To think DH shouldn't pay DD to do his ironing?

[Butterbur]

There is history here. DH has never done his ironing - or any women's work housework at all. Before we were married, he paid his mum to do it. after we were married he succeeded in coercing me into doing it (what was I thinking?). I have been on strike for a year now, and he has finally hit on paying DD (13) to do it for him.

AIBU to think he should do his own shitwork?

THx Jaspants. And everyone else. I don't think I'm really a Women's Aid candidate. The problems are too intermittant, especially now I stop him in his tracks if he starts any shit. It's still disfunctional though.

Although I identify with what the poster on the other thread said about leaving a lovely house, and nice lifestyle. I shall certainly be a lot poorer financially if I leave.

you are a Woman's Aid candidate, because you need help to get out of an abusive relationship.

They can help you with things that you might not have thought about - setting up a PO box so that any mail relating to your new, secret bank account goes there instead of home so that he doesn't find out aboutit - small things like that....

Plan for the future, OP. Get your training up to date. You are capable of working well, obviously - wouldn't you prefer a life where you were more independent?

A nice home is just that. It doesn't equate to a happy life.

I agree this isn't about ironing - it's about teaching your daughter not to be a doormat... On the one hand, she's learning to earn her own money which is a good thing, but on the other he's exploiting his relationship with her to get her to do what he wants - just like he did with you.

I'd encourage daughter to get a real job - killing two birds with one stone. She earns money and learns the value of it and doesn't have time to do his ironing and learns to say no.