Poor Kids

[NearlySpring]

Documentary on BBC1 now.

Sat here in tears watching this show following children living in poverty.

One woman, with 3 young girls all under 8. Her partner left her alone and she is struggling with money. The girls were given a sausage roll each for dinner. They are let out to play on a building site and derelict houses- where the he'll is the mother? Mother comes on saying how she can't cope financially- kids saying they have to miss meals as mummy can't always afford food. Next scene, mother has acrylic nails and a massive dog!

AIBU to ask if she can't afford to feed her kids basic cheap meals how the he'll does she feed a massive dog that is bigger than her 3 kids put together!

It must be terrible to be in that situation but surely you get your priorities straight. Who has a pet if they have no money?!!

Wonder if it is better to be rural poor than urban poor? We live in a rural area and haven't got a lot of money (nothing like this, but still) but there's lots of space and forests for DS to run around in. And lots of farmers nearby who sell things to locals for cheap. The grocery store is more expensive here but we get to Aldis in the "big city" every few weeks. Just wondering...

Just watched this documentary last night and it made me very sad.
The state of the housing was horrendous and in the 21st century nobody should be living like that. Especially children. :(
However, the fact that a lot of the children were missing meals made me really angry. Even on the lowest amount of benefit, there is no excuse for not being able to feed a child a healthy, filling meal 3 times a day. Pots of soup and porridge are cheap to make for example. Perhaps the parents don't know how to budget for and prepare foods like these? If this is the case then more needs to be done to educate them.
I did also notice that Sam's family was paying for TV through a meter (which I assume they pay a TV licence for) and had a Playstation 3 and Internet connection. How much does that cost I wonder?
I know a lot of you will say "why shouldn't they have these things" and in a way I do agree, there seemed to be no other form of entertainment/days out available to them and the dad was using the Internet to look for a job but for me, if it was a choice between having these items (which use up valuable electricity too) or putting food in my child's belly, they would have to go.

I thought sams family were the ones providing decent meals? It was one of tje girls who went without.

Sam also said he sometimes had no lunch.

I questioned on another thread if benefits (although obviously pitiably low) were really not enough to feed your children and was told that sometimes it's a choice and if the children eat the parents don't.

I'm sorry. I am firmly for benefits being raised and children being supported but I cannot believe that even on very little money you cannot provide a sandwich for lunch or a cheap filling soup or casserole.

But I am obviously wrong. In which case it is a scandal that benefits do not provide enough for the most essential basics of life.

CheerfulYank I think it's easier being skint in the country ... we're OK now but back in the day we were heating the place with scavinged wood and eating a lot of rabbit stew ... You can grow your own veg, keep chickens, the kids can run around outside ... I used to live in London but it's much less stressy out here in the middle of no-where, no drug dealers downstairs for a start!

My kids - teenagers- would tell you they skipped lunch because there was 'no food in the house'. What they mean is theres nothing they want and they didnt want sandwhiches again. Tough. Its whats there and its cheap.

But even bread is going up in price to levels never seen before.

The tv meter was to pay for white goods in the kitchen. Have you seen advert for buy as you view? So if the company want £30 a month they will charge the family.basically £1 a day to get the tv to work.

Sam's dad has posted on the Facebook page for the programme, as have his friends and Sam's sister. The playstation was 2nd hand and a Christmas present.

I agree with the people on here saying it is down to luck. When i was in homeless accomodation for 8 monthss i was given a run down house on one of the worst estates in my area. I remember going to see it. I cried and cried. I fought the council tooth and nail through the appeals system and had numerous people supporting my appeal. It was extremely hard fighting this while living in homeless accomodation with 2 kids.

I can understand how somone would just give up the fight and end up in that house. I felt like doing it myself at times. I was extremely lucky, fought tooth and nail and ended up with a decent house. Somone with not as much grit and determinatioon as me would probably not no where to start. Not many people win their appeals I have since exchanged and have a house on an estate where most of the council houses have been bought.

