Poor Kids

[NearlySpring]

Documentary on BBC1 now.

Sat here in tears watching this show following children living in poverty.

One woman, with 3 young girls all under 8. Her partner left her alone and she is struggling with money. The girls were given a sausage roll each for dinner. They are let out to play on a building site and derelict houses- where the he'll is the mother? Mother comes on saying how she can't cope financially- kids saying they have to miss meals as mummy can't always afford food. Next scene, mother has acrylic nails and a massive dog!

AIBU to ask if she can't afford to feed her kids basic cheap meals how the he'll does she feed a massive dog that is bigger than her 3 kids put together!

It must be terrible to be in that situation but surely you get your priorities straight. Who has a pet if they have no money?!!

@happymumofone. A lot of people living with the kind of housing conditions in the documentary do work. About half of those living in poverty work. Where's the choice there? I know people with degrees doing minimum wage jobs so it isn't all lack of aspirations. It's lack of jobs.

Benefits are not always a lifestyle choice, often they are a trap due to childcare issues etc. Fair enough some people choose not to work, however I find your comments ill-informed and unfair.

It was heartbreaking in places.

i could only watch 10/15 mins of this show i was sat open mouthed with tears in my eyes one wee girl sitting in her bedroom doorway with crap all over the floor then her dirty disgusting toenails. i shudder to think of ever living like that my kids take precedant over everything in life my DD is well dressed well kept always clean even if we were poor there are charity shops where ppl can get good quality clothes and poundland exists so they could buy brushes and nail clippers as for the state their clothes were in . most councils have some sort of transform service these days where poorer families can get household things for reasonable prices i donate to ours whenever we update in the home. its just so sad to see.

It's true that being clean costs nothing BUT...my son gets a bath every night and he's still dirty before his bath the next day. He runs around playing outside and going to the beach and is sandy and filthy by bath time the next night.

I was heartbroken at those kids accounts and the poverty they have to endure, however there seems to be a great lack of pride concerning the parents of the children. The children were on filthy matresses with no bedding, the wallpaper was ripped up with writing on the walls, and the floor was mess like it needed a good hoover.

I am sorry but even the poorest people who live in the Indian slums have pride and keep their place looking reasonable. What does it take to get a roll or two of cheap wall paper from the car boot or charity shop or a pot of paint to tidy up the walls, or not to let your children draw on the walls or to run a hoover every now and again?

One boy had one girls school shirt for the week , you can get dirt cheap school shirts in Asda or Tescos and get a size bigger so it lasts longer.

In george in ASDA a two pack of school shirts is £3.50, so the right number of school shirts would cost less than 3 packs of fags.

Grubby hands and feet were just like most children but overall the children were clean and wearing clean clothes.

Interesting about choice. Know a mum of five whose dh has walked. She has been injured and cannot walk at all now. She lives in a bungalow but council cannot afford to adapt for 3 years. She cannot get rehoused into a council house as the council have no large adapted houses. The housing benefit cuts mean she will have to find an extra £160 pcm for a house that is so unsuitable she has to drag herself by her arms into her bathroom.

Nice. great choice huh?

Besides choices take time. Dh's business is finally taking off: it has taken 3 years of slog, study and we will probably need state help for another year or two but he has slogged his guts off with 2 jobs or a job and a FT study course (for legally required quals for job).

And a significant minority of the pooerst and most disaffected people in society have indiagnosed learning disabilities- there's enough research on the prison population to know that.

And if you tell my ds3 (ASD) he has choice I will possible die laughing!

When you face disadvantage the firstt thing that pops off is choice. Choice is a luxury good!

not that I have truck with someone feeding a dog over kids as well mind; but after years working in sector have yet to meet anyone without a back story that explains their situation.

'I don't mean nannying in an accusing way, but sort of taking people under a more experienced wing and teaching them how to cook and all that stuff. In the long run that would teach them how to be more self sufficient surely.

'

something we used to do to an extent at homestart (along many other things- depended on family)

It w0rked

my homestart scheme went bust

go figure

Maybe they dont have a hoo er? And pots of paint cost money. My lounge is all peeling wallpeper - no drawing as kids are teens but its disgusting and depressing. Its needs repapeei g. But that costs money and i canr do it. So i undertsamd the wallpaper

Do you really think a bit of wallpaper and hoovering is the answer?

