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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not believe women dont answer the door when alone in house?

158 replies

PharoahNuff · 06/06/2011 12:17

truthfully?

OP posts:
motherinferior · 06/06/2011 13:45

I would have been most affronted if the friends whose doors I'd knocked on this Saturday hadn't answered the door. Quite upset, actually.

Original poster
PharoahNuff · 06/06/2011 13:45

but htey KNEW you were coming MI

that seems to be it
mumsnet is not spontaneous

OP posts:
motherinferior · 06/06/2011 13:47

No, they didn't. I was on the way back from a haircut and thought 'oh, I will knock on their door and ask them to come round tomorrow for a drink'. And I knocked. And my mate came to the door and said 'MI! Hello! Did you have a nice half term?' in the manner of, er, someone who answers the door.

upahill · 06/06/2011 13:48

I used to work with the Asian community about 4 years ago and there where plenty of times I would call to see someone and theere would be no answer. when I followed this up I was usually told 'Mum was in but she was alone' meaning she doesn't answer the door when by herself.
THere were a few reasons for this as I found out over time.
1 language barrier
2 not 'allowed' to
3 Fear (of what, I'm not sure. I never found that out.)

Clearly this isn't true of all Asian people I called on, just some but it goes someway to explain that yes it is true that sometimes women do not answer the door if they are alone in the home.

diddl · 06/06/2011 13:48

I look to see who it is & then decide whether to answer or not.

mumblechum1 · 06/06/2011 13:50

my butler I always answer the door because I'm terrified of missing something exciting

crispyseaweed · 06/06/2011 13:51

YANBU... not answering the front door to me seems totally wet... unless its midnight and you can see it a total stranger dressed all in black with a machetti knife!! lol
We are all going to end up alone later on in life if you husband/spouse dies first.

PerryCombover · 06/06/2011 13:51

pharoah if you come here unannounced you can come in
as long as you use the chute

Matsikula · 06/06/2011 13:52

I don't in the evening because sadly where I live we get quite a lot of junkies collecting for 'the homeless' (I guess, strictly speaking, they are being truthful).

Even if my husband is here we shout through the door to find out who it is first, and then don't answer if it's someone dodgy sounding. If they could actually name a charity that works with the homeless, we would respond differently.

I've been known to give money to people on the street occasionally, but I do find coming to the door pretty intimidating.

elphabadefiesgravity · 06/06/2011 13:55

Having been mugged on my front door step I don't answer after dark unless it is someone I know.

Also I work from home so if I am busy or am upstairs bathing the kids etc I don;t answer.

All my close family have a key anyway.

gramercy · 06/06/2011 13:56

I have become a bit more wary after I had a bit of an incident a few months ago.

I opened the door to this skinny, rough-looking bloke who asked to look through the skip on our drive. I said there wasn't anything worth having in there, but as I went to close the door he shoved his foot in it and said very firmly that he'd just check for scrap metal. I weakly told him to go ahead. Then suddenly I couldn't see him and remembered I'd left the back door open. Luckily I saw his dormobile thing drive off and I breathed a sigh of relief.

diddl · 06/06/2011 13:57

"not answering the front door to me seems totally wet."

But if you can see that it´s Jws or someone selling something-why bother just to tell them that you´re not interested & close the door on them?

LolaRennt · 06/06/2011 13:58

FOr fucks sake, another one of these obnoxious threads. Brilliant. Aren't all women pathetic for not being you. I only open the door to people I like, because I have to. Not going to start having strangers in.

Anyway OP while you're off taking the piss out of everyone, hope you don't get robbed letting some dick head inside.

Ormirian · 06/06/2011 14:00

The supermarket delivery lady would have been a bit put out this morning I think. Perhaps she could have posted the shopping through the dining room window.

MindyMacready · 06/06/2011 14:04

We have a part glazed/obscured front door. You can always see if there's a delivery van, or child calling etc. and more importantly, a chancer with a clip board or a bunch of elderly JWs Grin

vvviola · 06/06/2011 14:04

I've had a few unpleasant experiences in our current house - people collecting money/selling stuff being unimpressed with me because I refused (politely) to donate/buy. On two seperate occasions they shoved their foot in the door, shouted and tried to push their way in. On another occasion they returned to hammer loudly on the door 5 minutes later (and disappeared pretty quickly when DH answered the door), and I've had people hang around outside the house shouting once or twice too.

I don't answer the door after dark now. (we have no chain on the door, if we did I'd be happy enough to answer and use that). If DH is home, I ask him to do it, if he isn't I usually just ignore it.

Daytime doesn't bother me - although if I'm on my own at home in the day time, I get pretty grumpy about my peace and quiet being interrupted for someone selling stuff.

motherinferior · 06/06/2011 14:13

So what do you do when it's your kids' friends ringing/calling? DD1 is 10 and her mates ring her up from time to time.

Meglet · 06/06/2011 14:15

I always look from an upstairs window before I answer the door, I can't be arsed to answer it if someone is going to try and flog me Sky or change my energy supplier. If I don't want to deal with them I poke my head out of the upstairs window and tell them I'm dealing with the kids. As there is usually hollering in the background they know I'm telling the truth.

Nothing to do with being scared though, just not wanting to waste my time.

I don't mind answering the door to JW's. They never try and chat for long anyway as my small people interupt and whinge. Then the kids get to play with the booklets Grin.

Having said that we sometimes get pizza deliverys here by mistake (stupid road numbering) and I do have to check before I open the door after dark just in case it's a mad axe murderer.

PerryCombover · 06/06/2011 14:15

diddl

jews? oy vey

Pelagia · 06/06/2011 14:17

The only time I don't answer the door is if I think it may be the window cleaner and I have yet again forgotten to get their money ready. I answer the phone, the door, I never realised how rock n roll I am!

startail · 06/06/2011 14:24

I live far enough out of town that generally if someone rings the bell, they are friends, neighbours or delivering something. When I lived up in a flat in town I did look out the window and leave anyone I didn't know standing there.
My problem is not the door bell it's the phone - If you have to ask is that mrs x then you've never met me since I generally go by my first name and any one who's met me knows my accent instantly. Therefore ,what ever you say you are trying to sell me something, and you can get lost!!

diddl · 06/06/2011 14:50

"diddl

jews? oy vey"

Jehova´s Witnesses.

MmeLindor. · 06/06/2011 14:51

It is your bloody fault that I just answered the door.

He was a huge guy, tattoos on his NECK, long hair, camouflage jacket, looked like a Hells Angel.

If I understood him correctly, he has just been released from prison and is looking for work.

I declined politely and locked all the doors

diddl · 06/06/2011 15:14

"If I understood him correctly,"

That´s another thing for me-if it´s a total stranger & they launch into a spiel about something I get lostBlush

So, it´s easier to save us both the time & me the embarrassmentGrin

CoffeeDodger · 06/06/2011 15:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.