I have totally had it with everything now....AIBU to dig a dark hole and curl up into a ball?!!!

[boilingpoint]

This last 18 months has been the worst time of my entire life. I have had it. One thing after another after another!!

Today has topped it. i have fucking had it. why the fuck do i bother trying to be a decent person, following the rules, being polite never upsetting anyone helping anyone who needs helping... i must of been adholf fucking hitler in a past life cause boy am i being punished... and breathe.... fuck life it fucking sucks..

Yup. It's official. You're allowed a good old moan, maybe even some tears, and definitely all those 'fuckings' in your OP and we'll keep passing you or until you feel better.

I know it must feel impossible, but things will work themselves out. There will be a solution. Just think about all those things you've gone through over the last two years and the fact that you're still here, still able to work, still cuddling and loving DD. There's your proof that you'll make it through this next challenge too.

For now, make yourself a cup of tea, run a bath, or scoff some chocolate. Just do something to treat yourself a little. In the morning, call the CAB or a trusted friend and make a plan. Good luck.

razzle thank you for your kind words, its good to know i am not the only one who is being dealt all the crap. It makes me so mad that good things never happen to good people.

speedy... The crisis team said i had been referred over the adult care team in social services but iv neevr heard anything from them.. probably been forgotton. to be honest the crisis team were pretty dam awful through the whole thing.. i called them after i took an overdose of sleeping pills and was told someone would call me back. My DP took me to A&E and he got home 6 hours later and they called just as he got through the door.. he said well she is actually in a&e! thats just an example of what they were like.

So sorry boiling point, who is it you owe money to? If it's family fair enough (although they may allow a payment break) if it's banks and credit companies you may be better off going bankrupt/IVA, having £10 for food is in no way sustainable, you may fix the car situation this time but something else will always crop up, you need a decent amount to live on.

As for winning the lottery, fingers bloody crossed, I have day dreams of winning the euro millions and becoming the mumsnet fairy

boilingpoint i hope you feel better today. I had to post this after reading your posts. You sound like an amazing woman, really - you put me to shame. I cracked under much less pressure than you are under. Just would like to offer some practical advice re the debts.

Please contact The National Debt line, CCCS or CAB about this - if you are struggling with debt there are things that can be done that will reduce your payments and get interest frozen. Have a look at national debt line website there is an income outgoing calculator that helps you to make pro-rata offers to each of your creditors. Template letters to let creditors know you are struggling. We are in awful debt at the moment and its hell on earth, you don't need this on top of everything else.

Keep strong BP, reading your posts and seeing how you have battled through this, i can see that things will improve for you.

You have been given some fab advice re CAB etc and if you think you are living beyond your means, you probably are.

Is there anything you can cut back on?

Would your father be willing to help you out with a new car? I know he has put repairs on his CC but it sounds like a newer car is needed.

How are you feeling this morning? Any better?

Hello, well this morning I feel bloody awful. Have that awful sickness feeling in my throat I can tell its going to be a bad day...

I spent 2quid on a scratch card this morning (waste of money I no) but guess I was hoping for something good to happen!

Well no news on my car yet. The scrap yard offered me £200 I nearly choked on my coffee!

Re the debts; we have spoken to cccs but havnt had a chance to sort everything out yet. Owe lots of money to family aswell.

All you can do is tackle one problem at a time, otherwise it becomes all consuming and everything seems hopeless, especially if you are already feeling low.

Get your debts sorted first, that will be a huge relief once you have a plan in place.

Next sort out the car.

BP, you know, im sitting here with that same bloody feeling and i do most mornings. At the end of each day, most times, i think, well that wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be - so i try to hang on to that.

Nothing wrong with spending 2 quid on a scratch card, you might have won a tenner! you didnt but for that couple of minutes, its nice to dream

I'm in the middle of trying to sort our debts out (well i have been for years) but have brought it all to a head by contacting a debt management company (not a dodgy one) to see if they will manage for us. Im having to be very strong just now, its not great, but just letting you know that you are not alone in this and there is no shame in it.

Are you selling your car, have you tried webuyanycar.com? dont knwo if they give fair price or not - we nearly offloaded our car on them when it had a fault we coudlnt put right, but thankfully we have rectified it. Lucky for us my DP is a genius when it comes to fixing cars. I also managed to fix our dishwasher when it went wrong too. Its amazing how resourceful you can be when you have to and it made me reflect on how we live in a throwaway society. My DP battled with his van electrical fault for a month, had to use family car for his business (builder) but he got there in the end, we would have traded van in if were better off financially, but we don't need anything other than an old banger. Cars old too - wont buy a new one til that one dies.