The house incidently was given to a 23 year old single man as he was the only person who would take it.

God knows what would happen to me if i had moved in. I would be scared to live there and would probably have gone into private paying extra rent and in poverty.

I can manage, my kids dont miss a meal. They are clean and well dressed. I get by without luxuries. I often wonder where i would be if i didnt have my house which i am extremely grateful for.

To all the people who wonder why the kids aren't eating porridge and nourishing soups. Well

1. That kind of food takes a lot of power to cook, you have to cook it for a long time. If you have no electricity on, how can you make a warming soup? Most poor people get their electricity on a key meter: the rate is FAR HIGHER than than most of us pay.
2. In poor areas it is much more difficult to buy fresh healthy food. Often there is no access to reasonable shopping facilities. Over-priced corner shops are often the only ones around -- it's all very well to say go to the supermarket, but if it is a bus-ride away, then no chance. And how many of us would like to walk a couple of miles holding all our shopping?
3. Study after study has shown that when you are on a tight budget junk food gets you more calories per penny than healthy food. And it is easier to cook. If you are depressed as well (and being poor is very depressing) the last thing you think is, oh yes, let's make vegetable soup. No. You think, let's have a pasty, so much more comforting.

Can't believe how judgemental people are.

It's true about access to fresh food. here we have many older people so a similarly vulnerable group: tehre is a Spar, and a grovers. Spar is as shit as they can be. grocers is a silly over priced boutique place- can't work out how theya re still in business; you can get baby organic spinach but no broccolli or carrots. If you are on a budget they are useless.

Sorry re food far too many excuses.

My dp's family were very poor and they did walk 2 miles with 3 kids and a pram to buy food because they had no choice.My mil had a veg patch and learnt to make a meal out of the very little she had to hand.1000s did it,1000s do it.

I can't believe people actually think carrying heavy shopping is some kind of hardship it isn't. If it gives you exercise and access to cheap food it's a good thing.

Sorry people just take making excuses for people too far. Fine provide people with benefits and housing but at some point people have to take responsibility for themselves and feeding their kids.

I stocked up at Sainsburys last week Basics veg soup 17p a tin, Basics cream cheese 40p(fab sandwich filler for 3 days),Basics oats are peanuts(and porridge actually takes 5 mins max to heat up).Couples could share the cost of a taxi monthly and cram it with Basics.

I think more education into budgeting,healthy eating is needed but you can't force everybody.

Making excuse after excuse for families not looking after their children properly just doesn't do them any favours or more importantly their children.

Re not having electricity to cook food. As milamae pointed out porridge takes 5 minutes to cook. I can make a pot of veg soup simmering it for an hour, feeds our family of 3 for 3 nights and costs about £2 to make. Might not have as many calories as high fat food but it puts something in your stomach.
If there is electricity available do you choose to watch tv or cook food for your children?
As the poster above pointed out also, why is carrying shopping considered a hardship?

I agree with what Mila says but its not black and white. Some people have no idea how to run a house, budget or prepare a healthy home cooked meal.

I am lucky, i can. After reading some posts on here i can see the only way i manage to do this is as i have a decent council house. I dont have to top up rent and that would be the difference between eating and not eating, being in debt or not being in debt.

Some people also need to help themselves. There are also people who piss their benefit money up the wall and let their kids go without. Do you think if these people had more money and a job they would treat their kids any different. I dont. People in all walks of life do this, not just people on benefits

I agree when all is equal mila.

dad and his siblings would poach and steal to eat. Alkie Grandad drank the wages; Nan was bedriiddden so walking any distance at all or gardening was indeed too much to ask.

There;s also a huge amount of low level Sn in the poorer population. I woked with a family that SSD wanted to take the baby from, we managed to teach them the skills of cooking, shopping, budgeting and family became independent and functional. however the resource that managed that has now ended due to funding issues. Simultaneously social service depts are discussing raising their threshold for taking kkids into care as they are also broke.

