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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for not wanting to buy tap shoes for DD to wear once.

51 replies

Aimsmum · 07/06/2011 19:46

Every year DD's school puts on a school show. Rehearsals start almost as soon as school goes back after the summer holidays and the show is near the end of term.

So DD has a part, the show is "sometime soon..probably next week" Schools stop for summer here in just over 2 weeks time, so it will be next week, as the following week, will be sports day.

So the kids are staying behind every day this week til 4 to rehearse, so DD comes home today (at 4.25) with a costume list for her, given to her as she was leaving, that she needs for tomorrow! She owns one thing on the list...now some of the things I don't mind buying that she will get to wear again, vest top and shorts in a specific colour etc (although she wont have them for tomorrow!!) but the other thing on her list that she needs for tomorrow is tap shoes!

Now DD doesn't own tap shoes, there is no tap dancing in the show, DD is on stage for about 10 mins in total. I am not tap shoes for her to wear for 10 mins. I looked into getting a cheap pair from ebay, but if the show is at the start of next week chances are they wont even arrive in time, so I am sending her in with a pair of sparkly black slip on shoes from M&S and a note. DD thinks I am totally being unreasonable, I have looked on the website of a local dance shop and they start at £28. So am I as cruel as DD is making out? (the shoes she is going in with are nice BTW)

OP posts:
shrinkingnora · 07/06/2011 20:29

If you are desperate and really want to get her some could you post a thread on here asking to borrow some?

I would be sending a note in that said "I am sorry but I am unable to provide some of these items at such short notice and because it is an outrageous request If there are any problems with this, please fuck off contact me to discuss". Let us know what happens - I am intrigued to see how mad they really are....

wotnochocs · 07/06/2011 20:33

the school won't expect you to buy tap shoes for a one off or to have stuff for the next day.

Original poster
Aimsmum · 07/06/2011 20:36

Borrowing would be a good idea, but again it is the timing, as if they are needed for Monday/Tuesday, I might end up not getting them on time, as I always miss parcels as I am out at work, then have to go and collect them from the sorting office which has rubbish opening hours (also mainly when i am at work)

I am going to write a note basically saying she doesn't have any tap shoes, what else will do, I will let you know the response! And for the record the school are really quite mad!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Aimsmum · 07/06/2011 20:39

They do. I have the note right here! This isn't their worst short notice request by a long shot! Grin

OP posts:
shrinkingnora · 07/06/2011 20:41

Is it a private school? Not sure why but I imagined it was.....

Original poster
Aimsmum · 07/06/2011 20:43

No just your average state primary.

OP posts:
shrinkingnora · 07/06/2011 20:48

Trust me, it's not average Grin

WhereYouLeftIt · 07/06/2011 20:52

When you write the note, try to include something about their request being at such short notice, you would appreciate more time to source items that you should not be expected to have to hand?

Original poster
Aimsmum · 07/06/2011 21:14

No you are right, the head teacher thinks she is in Fame! Grin

Good point whereyouleftit, I will redraft my letter again.

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 07/06/2011 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elphabadefiesgravity · 07/06/2011 21:19

YANBU

A student of mine was told to buy tap shoes for a school show that did include a tap routine and I thought they were being unreasonable becasue they specified white and the most of the kids had black.

What size is your dd? Oddly enough I have just been rooting in the dance school tap shoes collection to get dd a new pair.

It is a palavar to put taps on normal shoes.

Itsjustafleshwound · 07/06/2011 21:25

Have you tried a wanted ad in Freecycle?

Could you not go to a local dance school and see if they could help you out?

Personally, I would do 'best efforts' to get the shoes (cheeky if they want them in less than 24hrs) but I wouldn't fork out any money for something that is only going to be worn for a short period of time.

NonnoMum · 07/06/2011 21:30

YANBU

My dd nearly disowned me when I sent her in with "the wrong type of halo" for the Nativity. We had a hair band one where the halo is on wires above the head, but, oh no, everyone else just had a huge strip of silver tinsel.

She nearly phoned SS to come and get her.

purplepidjin · 07/06/2011 21:46

I was going to suggest a charity shop but seriously, £20??????????? Shock

Having taps replaced at the cobblers is at least a tenner.

I suggest £2 plimsolls with a bit of tinfoil on the toe and heel ends of the sole and send the bill to the stupid teacher

Or, try a fancy dress shop.

youarekidding · 07/06/2011 21:56

Most dance schools will have 2nd (and more!) hand pairs around. May be able to lend you a pair or sell them usually about £2-5.

Where abouts are you in the world? My sis and Cousin are dance teachers so I may be able to source some freebees and send them. Obv would have to ask as most parents want to sell them and wait for money Grin and would need to make sure you get them in time. But if you don't ask you don't get. Grin

youarekidding · 07/06/2011 21:58

Actually I have some taps on DS old (child size 8 -aahh!) tap shoes. I could try and remove them and send them for you to glue on some plimsolls if that helps?

purplepidjin · 07/06/2011 22:02

Youarekidding please tell me you're living up to your username! What if one flew off and hit someone in the eye?!

would teach stupid teacher a lesson about unreasonable requests

LittleMissFlustered · 07/06/2011 22:04

Hit facebook, freecycle and any other thing like that you have access to. Somebody somewhere will have a pair. Up until a year ago I had two pairs of red and one pair of silver tap shoes lurking about the place. They breed, I'm telling you!

Good luck :)

youarekidding · 07/06/2011 22:07

She'll be standing on them she'll be fine - OP says she's not actually dancing. Confused Seriously they do glue on - the 'tinies' in class often have flatter ones glued on and they can't walk in the normal ones.

eandemum · 07/06/2011 22:09

What size do you need?
I have a spare pair gathering dust - waiting for a car boot sale!

FWIW I would send her in her school shoes (if they are black)

youarekidding · 07/06/2011 22:16

OP said she is a 2 1/2 - 3.

purplepidjin · 07/06/2011 22:58

Youare, no pritt stick. I'm in fits of giggles at the thought of a tap knocking the stupid teacher out cold

A1980 · 07/06/2011 23:13

I agree YANBU for not wanting to buy expensive shoes for one wearing.

But wear hvae you been looking? £28?!

Try starting at £9.95

Tap shoes

AandK · 08/06/2011 14:19

I find some of these responses odd if it is so easy to get seconds then the school should source them not the parent!!!!! Xx

soverylucky · 08/06/2011 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.