to leave my dc in ythe garden sceaming and tantruming at each other

[ditavonteesed]

because I cant referee another flippin fight today else my brain will explode or implode or something.

[mrsbiscuits]

Can't believe that some of you would actually complain to your neighbours about kids bickering in the garden. My 2 do it all the time and my neighbours 2 and if you add into the mix having friends round for tea who all bicker with each other aswell . Seriously isn't this what kids are like? Obviously if there was a serious fall out I would deal with it but not by joining in the yelling match myself - other than that I usually find that they sort it out amongst themselves eventually .......or one of them storms off.

[ditavonteesed]

goblin, yes it does cause a few problems at school because if she is struggling with something she wont think hard about it, she will have a paddy (not full blown like she does at home) and start crying and growling rather than look at how to work things out. she is in y2 have been spending a lot of time in school, reading and helping her teacher out, as well as giving me a much better idea of how to explain thngs to her it has given me some credability (if teacher thinks I know stuff I might actually know it)

[bilblio]

EttiKetti, that's what I've started doing with DD. At the start of last summer I was on at her constantly to not do this not do that (pull the heads off all the flowers, stand too close to the wall... which has a 4 foot drop onto the patio.)
She ignored me and I drove myself mad, so I made a concious decision to stop doing it. Instead I remind her calmly before she goes out what the rules are, and if she starts being naughty, or having a tantrum I bring her in until she calms down.
As you've said it's not easy, but it works far far better!

Happy screeches are fine, I have no problems with hearing them, it's been water fights all round today. But I don't want to listen to tantrums and children getting constantly shouted at by parents.

[Goblinchild]

'dd has always had problems with her temper, it is her personality and it drives me too distraction.'

Does it make things difficult for her at school, is she in Y2 or Y3?

[EttiKetti]

I can relate OP because altho thankfully my younger two (6&8) get on very well most of the time, when they don't the whole town knows about it!

However we live in a terraced house and I really cringe at what my neighbours must think when my two are in the garden having happy fun never mind gthe screeching that occasionally happens (rare as mine are happiest outside!) so I bring them straight in with barely a word, bob down, talk to them in a stern voice and give them time out, THEN they can go back outside. It doesn't come naturally to me, so I am not a smug mummy at all, but it does work - mostly I suspect as they want to be outside SO much!

[ditavonteesed]

actually bet they would love being squirted with a hose. all bathed and tucked up in bed now.
and yes sometimes we shout, dont most people, the lady next door who lives alone is always shouting at her cat, really loudly and for ages, often wonder what the cat does.
dd has always had problems with her temper, it is her personality and it drives me too distraction.

[worraliberty]

I'm surprised the neighbours haven't done it

[snailoon]

What about a hose to squirt them with?
Kids have a lot in common with dogs, and isn't a hose the best way to stop a dogfight?

[atswimtwolengths]

Give them a big bucket of water and a couple of plastic cups and tell them to water the garden - the grass if necessary!

It sounds as though they're far too hot.

And you, OP, you should cover yourself up and get out there! Your neighbours don't want to hear your kids yelling and bawling!

[worraliberty]

I don't mean this to sound funny but going from what you've written (and obviously that's all I can go on) you sound like a bit of a screamy shouty family.

I know it's difficult especially when you're hot and stressed, but shouting/screaming at kids often results in them doing the same when they get stressed.

[bilblio]

I bring DD in if she's tantruming for any length of time. A bit of time out of the sunshine to calm down usually does her the world of good. I don't like listening to her scream so I'm certainly not going to inflict it on my neighbours.

She's my DD, it's my responsibility to calm her down (or bring her inside where I can attempt to ignore her and teach her tantruming gets her nowhere.)

I wish the neighbours would follow my lead though. The family behind us have about 3 kids. They stand at the fence at the top of the garden shouting "Oy! Oy! what ya doing?" Whenever they see me, or DD. I started off answering them but they just carry on so I tend to ignore them now. Their parents do shout at them and tell them to leave us alone but their parents are always shouting at them for something so it doesn't have any effect.