I have a veg patch (not so esy in a flat or B&B though, as many poor people are). I cook from scratch, budget and we do alright. I am blessed however with a fully functioning and healthy brain and body.

And YY to rent top ups

As with the lady I mentioned earlier who faces £160 a month rent top up becuase cuncil cannot provide the adapted house she now needs but there is no flexibility within housing benefot to allow them to supplement her housing benefit to cover it (2 wheelchair users including ehr so hardly going to trek to supermarket or garden, DH long gone).

Her council doesn't just have a waiting list: the house she needs does not exist. She will ahve to find the top up and crawl into her own bathroom s doors too narrow for her chair.

Disgusting.

I don't think there was enough information in the programme to give a true idea of how much money the people had or what their outgoings were. The only reference I heard was Sams dad saying what he got a week between JA, child benefit and tax credits and it was about £130 a week for the family of 3. While I think this isn't much, it is possible to pay for gas/electric, basic clothing and food. It didn't say whether he had to pay rent or council tax. We also don't know if he had debts or not, if so, then £130 a week may not be enough to cover his outgoings.
In the long run, it makes sense to educate people how to budget effectively, prioritise their needs and avoid getting into debt. Life skills which they can pass onto their children. Giving them more money is a short-term fix and doesn't guarantee that the kids will be any better off.

Not everyone knows how to cook. Sad and ridiculous but so very very true.
Bring back Home Economics in school.
But not all the sewing bit. I was crap at making things (never finished one item of clothing), however it did come in handy when I found myself patching DS's school trousers last week. I didn't do a bad job and was really proud of myself.

Agree about Home Ec; absolutely.

I'd offer to go in and do a few classes at teh local school for free, I did recntly a few times- we did flapjacks once as the etacher couldn't work out difference between a tsp and tbsp (!!! ) and was going to do naans but they ran out of time doing the India module.

Teddy £130 would not be used to cover rent unless there was a shortfall on it if tenant was in private housing- happens a lot now.

Council tax probably not as well though arrears etc can mess it up.

Cheap clothing is good but some places still insist on logos and the rules against that are only guidelines: ds1's comp has a very low income intake and the unfirom will cost almost £200 including the logo items. if you think someone's income is £130, and then thibnk whether you could afford (or I could afford) going on for twice my weekly income on unfirom- no chance.

I wondered about school uniform grants too. I'm in Scotland and know several people whose kids get a grant (think it's around £150 a year) for uniform, and you dont necessarily have to be on benefits to get it, just income under a certain amount.
Are benefits such as this (and free school meals) the same nationwide or are they a regional privilege?
Sam mentioned at the end of the programme that he was going to be getting free school meals and I was very surprised he hadn't been getting them already.

No im in Gateshead and dont believe i can get a uniform grant but i do get free school meals which i think is national

Done differntly here, some on low income get it some don;t- based on receipt o free school meals, and if you get one penny in working tax credits it's a no. So someone self employed but not making a profit (eg start up after redundancy) would be excluded.

Dunno about elsewhere but here FSMs are done termly, so if parents lose work or split mid term you ahve to wait. there's also low uptake due to the pride: kids get a red card to hand in at dinner and it's a red flag to the snobs as it were.

So it seems to be a 'postcode lottery' then with regard to some benefits.
Terrible.
I did notice the kids in Glasgow seemed a lot better off materially than the others and didnt say anything about not getting enough to eat. Their housing conditions were dreadful but otherwise they didn't seem 'deprived'.
The thing that got to me most was the despair of all the children 'not wanting to grow up', 'never going to have enough money' and talking about low self esteem. It easy to see how they will perhaps have the mindset that things will never get any better and what's the point of trying to improve their lives, causing the whole cycle of poverty to continue for future generations.

I woulnt use a free uniform if the other people know. There are only 3 kids on free school meals at my DD's school and 2 of them are mine. They know they are and ask why they dont have dinner money envelopes so i tell them i pay it by cheque to the secretary