<Warning, may contain ranting and unreasonable-ness>. OAP's driving slowly whilst wearing hats.

[Mumofaflump]

Seriously? If you cant manage at least 40 mph down a perfectly good A road with a limit of 60 mph then, in my opinion, you shouldn't be driving.

Every morning I get stuck behind at least one person who crawls along at 35mph. Invariably they are driving fast expensive cars too!

Dont even get me started on those who drive fast cars slowly whilst wearing hats..... GRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Disclaimer - it is a perfectly good road, 60 is a perfectly sensible speed, conditions permitting.

Yes hullygully, bunnets. The more bunnettage, the more unpredictable.

crocheted cushions. And tissue boxes.

The tissue boxes sometimes have frilly covers too.

If you spot one of those thats worth bonus points

Yes, the old fuckers.
I had one this morning, doing 15 mph out of Sainsburys, round a roundabout and then all the way up through the village, I wanted to ram him and his stupid hat off the road.

Oh! I've got another one!

A couple of weeks ago I was driving down a side road, like a normal person, and suddenly there was a woman, on a bike, with a set of stepladders attached to her basket at the front - HORIZONTALLY. (Not that vertically would be any better obv).

I couldn't overtake her because she was wider than an Eddie Stobart.

That's mad right? How did she even attach the bloody thing to the basket at the front? With magic?

The backseat is usually covered with one of those tartan blankets aswell...

What about the ones going at 10-20mph, who brake for speed bumps, but then almost run over people they've not seen?

I realised my Nana shouldn't be driving anymore when she reversed up the M4 after missing the junction. She never wears a hat in the car though, she sees it as 'inside' and therefore rude.

cervical mucus I bet. It's tougher than superglue.

PMSL at the ladders on a bike

It conjures up real Laurel and Hardy type scenarios -knocking pedestrians over as she cycles along etc

croissant I live in the depths of the Dorset countryside and round here the farmers all drive dilapidated land-rovers round the lanes like crazy fools. Usually the entire suspension is only attached with a bit of baler twine.

I shouldn't be driving either. Yesterday I drove into the back of a perfectly innocent woman who had inexplicably stopped in the road to turn off, and today I got out of the car and went about my business forgetting to turn the engine off or take the keys.

Candy!

She looked a bit long in the tooth for cervical mucas. She was also cycling while wearing a very long skirt, and I kept thinking that if her skirt gets caught in the wheels or chail or on the pedal or owt then she is going to be in a world of OOF

How on earth diid she balance, Shirely?

Have you noticed that these 30-mph-ers always seem to pull out when turning left, as if they think they'll hit the kerb if they don't get well out into the middle of the road to do a turn? Thus preventing you from overtaking until they've completed the full 60-second procedure?

re: tartan blankets -my mum has carried the same one in her car (not the same car obviously) for over 40 years yet I can never recall it ever being needed !!

Well may I also whinge about mothers with small children in the car who turn round to talk to their kids whilst driving. The one I encountered this morning was driving unreasonable slowly - then when she almost stopped to make conversation with her offspring I saw why I think my death-ray glare must have permeated her rose-tinted bubble because she pulled off the road just after that.

You never know when you might come across a chilly Highlander. Better safe than sorry.

There's an old hat-wearing man in my village who pulls right in so he's almost on the pavement and STOPS if a car comes the other way. He only does this on the perfectly straight, perfectly wide, perfectly normal 50mph road in the east. On the windy, narrow, can't-see-around-the-corner country roads, where pulling over or slowing down might be sensible, he zooms around breaking the speed limit and not moving over at all.

(I know it's the same man because the car is quite distinctive.)

He and his wife work together to use the petrol pump, too. He pumps while she watches the gauge and tells him when to stop. She invariably ends up tangled in the wire and they shout at one another on the forecourt.

You all beat me to it was going to mention the box of tissues which appears to be a speed limiter preventing the car going over 40 mph (perhaps it dates back to the early days of travel when it was believed driving fast could induce nose bleeds etc!)

comealong, I love them already

I was driving behind massive bunnetage yesterday at 30 in a 60 zone - I swore nonstop internally for about ten minutes and then bunnetage stopped very sharply in the middle of the road about 4 feet from the kerb.

I thought I'd better check she was ok so I pulled into a lay-bye and walked back. I enquired of bunnetage if she was ok and she looked at me quizzically and enquired if I thought they (pointing to bush at side of road) were elderflowers as she wanted to make cordial.

I confirmed that indeed they were elderflower and she got out of the car abandoning it in the middle of the road and started to pick them

I said "er, you'd better not leave your car there in the middle of the road" and she then asked me to park it in the layby for her.

I did and walked back to her with her keys

I have a tartan blanket it my boot for in case I get caught in a snow storm or have an unexpected picnic emergency

I don't know LRD - Forward motion? I swear it's true!

Oh yes OP I feel and share your rage.

These kind of people only look in the mirror to check if they have their hat on and therefore don't notice the queue of furious, purple-faced, gesticulating MNers people stuck behind them

They drive slowly as otherwise the hat would fall over their eyes, and they'd run over Marjorie from the Luncheon Club.

HTH

And.... those who SLOW DOWN whilst approaching a green traffic light! FFS why? You don't slow down in case they change, you speed up incase they change.

My maternal gandparents had both their licenses taken away! Bedstefar is mostly blind, can only see out of the corners of his eyes and Bedstemor is very short and deaf.

She couldnt reach the break pedal so he kept one hand on the handbrake at all times.

Bedstefar also did the navigating so would only notice junctions whe they were actually on them, this resulted in him yelling "turn left" and yanking the handbrake up!

'Twas scary shit.

They both wore flat caps in the car...