I am speechless and embarrassed/horrified at some of the cruel and contemptuous, stuffy and non-empathetic comments people have written on this thread.

The children in the film are compassionate, funny, articulate, creative, wise. Is not that the point of a film like this? To impact upon humanity?

It is quite easy to go out and properly help people you know. Put your ugly minds and comments where your mouth is.

Funny how, if a TV programme featured a thin dog needing help, there would be phone calls from strangers willing to take that dog.

But a family in desperate need of someone to help fix their washing machine/cure damp/do some re-decorating or replastering/ offer mum a proper nail job/offer the dad a JOB THAT EARNS HIM 400 QUID A WEEK (which is what he said he wanted) for free - what is there? nowt. Judgemental comments of the like on here that m,ake me ashamed to live in this country and not a single offer of help.

Some MNtters - total strangers - have been offered much, much more help on here than the people in this film, who we have actually visibly witnessed struggling.

There but for the grace of god go we all.

Choice Happymumofone? Do you seriously believe that people in this situation chose to be there? FFS.

Ok fair enough, but tell kids not to draw on wall, or vandalise the bed and to treat things whatever they are with respect, I spend all day telling my dd who has ASD not to do this or that. When my ancient hoover broke I borrowed one from a friend next door.

until we could afford fix it (not afford to buy a new one)

I don';t think you were wathcing and listening very carefully, piglet.

Cleaning products aren't free either

Estimated cost £162 /year.
Source: ONS Family Spending Survey.

' Upping benefits wont help at all as it will simply encourage more not to work and is very likely not to be spent on what it was intended for.
'
Hmm.

We're obviously getting some state help (DLA, carers, some wtc) and we don't need any more, though with rising food prices and heating that will no doubt change.

However I would support rises to enable people to cover existing debts etc, after all unpaid debts damage the economy but covering debts on benefits takes food from chidlren's mouths. It would need to be tight and for debts accrued before benefit claim only of course.

And i;d like to see a scheme to enable people with a mortagge to get help if they lose work (the insurance schemes being notorious0- maybe something that invovles a lien on house sale so state does get money back eventually (stopping the profit possibility). There will be enough pressure palced on housing with teh (IMO) syupid new HB rules (and no it will not affect us- atm anyway, who knows with lie?) without a multitude of foreclosures on top. As for PIP- with the expected ATOS set up- pah. contemptible.

I do support the aim to make working possible of the new system- a friend has a zero hour contract and every time she gets work she has to cancel her HB / tax credits etc then set them up a few days later leaving her without cash for weeks, that's stupid. the principle is fine but the mechanism bollcoksed.

Clanging, there are various threads about this programme today and on all of them posters have asked how they can help the families.

poor children.

Nails and a dog are the last things the mother should be thinking of

I know lots of parents with money who don't get down and play in the sand with their little ones like that mum was doing. Just saying.

Dogs are fairly ubiquitous on estates aren't they, security against burglars etc? I didn;t see this and rpesume Mum didn;t do it but I know if we lived on one I would have one for the boys to take out if they went out to play.

And burglaries are so common on some estates it is unreal; dog better than a burglar alarm.

Depedning on circs, nails can be done for a fiver or by a mate. That doesn't mean nobody is throwing their cash away on fripperies but does mean that you can't know by looking.

Thank you to the poster who posted the link where you can give practical help and donations to. If everyone who was moved enough for whatever reason to write on this thread donated a pound or one item of clothing I am sure this would help the children immensely.

Aside from this I wanted to say how beautiful, intelligent, wise and inspirational all the children that featured on this documentary were. I couldn't get it out of my mind that if they had been born to a wealthy London Suburb, they would have very worthwhile and important careers in their adulthood.

Dogs are necessary for security on some estates, especially for single mums who are seen as vulnerable and an easy touch. As for her nails, believe me they cost very very little. Give the woman a break, she was going to be on TV. And instead of focussing on nails and a dog, look at the poverty and despair of the children.