To want to gag my 4 year old...

[bupcakesandcunting]

To stop him saying shit like this to workemen in my house;

"James next door takes his top off in the garden. He's got boobies like a girl. My mummy has got boobies but hers are big and fat and long."

OP, that's fabulous. Long boobies. Of all the adjectives we might like associated with our knockers, I'm sure 'long' isn't one we'd choose. Makes them sound like yams.

My 3 nearly 4 year old ds2 had this conversation with me whilst I was sat on the loo:
Mummy you don't have a willy
No ds2 girls have minnies
No they don't they have skirts
No they have minnies
No they have skirts and yours is hairy

My DS1 (nearly 6, but surely should know better) was playing in friend's garden which backs onto ours. I overheard him asking friend if he thought I had a big fat tummy. At the top of his voice. Despite my best efforts he is forever passing comment on people when in public. At the top of his voice. [blush

My sisters little boy once said (in a room full of people) "I love you mom, you mother fucker" He was about two at the time and had been watching his dad play grand theft auto.

Yams - ha ha ha!

Am thinking of changing my name to LongBoobies. Just my MN name, not my real one.

Oh my. If there was ever a reason for saying no to computer games it's the mother fucker outbursts.

My DS learnt aearly that he had just one line that he was allowed to say in cubicles; "Mummy you look fancy, really fancy, they are very fancy pants!" I liked that one.

DD however is obsessed with bits and boobs!
I particularly enjoy "I have to start growing my boobies soon if they are going to get as massive as yours" and "Oh My Gosh MUMMY! Where has all your TWINKLE HAIR gone? Shall I get Daddy, are you ok?!" all in very public toilet cubicles. Announcement of my shaven haven continued in the checkout queue - big from DH (and all other men in the vicinity) and big from me.

Thank god I had an understanding mum when she read her kid's literacy book one parents evening. It included such gems as:

"When I got baptized we had a huge party. I think mummy and daddy got very drunk."
"We watched a DVD. It was James Bond. He had special glasses that he could put on and see ladies' bras."

By the time mum had read half of what her little cherub (actually one of the nicest kids I've ever taught who I would have taken home if I could cos she was that fab) had grassed up about every single one of her parents' misdeeds in black and white - we were both crying with laughter.

oh god twinkle hair gone just made me splutter out my cup of tea haha thats fantastic!!! DDs only other little wind mummy up tool now she's older is singing 'dave likes to wear dirty underwear' from alvin and the chipmunks very loudly and in public ever since that film came out when DD takes a mood with me that is the first thing she does lol

My sister learnt to read the word FROG whilst my parents were having one of those flouncy late-70's avocado-dip babycham party with all of my Fathers 'company'. In the corner all you could hear was my very proud sister pointing to the picture in the book shouting "FUCK, FUCK, LOOK MUMMY A FUCK!" Mother actually denied that she was hers, slinking into the kitchen muttering something about it's time the children went home!!!!!

At about 3 my DS was following his 18yr old cousin up the stairs. He called out to me, very loudly, 'I can't see where I'm going cos DCoz bum is SO big'. Another time, at about the same age, he leaned towards me on the bus, and in his best stage whisper, shouted, 'did you remember to put on some underwear for your boobies?'. Yes. Thanks DS. But just in case, everyone's checking....

emptyshell, talking about embarrassing parents evenings, I was sitting in front of the teacher looking at my daughter's phonics book, in which she had written words beginning with various sounds. I was absolutely mortified to see that under "sh" she had written "shit" and even drawn a picture! Luckily the teacher thought it was hilarious and said "we think she means "sheet!""

I really have to stop reading this or everyone else at work will really figure out that I'm not really looking at spreadsheets - thanks for making me chuckle! I particularly like the sofa smelling of Daddy's bum - haven't had that yet!

Superiobeespecs - have you considered joining in with your dd when she sings the 'Dave' song? She might be so mortified at your behaviour that she'd never do it again. Or she might decide that if you like the song, it's not working as a wind-up tool, and stop anyway.

oh no i just hate it it makes me so much the looks we get from ppl oh no lol im sure my neighbours etc think im loopy enough when i join in her mad conversations without singing about dirty underwear too tho maybe if she done it in the house i would but unfort, she knows it bugs me most when we're out and about :( hopefully she'll outgrow it or find a new cartoon to quote at me by her teenage yrs