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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU for not wanting to buy tap shoes for DD to wear once.

51 replies

Aimsmum · 07/06/2011 19:46

Every year DD's school puts on a school show. Rehearsals start almost as soon as school goes back after the summer holidays and the show is near the end of term.

So DD has a part, the show is "sometime soon..probably next week" Schools stop for summer here in just over 2 weeks time, so it will be next week, as the following week, will be sports day.

So the kids are staying behind every day this week til 4 to rehearse, so DD comes home today (at 4.25) with a costume list for her, given to her as she was leaving, that she needs for tomorrow! She owns one thing on the list...now some of the things I don't mind buying that she will get to wear again, vest top and shorts in a specific colour etc (although she wont have them for tomorrow!!) but the other thing on her list that she needs for tomorrow is tap shoes!

Now DD doesn't own tap shoes, there is no tap dancing in the show, DD is on stage for about 10 mins in total. I am not tap shoes for her to wear for 10 mins. I looked into getting a cheap pair from ebay, but if the show is at the start of next week chances are they wont even arrive in time, so I am sending her in with a pair of sparkly black slip on shoes from M&S and a note. DD thinks I am totally being unreasonable, I have looked on the website of a local dance shop and they start at £28. So am I as cruel as DD is making out? (the shoes she is going in with are nice BTW)

OP posts:

katvond · 07/06/2011 19:48

If she's going to wear them once then no YANBU
If it's a hobby she will take up the YABU
:)
You know your daughter best OP

bluebobbin · 07/06/2011 19:48

Buy the tap shoes, tell her to keep them in perfect condition and then sell them on eBay.

beesimo · 07/06/2011 19:48

Get the bairn her tap shoes you can always put them on ebay afterwards OR be able to send her into the yard to practise her tap dancing when ever she gets underfoot ha ha

sims2fan · 07/06/2011 19:49

Do none of the other girls in her class have a pair she could borrow? Plenty of girls do tap dancing so I'm sure there must be a pair belonging to someone in the school.

FabbyChic · 07/06/2011 19:50

Blue so still lose over half the money for one wear? Pointless,

beesimo · 07/06/2011 19:50

bluebobbin

7 seconds ya beat me by a short head!

jasper · 07/06/2011 19:50

I thought you could get taps put onto ordinary shoes at a cobblers, but I may be wrong. You could get them put on her school shoes as presumeably she will get a new pair next term?

I agree with you, I wd never buy tap shoes for one ten minute performance

Original poster

Aimsmum · 07/06/2011 19:51

What!! You are all meant to agree with me!!

She wont take it up, she hates dancing, there isn't even tap dancing in the show, it is tap shoe madness!!

Really you think I should spend £30 for 10 mins wear!! I am shocked! This is not the MN I know!!

OP posts:

jasper · 07/06/2011 19:52

or are you on facebook?
put out a request to borrow a pair.

Local mums do that all the time here. works really well

Original poster

Aimsmum · 07/06/2011 19:54

Oh good, i have people in agreement now!

Good idea about the getting taps put on, but there isn't any tap dancing so I am confused about there even being a need for taps!

None of her friends do dancing, so i don't think I could borrow a pair, and DD comes home herself so i am not at school gates to ask about. But good ideas, thanks!

OP posts:

AandK · 07/06/2011 19:55

I have a similar problem to this my ds is playing the part of Fizzy from bugsy malone in his school play and I have to provide the costume now the clothes were easy to find and relatively cheap but in the script it says he does a tap dance. Now in no uncertain terms am I paying for tap shoes! If the school want him to tap then they can provide the shoes!! they can keep them for other productions!! :)

SpecialFriedRice · 07/06/2011 19:56

If the black shoes have thick soles put some metal tacks in the soles at the toe and heel!! Ha ha! We used to do that at school so we click clacked down the hall...

YANBU though to not buy them... Total waste of money! And whats the point if theres not actual tap dancing in the show?

CandiceMariePratt · 07/06/2011 19:56

What size is she?

jasper · 07/06/2011 19:57

just spoke to a cobbler!
You CAN get taps put on normal shoes

Original poster

Aimsmum · 07/06/2011 20:01

Exactly AandK they can be used for future performances.

I will suggest the tacks, I think DD might actually kill me!!

Thanks Jasper, I would get taps if there was tap dancing, might add that into my note.

She is a 2 and a half, sometimes a 3.

OP posts:

shrinkingnora · 07/06/2011 20:01

Perhaps it's a typo and they meant crap shoes?

I'll get me coat....

Original poster

Aimsmum · 07/06/2011 20:05

Crap shoes would be no problem!

If they want shoes by 9am tomorrow, they will need to make do with the M&S ones anyway, you can't send someone home with a note at 4, and expect unusual items to materialise the next morning anyway!! I'll buy the other things before Friday, which wont go down too well either probably.

OP posts:

AandK · 07/06/2011 20:07

See I don't think some teachers understand the pressure they actually put on us. they tell children things have to be done in a certain way so dc comes back to us with the demands as they feel the pressure too. It is ridiculous. Its not the west end it is just the school play

Original poster

Aimsmum · 07/06/2011 20:07

I found these on ebay but estimate delivery is 7-9 days and if the show is early next week, it's no good.

OP posts:

Original poster

Aimsmum · 07/06/2011 20:09

I totally agree, DD genuinely seems a bit worried to be going in tomorrow without tap shoes, it is ridiculous. All for the sake of 10 mins on stage where no one will be able to see her feet really anyway!!

OP posts:

Firawla · 07/06/2011 20:10

I doubt she will be the only one without them, the other shoes sound okay to me so i would say yanbu

shrinkingnora · 07/06/2011 20:11

I cannot believe that

a) anyone thinks you should fork out for a pair of tap shoes and

b) that any teacher would seriously expect a parent to come up with them

What does the note actually say? Does it say 'if you have them' or anything like that?

I work in a school and none of our staff would do this. And we are careful not to expect anything that costs more than a tiny bit of money.

AandK · 07/06/2011 20:14

I would send the note and also remind them that they need to give you more notice in the future thankfully my ds has given me plenty of notice but they haven't specifically asked for the tap shoes yet but if they do they can take a running jump :)

fluffybutt · 07/06/2011 20:16

Do you have a local dance school/club nearby, I had to get some for DD and local dance school sold me a pair of second hand ones for £3, its worth a try. If not don't worry I am sure sparkly ones will be just fine.

Original poster

Aimsmum · 07/06/2011 20:25

It is printed letter, with a blank space for the items to be written in, so it says "could your child please bring in........for tomorrow"

In an annoying turn of events DD has just put on the M&S shoes and they do not fit! Her school shes really wouldn't do, she lives in boots, converse and basketball boots (not the most girliest of girls!) So looks like I am going to have to buy something, am tempted to go with a pair of cheap shoes still rather than £30 tap shoes.

No dance school locally that I can think of.

Well she wont have anything to take in tomorrow now, I am going to be popular...will need to write a new note!!!

OP posts:

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