To be a little bit sad that our anniversary is going by pretty much unacknowledged.

[passiveaggresive]

I can't be mad about it because money is so tight and we have lots of stressful stuff going on. Its just another day, DP wished me happy anniversary today and said sorry for not getting a card, i said its ok i havent got him one and didnt expect anything. We have been together for 20 years. The last five have been up and down to say the very least. I don't have hardly any food in so no special dinner, its been pissing down all day and DD home from school so haven't been able to get out to the shops to get stuff for any sort of dinner, let alone a special one. Maybe in the back of my mind im hoping DP will take me out tonight, but i know he wont as we can't get childcare and we are broke. Is it so wrong to want a bit of bloody romance? Instead of having to spend the evening trying to be nice and not talk about stressful stuff because it is supposed to be a special day?

nup - just phoned him, asked what to do about dinner because we dont have much in (just got some frozen battered cod in freezer) he suggested we do that with mash and peas - so can put any ideas of a romantic surprise to bed then AIBU to be feeling just a bit sorry for myself

Have the fish and mash, just have your meal after the dc are in bed. Put lots of candles around nice music, can you get hold of a cheap bottle of wine. It can still be romantic it's what you make of it.

i would suggest you stop feeling sorry for your self and make something happen my dear. go to your draws have a root a round find something a bit saucy scrape together a few pennys and get your ass out and go but a bottle of wine put the kids to bed a bit early, then put on the saucy underwear(what ever it maybe doesnt matter so long as its a bit different) wear a nice dress/ make up. have the cod mash and peas with a bit of wine and candles and music and try to have a nice intimate evening. make him a bloody card, ultimately its about how you feel not what you do, get excited about it think how nice it would be to make the effort for him, ok he might not do it back(you did agree to that) but hey you will still have a nice time. thats what i would do any way.

at psil, you got there first

just had another phone call from DP, he is going to be late - im to do dinner for me and DD he will sort himself out :( I might just get the bottle of wine and "sort myself out" with that

thanks for the idea canny, i dont want to make an issue of it tbh because then it will just make DP feel bad. I shall just insist on an anniversary shag instead!

erm i think thats what canny meant only with a bit of romance...

Now i could of course cook us a curry if i could be arsed maybe i should cook DD something quick and do us a curry for later.........i'll tell DP to bring the wine in, and some massage oil

its called reading between the lines passive saucy underwear, check, dressing up, check, wine, check = shagging on anniversary. unlikely to make him feel bad, really cant think how you dressing up and making dinner would make him feel bad.

Happy anniversary

Hope you end up having a great night

no saucy underwear, my DP is actually really weird and doesnt like it!! freak

Make yourself 'arsed' to celebrate. DP has been at work all day and will be late - he can't fix it. Lovey, you sort it. You've had to time even if no ££££. Use the brill ideas and have a lovely night - 20 years!!

cheap treat:

have a glass of booze with yer mash, and talk about how you met, what you first thought of him etc. etc.

Then give eachother a massage, light a candle, but some nice music on.

Being romantic is about attention, rather than throwing money at it, what do you think?

i think thats just it, im knackered and just want an early night - we had a late night discussing money shite last night and im just shattered but feel under pressure to be romantic. Maybe i should postpone it?

gah thats what i said though doesnt have to be ann summers finest with crotchless pants and peephole bra or anything just not your faded fav comfy pants from primark (we all have them) and that bra that doesnt match. come on passive you know what i mean just something nice or some thing that you dont usually wear. but like i said that isnt really important either, more about making an effort, but you have to want to lovely.

no, do something special, as it's the anniversary.

yeah, thats what i was thinking piglet, i lay naked on the dining room table most nights :)

err, so................. DP pitched up a bit late for dinner, but he was armed with roses and wine and has been paid so said we can order chinese later. I am a very very VERY lucky girl and he is a patient, tolerant and lovely man who doesn't always get it right, but fuck me, i dont have love him - hes putting DD to bed, i did try and get her up before he came home but she is giving him a hard time, i just hope i can stay awake long enough to express my grattitude

Woohooo, passive's gonna be getting it on :o

Happy Anniversary !

Hooray!

20 years is a massive achievement btw -- good for you, congratulations!

thats so sweet of his specially since you were expecting nothing good on passives dh. rock his world tonight.

Happy Anniversary