to feel really cross about a woman who looked me up & down? WWYD?

[garlicbutter]

The scene: An extended family party - very extended, I knew about a third of the guests - in the afternoon. In short, civilised and sober. I was a co-host. I worked my way past a group standing near the door; one of the group was a woman I don't know: very, very striking, much younger than me, somewhat aristocratic in appearance and demeanour. She scanned me from head to foot!

It started as I approached the group, continued as I went past and she TURNED to finish the job, as she evidently hadn't done my ankles & feet before I passed. This was yesterday; I'm still feeling very WTF???!! about it!

I am dowdy, cheap & middle-aged. The last time this happened was aeons ago, when I felt smugly confident that whatever the scan found would meet whatever criteria. This time, I'm thinking - why? It's so RUDE! Should I have said something?
If so, what??

What would you do/think/say?

Im guilty of doing this and have even been told that sometimes I give people dirty looks. Im not like that at all and only do it if I see someone wearing a nice item of clothing or a hairstyle that looks nice.

If there is a next time, I'll give her a Mother stare while delivering a few pithy put-downs and getting her number for Alice!

Cheers, all [win]

though [win] would do

Honestly it could've been anything.
I'm still so embarrased about what I did in Weatherspoons once. Was out having a coffee with my friend and clocked a woman breastfeeding her new baby. I didn't realise at the time but I was STARING. Plus I have a grumpy cow face so this poor woman (who gave me a long hard stare back) probably thought I was disapproving, when in actual fact I was sooo jealous of how easy she made it look, I was NEVER able to feed in public as DD and I were rubbish at it. I really wish I'd said something positive to her instead of slinking away...

She fancied you.

If it's very obvious slow scan up and down then it's likely to be a power/dominance display thing.

A self-defense tip I've heard in the past is to make eye contact and then break contact by looking sideways as it isn't aggressive and forcing confrontation or overly weak which could make you likely victim. In this case, she's clearly no threat, just potentially being an arrogant cow - I like the repeat scan and dismissive shake of the head approach :)

My neighbour does this all the time and I still haven't managed to come up with anything sharp to say.

Why was she at the party? Will you be able to make sure she isn't at the next one?

Sorry - old thread alert!

Another thread about someone getting upset about someone looking at them.
Bizzaroworld.

Oh I don't know, it can be upsetting if they do the full gaze, from head to toe and back up again. It's often meant to be insulting, so it's no wonder people are insulted.

Imperial, how did you find this?

I've looked people up and down but only when I'm admiring what they're wearing or how good they look, I'd never do it in a snidey way or at least I hope that's not the way it's interpreted.

Say 'autograph, photograph or night out?'.

I don't know, StrandedBear! I must have gone to a middle page instead of the first page.

OK, it's old, but... I catch their eyes, smile and say "hi" really warmly. If the person didn't mean anything by it they say "hi" back and it's nice. If they did mean to be insulting, they get all confused because I wasn't upset

I, too, am middle-aged and dowdy, btw, and quite stout with it. It's a good look. Gives you lots of scope for not giving a damn.

"I am dowdy, cheap & middle-aged" No you are NOT! In my head you are elegant and sophisticated. And that's what counts.

I would have looked up and down back, walked past her, turned and looked her up and down again. If she had not stopped by then, I would have said, 'Can I help you? Would you like a canape, a drink etc?'

She is probably terribly ordinary and deeply suburban just like me

Look her up & down back.

Or say, 'what are you looking at' (obviously do not follow this with 'you, outside, now bitch!!).

Or just ignore the rude look, & be nice & friendly to her (be the better person).
Could be she's insecure herself anyway.