I'm trying to grow lots of plants up the fence so they can't see us and we can sit on the deck in peace!... well, not peace, we'll still hear them all arguing, but we might not get the constant harassment from them.

[ditavonteesed]

I know that as a family we make far too much noise, dd1 has real anger management problems and tbh I am at my wits end as to what to do about it. she gives vey little warning and just loses her temper for nothing (obviously not to her and I am trying to get her to explain to me more why she is so upset/angry all the time) and will then scream and shout for what seems like hours, she will calm down on her own (usually probably about 10/15 mins) but if I try to talk to her or intervene in any way it will take twice as long again. dd2 spends a lot of the time screaming or in tears because dd1 can be horrible to her when she is like this.
I actually need to get to the b ottom of it, but she has been like it on and off since being a toddler.

[Goblinchild]

That sounds reasonable, the three next door fight for hours with each other, and the littlest has a huge scream. They are 9, 6 and 4.

[ditavonteesed]

goblin child I am, the same, the problem is my input will onyl make it louder, they will scream their side of the argument at me and whoever ends up being inb the wrong will have a paddy, if I leave them to it they will sort it out very quickly and go back to playing nicely or as they were actually doing reading. I am trying to teach myself not to intervene so much.

[worraliberty]

I love happy noises floating across the gardens..even the ear piercing screetches of delight from the little girl in the next road

But but squabbling/bickering is like a bloody car alarm that doesn't stop. My kids are always warned and sent to their rooms to calm down...then given another chance to play nicely back outside.

[ditavonteesed]

they have not actually been outside for that long as I wouldnt letr them earlier because of the heat. and they will be in shortly for bath and dinner so not really all day, they have been arguing all day though mainly because they were bored being stuck in. they ahve not actually argued again since I posted the op.

[Goblinchild]

I have a very high tolerance for happy noise from whatever source.
Happy shrieking doesn't bother me at all, or random instruments played badly. It's just the anger and the squabbling and the ineffectual roars from adults that annoy.

[reelingintheyears]

There are three boys who live next door to me.

Their trampoline is almost beneath DS2s bedroom.

They fight and argue constantly..

It is a drag.

They are nice kids in the main and i won't complain but............[grrr]

[CoffeeIsMyFriend]

There are 2 children who live a few doors from me. 1 is about 3 and the other approx 9months- a year old and the baby never seems to stop crying.

It drives me insane when I am out in the garden, I really struggle with continual baby crying and have to come inside.

[ditavonteesed]

paddling pool burst last hols (mind you they would make noise in that as well) garden is completly south facing so absolutly boiling, have called just about everyone I know this afternoon but noone around, cant think of anywhere to take them (bit late now anyway) they get really grumpy if stuck in the house, they seem a lot better now are reading on the trampoline which appears to be in the only bit of shade.
I meant to get another paddling pool and then I thinkk it cooled down a b it and I forgot.

[Goblinchild]

I was out gardening, but the three children next door are having a screaming match and their father has joined in yelling.
I'll be the one cutting the hedge at 11pm then.
And shredding the remains.

[TheLadyEvenstar]

I am forever apologising to my neighbours about DS1's tantrums - at first they were sort of looking at the size of him, until I explained when he wasn't around that he has "meltdowns" due to him have aspergers.

But still it is my responsibility to deal with things as they arise and would not leave them in the garden to bicker - Can't play nicely? - go to your bedrooms and play alone.

[HSMM]

Paddling pool, or just a bucket of water to cool them down?

[rainbowinthesky]

If I was your neighbour I'd complain.

[GypsyMoth]

i wouldnt want to live next dooe to it either

your kids= your responsibility

bring them in and watch a dvd,the heat makes everything worse. maybe they need to cool down