Controlling? Selfish at least, surely?

[Lorenz]

Whenever me and DP go out for an Indian meal I always get Korma - simply because it's the only Indian dish I really like. I can tolerate the others but obviously if you have a favourite, you get your favourite! Anyway DP always insists that we should "try different dishes" but with this he insists we both share the korma and the dish he chooses. I just want a korma!! yet I'm always pressured into sharing half of it and eating half of something I don't much like just so he can "try" something different. One time he insisted on doing this and he hated the other dish so ended up eating most of my korma.

Another thing he does is tell me I don't want this and I don't want that. For instance "we can share a portion of onion bahjis, right?" err no, I want a portion for myself, get your own bloody starter! I always feel like I'm going out with my dad and feel like I can't get what I want.

We're due to go out for a meal tomorrow and already he's saying about what starters we'll be getting and how we can get a different curry to try aside from the korma.

AIBU to want some control in what I order??

I think calling him controlling based just on the curry situation is a bit over the top... but then you say he's like this about other things too.... are you drip feeding us korma sauce, OP?

He's being a dick about the curry; you need to tell him, simply and clearly, that you will be having onion bhajis followed by a korma, and you won't be sharing yours or trying his. If he says you're greedy, point out that you feel he is being greedy by insisting on eating your food.

Take him to a buffet style one and he can try everything!

Lorenz, I know people like to talk in advance if they are going out, but exactly how does your dp do this?

Is it in an excited 'what shall we have tomorrow. I can't wait' kind of way? Or is it a detailed as-if-you-are-planning-world-domination kind of way?

Because if it is the latter, then your dp obviously has some kind of controlling problem. It's not really normal to be this organisational about a curry, is it? Now I'm not saying he is a bad guy, he could mean well, but can you live the rest of your days with somebody who is this controlling over a curry?
It will wear you down after a while, it -unless you are very strong-minded- will wear away at you. At best it will drive you nuts, at worse, chip away at your self-esteem until you are a shadow of your former self.
Ignore the 'grow a pair' comment.

Unless it is in an excited 'Oh what shall we have, can't wait' (which may be normal if going for a curry is a rare treat) kind of way, talking about what you're going to have in a curry 24 hours ahead is strange.

" talking about what you're going to have in a curry 24 hours ahead is strange."

Agree and this is why I think he is controlling. He obviously very badly wants things to go his way so is talking it through well before the event to ensure that happens.

I honestly would just say quite quietly and nicely," no thanks, you order yours and I will order mine, I only like Korma", and just keep saying that no matter how much he tries to convince you.

This thread really reminds me of my ex H. I was boring, limited, not very bright, not very ambitious, never liked to try new things and so on, those comments were over an Indian Takeaway because I didn't want to try a meat dish he fancied.

how is it greedy to want one portion of curry? It sounds like he's putting you down, OP.

Tell him to fuck off, you'll eat what you like....

I get the impression that the P manages to eat more than 50% of his own dish AND the korma, meaning that the OP herself wouldn't be getting a whole portion - hence her trying to eat a whole portion would be seen by him as "greedy" because he would only get a single portion himself. He's the greedy one, not her.