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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

woman letting her dogs walk all over my picnic blanket and children has a go at me for 'making my children afraid of dogs.'

61 replies

fiveisanawfullybignumber · 06/06/2011 14:55

Had a lovely picnic on Friday with DH and 4 of the DC's. DH and DS's were playing football, DD2 & 3 were still sat on our picnic blanket as I was tidying our food leftovers away. We were right next to the playpark so ready for the swings.
Lady walks over with 3 dogs all off their leads. Not big dogs and one was very old, but they came over to investigate. I gently used DD's fold up changing mat to guide dogs away from the 2 little ones (just turned 1 & nearly 3). Another dog then sticks it's nose into our picnic bag whilst owner rather ineffectualy calls dogs back. They're more intrested in us than going back.
Again I shoo it away, then DS2 (9), says, mum is that dog peeing up our buggy? I go to check, it isn't but owner then has a go at me, saying 'You're going to make your children afraid of dogs, my dogs are gentle, my children have brought up with them!'
AIBU to think that if I don't want someone else's dog all over my picnic blanket and children I should have that right?
I'm afraid my response to her was along the lines of, 'I don't give a s*#t how you're children were brought up, i don't want your dogs sniffing around my children!'
She honestly ruined the afternoon for me as I felt drained by an unwanted conflict. I'm having a hard enough timeanyway as DD3 (1) has severe reflux and has been in lots of pain and not sleeping well at all untill her meds were adjusted a few days ago.

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 06/06/2011 14:57

YANBU I don't like unknown dogs coming over to us either but possibly bit of an over reaction from you! Surely this is something that is just brushed off and ignored not something that ruins an afternoon? Confused

Blu · 06/06/2011 14:59

well, perhaps she would have been happy for your toddler to walk all over her dinner table and poke her unwashed hands into her dinner...some people are weird like that and think that it is perfectly acceptable for dogs or toddles to behave in that way.

No, of course, she was being totally unreasonable an she should have dragged her dogs away immediately and apologised to you.

However, if it seriously ruined your afternon, you need more rest, more help, more support and possibly a trip to your GP to see if you might be a bit depressed?

worraliberty · 06/06/2011 15:00

Do you know, in all my 42 young years, this has never happened to me or my kids..not once. Yet it seems to happen to everyone on MN? Confused

I love dogs and so do my kids. I'd love a little stroke of a friendly dog who happened our way, but they seem far too busy annoying other MNetters!

shirleyshortcut · 06/06/2011 15:00

you were unreasonable and silly for swearing

Callisto · 06/06/2011 15:00

Being a grumpy old bag, I would have told her to keep her fracking dogs away from my picnic and children even before she had the chance to say anything, so no YANBU in the slightest (and I am a dog owner who is very used to long greyhound noses in everything that might be food).

MissVerinder · 06/06/2011 15:01

SWBU, especially as your LO's are so young. Stupid woman- gives proper dog owners a bad name.

fiveisanawfullybignumber · 06/06/2011 15:02

First to admit I'm in need of more rest and I'm very stressed.Blush This year has been a killer! That afternoon was supposed to be a break form all the stresses of home life and get out and about as a family and enjoy ourselves.

OP posts:
DooinMeCleanin · 06/06/2011 15:02

BAN THEM. Ban them all. Ban picnics too. They leave too much mess and people take cheese and opnion crisps on their picnics. The smell makes me feel physically ill. The wind wafts it in my direction and I can't away from it. I have a right to enjoy my park without having to cope with the crisps.

Ban everything.

thiscantbehappening · 06/06/2011 15:03

Only dogs ffs - stop being such a bleeding wuss.

DoMeDon · 06/06/2011 15:03

It is a shame it ruined your afternoon, it shouldn't have but sounds like it is the other stuff you are dealing with that has left you too drained to be able to deal with other people's shit.

One of my (normally obediant but excitable) dogs once ran over to a couple having a romantic picnic and jumped upon them for a licking fest. I was mortified, apologised profusely, reprimanded dog and offered to make it up to them (not sure how if they had accepted Confused) It is only right to keep your dogs away from other people's picnic's - luckily it never happened again. The woman sounds a bit loony - shooing dogs away is not going to make a child scared. Although jumping up screaming 'argh, a hell hound, save us all' might!

PregolaLola · 06/06/2011 15:04

she should have dealt with the dogs, that sounds like a weird thing to say if you were only shooing them off, dont get why it would ruin your day either to be honest but the swearing was a bit silly really, and i think you did overreact with it ........
so long as you wasnt squeaking and grabbing your children away yanbu

BooyHoo · 06/06/2011 15:05

you shouldn't have let it ruin your afternoon. it was only a few minutes of disturbance. really dont let silly unimportant things bother you.

