to suggest that silence is passively condoning bigotry?

[Glitterknickaz]

Over the past few days I have been posting on a thread about cuts to DLA and services for those who have disabilities and their carers. As a parent carer to three children with disabilities this is extremely relevant to me and something I am very passionate about.

In case anyone is interested, this current government appears determined to decimate benefits and services to those who have disabilities. Many will become homeless and people are committing suicide because of it. Whilst many accepts that some cuts have to happen personally I don't agree that disability benefits should be the first things to go.

As I hold that position, as my family is actually facing poverty, I have stated so on here. A small, yet significant minority has posted some downright disgusting comments towards me, calling me selfish (for wanting to stay on topic), twisting my posts to suit their own agenda and generally being downright vile. There was also the suggestion of eugenics as a solution to the cost of disability benefits (which is a very small portion of the welfare pot).

I gladly gave my personal situation up for scrutiny as I have nothing to hide, yet unfortunately certain posters still felt it was acceptable to post in a particularly disgusting way.

What upsets me is that if comments such as these had been levelled at ethnic minorities, persons of a different religion or sexuality for example posters here would have stepped in. Majorly. What I was met with was largely silence. People avoided the topic and I'm not sure why - perhaps because it wasn't 'naice' or 'right on'.

I just want you to know that by saying nothing you are saying that this kind of posting is acceptable. Yet after the panorama showing people were up in arms - do you not realise that it is people like the people shown in panorama that are going to be directly affected by the policies being driven through now?

It happens all the time with threads where it turns downright disablist. I'm interested in knowing why people condone these kinds of threads with their silence in this way.

Disability could happen to any one of us, at any time. It is not within our control. It is not a case of 'it wouldn't happen to me'. I don't think it's such a terrible thing to ask that you (the collective you) challenge this unacceptable kind of posting.

AIBU to suggest then that this silence makes disablism acceptable on these boards? And AIBU to ask why you keep your silence?

So much hatred. Just been reading a piece on edl ahtred interspersed with the account of a holocaust survivor. She says 'first it began with name calling'

Right now muslims are enemy number one but disabled peolple are moving up the polls!

I was flamed (well it was a troll doing it so who gives a shit) cos I reported a racist post earlier, told by others that it should be allowed to stay, wtf, do people really think that is ok? so shows what we are up against,

looked at the BTBD thread, I don't watch things like that as I live it, can't get my head around the poster who felt it was ok to post that post, as for mn hq, wtf are they on, that post should have been gone and so should the poster, I Often wonder why mn has an sn topic is just to make them feel good as tha lack of support with trolls and bigots is mind boggling, sorry rant over.

OP - I agree with everything you say. I think those that rant about sexism, racism etc just have personal "issues" that they project onto non-problems.
When it actually comes to the real world and real people and real issues they would be horrified if their prejudices were revealed.
Anyway I wish you all the best for the future.

here

Shoestowsy

I thank you very much for your kindness and decency in WANTING to get that vile post about me deleted but I always say leave them up. Why because 'by their own words they will be exposed'. So many people on here are very very naive about how evil and wickness against others is taking a hold in this country. It don't effect them therefore it is not happening.

Then they read something like that post and they get a shock, we need to shine a light on evil not brush it under the carpet, thanks again for kindness to me.

Someone posted something vile about you, beesimo ?

You're right, OP , dead right. I work with darling little kids with special needs and they have to try so hard and fight so bravely and how dare anyone be snide about them?! Sickens me, really.

As for this other stuff...we don't really have Romany people here, at least not any that I know of, but how dare anyone say rude things about them? They don't know the. And we don't have this ginger stuff so much either. There is red hair in DH's family and I really hope one of our kids gets it. I've wanted lovely red hair all my life; I think it's beautiful and special. :)

There is another thread on here about getting bairns ears pierced that over and over uses the word chav or chavvy as a put down to downgrade people.
It made my DDs very very upset why because our word for small child is chaviee and that is what is now used to mean low life.

Their GranGran used to sing Cushti Chaviee (good child) to them when they were poorly or sad.

Cheerful Yank

Don't worry about Beesimo we are on our on place.

'The millionarie Gyppos who don't pay their taxes'

As opposed to

'the dirty scummy Gyppos who leave rubbish everywhere'

You have to be one or the other you can't just be a normal member of society.

That's how certain people are about Native Americans here. Either they're making tons of money off the casinos and aren't putting a dime back or they're scum who collect welfare and don't keep up their houses and drink all the time.

I hate that crap. They're like any other group of people, some good and some bad.

