to leave my dc in ythe garden sceaming and tantruming at each other

[ditavonteesed]

because I cant referee another flippin fight today else my brain will explode or implode or something.

I bring DD in if she's tantruming for any length of time. A bit of time out of the sunshine to calm down usually does her the world of good. I don't like listening to her scream so I'm certainly not going to inflict it on my neighbours.

She's my DD, it's my responsibility to calm her down (or bring her inside where I can attempt to ignore her and teach her tantruming gets her nowhere.)

I wish the neighbours would follow my lead though. The family behind us have about 3 kids. They stand at the fence at the top of the garden shouting "Oy! Oy! what ya doing?" Whenever they see me, or DD. I started off answering them but they just carry on so I tend to ignore them now. Their parents do shout at them and tell them to leave us alone but their parents are always shouting at them for something so it doesn't have any effect.

I'm trying to grow lots of plants up the fence so they can't see us and we can sit on the deck in peace!... well, not peace, we'll still hear them all arguing, but we might not get the constant harassment from them.

I don't mean this to sound funny but going from what you've written (and obviously that's all I can go on) you sound like a bit of a screamy shouty family.

I know it's difficult especially when you're hot and stressed, but shouting/screaming at kids often results in them doing the same when they get stressed.

Give them a big bucket of water and a couple of plastic cups and tell them to water the garden - the grass if necessary!

It sounds as though they're far too hot.

And you, OP, you should cover yourself up and get out there! Your neighbours don't want to hear your kids yelling and bawling!

What about a hose to squirt them with?
Kids have a lot in common with dogs, and isn't a hose the best way to stop a dogfight?

I'm surprised the neighbours haven't done it

actually bet they would love being squirted with a hose. all bathed and tucked up in bed now.

and yes sometimes we shout, dont most people, the lady next door who lives alone is always shouting at her cat, really loudly and for ages, often wonder what the cat does.
dd has always had problems with her temper, it is her personality and it drives me too distraction.

I can relate OP because altho thankfully my younger two (6&8) get on very well most of the time, when they don't the whole town knows about it!

However we live in a terraced house and I really cringe at what my neighbours must think when my two are in the garden having happy fun never mind gthe screeching that occasionally happens (rare as mine are happiest outside!) so I bring them straight in with barely a word, bob down, talk to them in a stern voice and give them time out, THEN they can go back outside. It doesn't come naturally to me, so I am not a smug mummy at all, but it does work - mostly I suspect as they want to be outside SO much!

'dd has always had problems with her temper, it is her personality and it drives me too distraction.'

Does it make things difficult for her at school, is she in Y2 or Y3?

EttiKetti, that's what I've started doing with DD. At the start of last summer I was on at her constantly to not do this not do that (pull the heads off all the flowers, stand too close to the wall... which has a 4 foot drop onto the patio.)
She ignored me and I drove myself mad, so I made a concious decision to stop doing it. Instead I remind her calmly before she goes out what the rules are, and if she starts being naughty, or having a tantrum I bring her in until she calms down.
As you've said it's not easy, but it works far far better!

Happy screeches are fine, I have no problems with hearing them, it's been water fights all round today. But I don't want to listen to tantrums and children getting constantly shouted at by parents.

goblin, yes it does cause a few problems at school because if she is struggling with something she wont think hard about it, she will have a paddy (not full blown like she does at home) and start crying and growling rather than look at how to work things out. she is in y2 have been spending a lot of time in school, reading and helping her teacher out, as well as giving me a much better idea of how to explain thngs to her it has given me some credability (if teacher thinks I know stuff I might actually know it)

Can't believe that some of you would actually complain to your neighbours about kids bickering in the garden. My 2 do it all the time and my neighbours 2 and if you add into the mix having friends round for tea who all bicker with each other aswell . Seriously isn't this what kids are like? Obviously if there was a serious fall out I would deal with it but not by joining in the yelling match myself - other than that I usually find that they sort it out amongst themselves eventually .......or one of them storms off.