YANBU about not wanting them sniffing in your picnic bag etc. teh owner shouldn't have let them off if she cant call them back.

SenoritaViva · 06/06/2011 15:05

YWNBU to shoo them away. She was BU to assume that you shouldn't (how should one know whether strange dogs are to be trusted or not) but I think you're swearing was a little over the top.

I love my dogs but don't expect others to love them and I believe that that is how good dog owners generally are...

ZumbaRumba · 06/06/2011 15:07

YANBU.

cantspel · 06/06/2011 15:08

My son's football team train in our local park and a number of times friendly dogs have ambled over sniffed at the drinking bottles and then cocked their leg over them so i can see why you might not want dogs sniffing around your picnic blanket.

BumWiper · 06/06/2011 15:09

Seeing as her dogs ignore her recall they shouldnt be off lead.You can never tell how a dog is going to react to small children,regardless of how it was raised.I have always kept dogs until very recently,my beloved basset hound passed last year,and bad dog owners give us a bad name.
My dog was lovely and gentle,and a little bit spacey,but he would never be let interrupt someones picnic.

Firawla · 06/06/2011 15:12

yanbu at all, that dog owner was extremely rude. some people seem to think that just because its their beloved the dog the whole world must accomodate them and love them too, and that noone will mind any misbehaviour by the dog, the same way some people are with their kids. of course noone wants some random dog sticking its nose in the picnic foot and sniffing their babies, the dog owner is a loon to think that is okay, even if you swore at her still yanbu. she should have gone and physically removed dogs from picnic blanket if they did not come when called, its not hygenic to have them stood on your picnic area and they were uninvited

whackamole · 06/06/2011 15:15

YANBU.

And I don't think swearing is over the top. You were annoyed even before she decided she tell YOU off. It would have made me fume for quite a long time as well - but I actively don't like dogs.

SherlockMoans · 06/06/2011 15:16

I love well behaved, properly controlled dogs but some owners just dont get that other people dont like dogs or are nervous. Owners like this make me so cross. I have been out twice recently first time lady with loads of dogs lets them run in a pack round my, luckily dog confident children, saying "oh its ok, theyre friendly"

Second time large dog tries to mount and dominate my brother's dog (who ws trying to get away) whilst owner calls from a distance with all the authority of a limp lettuce leaf (apparently the second time brothers dog has had a problem with her dog)

Yep I agree "well, perhaps she would have been happy for your toddler to walk all over her dinner table and poke her unwashed hands into her dinner" unfortunately the opportunity to do this never arises does it.

FreudianSlipper · 06/06/2011 15:18

i had a similar experience last year. up wimbledon common having a picnic, ds playing football with my friend and a golden retriever comes over and starts helping himself to my quiche, tied to pull him off with little success so asked his owner to cal him or pull him off (by this time slobbered over everythign) and he told me it was my fault for having food out for him

i said at least you coudl control your dog, was told not possible when food is about. had a bit of an argument but gave up no point arguing with such an ignorant twat and his twatty wife

jsut pleased we had eaten most of the food, i understand a dog may have wondered over and tried to helphimself but expect dog owners to be responsible for controlling their dogs not jsut think its ok for them to do as they please

JoanofArgos · 06/06/2011 15:18

yanbu, she was being a patronizing irritant.

shirleyshortcut · 06/06/2011 15:20

Second time large dog tries to mount and dominate my brother's dog (who ws trying to get away) whilst owner calls from a distance with all the authority of a limp lettuce leaf

aww that happened to my poor lil Grin dog the other day

the owner was taking a chance though letting her mutt do it to my rotty, he could have been a throat-ripper for all she knew.

emptyshell · 06/06/2011 15:22

It's ok - it's going to piss down all summer so no one can have a picnic and have it spoilt by nasty doggies.

Problem solved.

MillyR · 06/06/2011 15:22

You, the dog owner and your 9 year old are all being unreasonable.

Why do people feel the need to escalate situations to higher and higher levels of confrontation, when you are all meant to be out having a picnic/playing football/walking dogs.

BumWiper · 06/06/2011 15:29

My poor Bertie (my dog that passed) would often be walking along with me in a complete world of his own.One time this lovely chocolate lab came bounding over to him,but instead of just doing the usual bum sniffing,immediatly went for his throat.Bertie was screeching and all the lab owner would do was stand there saying hes usually friendly.So although your dog might usually be friendly,there are times it will not be.

It took me to actively open the dogs jaws to save Bertie and then i sprayed the lab in the face with my water bottle.The owner walked off saying good boy Confused

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