Feel free to PM me, im not sure i can be much help but im going through similar things with the debts and i know i would appreciate someone to go through it with, if you fancy a strong shoulder, im quite good at being strong for others, less so for myself, as i said to you earlier you seem pretty strong to me!

I'm waiting on my dp getting back from Birmingham to decide what to do next, he is going to speak to the mechanics who deal with our fleet at work see if we can sort some kind of payment plan out with them. If not may try that webuyanycar site. I'm so glad its friday, only tonight to get through at work then I can spend the weekend cleaning I guess!
Sunshine I'm sorry your feeling crappy aswell x
I feel so stranded! U are all so kind x

Don't feel stranded, hang on in there - its shite i know. What is wrong with the car?

i WOULD GET A SECOND OPINIOn on the car before you scrap it.People talk a lot of crap ,about cars even those who work with them.It could just be aleak in the radiator pipe.Think on as well how many things you have put right with the car.Do you want to buy someone else's problems?

fairydoll is right, it would be good to see if it were something trivial with the car? is it very old (the older the better actually) because if your DP were to get himself a haynes manual he could have a bash at it himself. We were quoted £800 to get our van through MOT (its probably worth less than £100 but its worth so much more to us) so my DP did it all himself, he isnt a mechanic, apart from the exhaust pipe and it cost about £160 in total. Most of that being the new exhaust. We have thought about buying new van especially as we couldnt locate electrical fault, but we were loathe to because at that level of pay out, you are better off with the devil you know, at least you know that the stuff you have done isnt going to be going wrong anytime soon. Its a great sense of achievement too, i even had my head under the bonnet - nearly electricouted myself so left it to DP but thats beside the point ;)

Keep posting if it helps, we can all offer you a hug and some objective advice or someone to swear at.

Just read your post properly re your car - err, i dont think the head gasket would have gone and if it has, its ALOT more than £600 to fix, i dont think your boss knows what he is talking about. Be very unlikely to be headgasket in my very limited opinion.

warning on webuyanycar - they will provisionally offer you more but when you turn up they will pick it to pieces and give you a much lower offer. Try the advice from Honest John in the Telegraph - his site has some recommendations of companies that will offer you a true reflection of the value.

If it is really unsalvageable then you will probably get more for scrap as they will strip it for parts.

Another option is to put it on ebay with a starting price of £300 - be honest , diclose all it's issues and see what offers you get - you may be surprised - you could even advertise it on their as parts to be stripped which may give you more money. Don't forget if you scrap it to reclaim your unused tax.

Sorry you are having such a crap time I promise you things can get better even without a lottery win.

Chin up, chest out - you can defeat the world!!!

Yep re- reading if it was water pissing everywhere that is more likely to be a hole in the radiator, if the hole isn't too huge you can get Radweld for a temporary fix, go to the local scrappies ask if they have your radiator in stock, get DH a haynes manual and he should be able to do it - radiator is not too hard

And if you need cheering up this is a really funny thread!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1223119-Please-remove-your-book-from-my-knickers-DS

update;

DP has spoken to our fleet fixer men, they are coming down to recover my car either today or tomorrow (its still leaking all over my works car park ) They have some scrap focus' and are going to get it fixed for me. so theres something. They also said they will sort out some arrangement with payments.

Then i am going to sell it. and get something more (hopefully) reliable.
My eyes keep leaking tears today, not really looking forward to work tonight.

You are having a really hard time. I know its difficult and I know from my own experience how all the bad things seem to happen at once. I would recommend using the moneysavingexpert.com website. Tells you about lots of cheap deals and has forums on debts where people give great advice and just support one another.

Don't know whether to say this or not - but you say that you keep waiting for good things to happen, but it is clear that they have. Your DH has a good job that he loves. That is something majorly good. You obviously also have a very supportive family which is worth a lot. And you are having CBT which is helpful. Don't know if you find this useful or not,but I find it can help to remind myself what is still good in my life.

I found our crisis team to be crap as well - they didn't want to come out in spite of referral, we insisted, and then they visited twice daily for a week. All but one of the people who visited was useless and tbh seemed totally out of their depth. They would have been fine if you were lonely and just wanted a chat, but otherwise useless.

And accept that it is fine to cry. It is how our bodies deal with bad things happening to us.