woman on an A road last week who slowed down every time another vehicle approached her going in the opposite fucking direction. How do these people get licences?

Oh don't get me started in this...

And then they have the bloody cheek to actually brake when going uphill round a slight bend. What's that all about eh?

Why do people have tissues on the aprcel shelf? How do they get one if they get an attack of snots whilst driving down the M^, do they have extra long arms?

Mumofalump - I could email one to you, but I think it would gum up the modem.

More -ing at the concept of OAPs with hugely long arms, reaching tissues off the back parcel shelf.

My dad (74) drives a Micra and has a DelBoy Trotter bunnett (he's Glaswegan)
He can't wear his hat in the Micra because the ceiling is so low.
Thing is he drives at 13 mph. He walks at 50mph,flapping his arms like a demented duck.

Hopes it's not hereditary

Oh and he has a 1992 UK road atlas that is so out of date that half the roads don't exsist now.

And Haynes Manuals for cars he doesn't own now.

It is always Micras. Or brand new Sazuki Swifts or Honda Jazzs. If I see that horrific little Micra bubble shape in front of me I'll overtake the fuckers ASAP. Bane of my fucking life.

It's not just the old folk in their bunnets. Anyone wearing a hat is instantly rendered 97% shiter at driving. See also boy racers in their baseball caps with peaks pointed skyward.

I noticed the other day though I had a straw trilby and a picnic rug on the parcel shelf of my car.