People are scared of disability and mental illness. When dh became ill I really found out who my friends were. A neighbour actually took a step back from me when I told her he was in hospital. We get dla but are fortunate that we will survive if he loses it. It pays for his car but we would just have to do without.

I complete dla and ESA forms as part of my job (GP). There are a very very occasional form for someone who isn't IMHO that ill/disabled but most are 100% genuine. Doesn't stop them being turned down though :(. I always say you can tell so much by how people treat the vulnerable. That sadly goes for our society as a whole.

Cheerful Yank, here's the thread beesimo is talking about, most of the relevant stuff is in the last 100 posts.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1224345-to-fuming-that-there-has-been-no-staff-at-the-local-secondary-school-since-3-30pm-to-take-a-serious-complaint-about-bullying-and-harrasment

Make up your own mind.

Cheerful Yank

That is not the thread I am talking about the thread I am talking about is called something like 'I want to apoligise to the travellers camped near us' I will bump it for thee.

Goblinchild

Will you PLEASE stop it all roads don't lead to thee and you have no right saying that is what I was talking about today because it wasn't! The world don't revolve round thee for Christs sake.

I was not referring to you HAVE YOU GOT THAT.

You are obssessed with me why? because I dare disagree with you?

Can't stay to arguefiy with you I am need on yard

I didn't see your thread.

You say "I just want you to know that by saying nothing you are saying that this kind of posting is acceptable."

That's just silly. I can't read and comment on every single thread on MN just in case someone somewhere is being horrible, and I don't think you can expect it.

How random.

Glitter, has it ever occurred to you that there may be two sides to this coin ? That just possibly there are others who feel strongly the other way are also keeping quiet ?

I hope things work out for you, I really do

I have to admit that I'm one of the silent ones - I have tried in the past, but have always been ignored, so I'm ashamed to say I've given up, assuming I'm just not articulate enough to get my point across. I will try again, though...

lostmyidentity - to be fair to the Dr Who writers, the new Doctor was actually expressing his disappointment at not being ginger - at his previous regeneration he asked Rose if he was ginger and said he'd always wanted to be ginger - that was what the 11th Doctor was referring to.

Having just noticed the post previous to mine, I hasten to say that I'm not referring to that one! In fact I'm not really sure what other side of the coin she's meaning. Unless she means she feels strongly that it's OK to be bigoted? Surely not...

"Glitter, has it ever occurred to you that there may be two sides to this coin ? That just possibly there are others who feel strongly the other way are also keeping quiet ?"

I hope that is a joke, the people who feel strongly the other way are anything but quiet, they are very vocal, their bigotry is often allowed to stand so the worn out sn posters can educate them !!!
the people who need to speak up are the ones that just sit there and do nothing,
I notice mn can get all het up about padded bra's for children (ffs just don't buy them) but a real issue like this they hide and remain silet, so the bigots and trolls win.

Why is admitting openly that you are disablist acceptable?
It's not acceptable to openly admit to being racist....

At the end of the day, I come on here and decide which threads to read, and which ones I don't. I am more likely to read those that relate to a personal experience I have gone or those that can offer me useful advice in an issue I am currently experiencing.

Sometimes (like now), I concentrate my attention on Relationships; if I am feeling particularly reluctant passionate about spring-cleaning, you'll find me on the Good Housekeeping board. When I was concerned about my DC's development, I could be found on the Behaviour/Development board. If I'm thinking about DC's education, you'll find me on the Education board. When I want advice on Multicultural Families, you'll find me on that board. When my cousin was having a baby and agonising mulling over what name to give her child, I would go on the Baby names board.

And because I may decide not to post and "namechange" regularly (combination of paranoia, fun, because I wish to disassociate myself from a previous post I have made, or just because I'm bored), you'd never know I was there, or if I was, if it was in fact me.

If I feel like posting on a thread I have read, I will. If I don't, I won't. It's not a personal slight against anyone - it's just that I am hardly about to do something simply because a nameless/faceless persona over the internet tells me to. Note the use of the word "persona" because, at the end of the day, unless we know the posters in real life and can be sure it is them, all we can go by is what they choose to write on here which may or may not truly reflect their beliefs, actions, or the values that they hold.

Mumsnet is a great site where help and support can be found under most topics (yes, even AIBU!), but I do believe that far too many people take the transient personae on here (both theirs and others) just a bit too seriously for their own good.

Oh really babybarrister? How terrifying, cats & dogs aren't avoidable like many allergens.

OP your post was too long to read

Perry- thats a shame because it was worth reading, could you not have paced yourself? Take a few minutes break between paragraphs?