I have totally had it with everything now....AIBU to dig a dark hole and curl up into a ball?!!!
boilingpoint · 02/06/2011 22:05
This last 18 months has been the worst time of my entire life. I have had it. One thing after another after another!!
Today has topped it. i have fucking had it. why the fuck do i bother trying to be a decent person, following the rules, being polite never upsetting anyone helping anyone who needs helping... i must of been adholf fucking hitler in a past life cause boy am i being punished... and breathe.... fuck life it fucking sucks..
SunshineisSorry · 02/06/2011 22:13
life does tend to do this doesn't it, cant just have one fucking thing go wrong at once, it just tends to spiral - YANBU to want to curl up in your hole and you should, it can be very cathartic - but dont please stay there, just recuperate, face the next round and stay strong. Not sure what your history is, but have a unmumsnetty hug if it helps
Spero · 02/06/2011 22:15
Much better to vent than let it fester. Try some deep breathing, get some decent sleep and I hope things seem less horrible in the morning.
Horrible things do happen to good people. I would recommend reading some Viktor Frankl - he survived a concentration camp, lost his wife and came out realising that the only thing you can control is your reaction to circumstances and although the human race could build concentration camps, they could also go to their deaths bravely.
IprivateI · 02/06/2011 22:18
Yes life is shit isn't it? My dressing table mirror cracked in half for no apparent reason about 2 months after our wedding. Thats 7 years bad luck. Only 2.5 more to go. I've had some shit things happen to me in that time, and even now continuous bad luck. Know how you feel.
boilingpoint · 02/06/2011 22:32
well where do i begin are you sitting comfortably.....This has all happened in the last 18 months...
1, We have lived in 4 houses in the last 15 months.. One of the houses had no heating and the windows just let the ait through it was -3 in my DDs room at one point, another house the landlord kept coming in unannounced, then the other house was just awful. the landlord wouldnt give us our deposit which resulting in 2,
2, We were homeless for around 2 weeks between houses. had to stay with my DPs aunt.
3, My DP was made redundant/let go from 3 jobs. one after the other, i wasnt working due to illness.
4, The washing machine, the fridge, the TV and our sofas all broke within a week of each other.
5, i had really bad PND when LO was born in march 2010 it went un-noticed.
6, In January 2011 i had a full nervous breakdown. Attempted suicide on several occasion and ended up being sectioned under the mental health act. I ended up loosing my job as a result of this..
7, Mine and DP's relationship took a nose dive due to breakdown. were on the mend but fragile.
8, we owe so many people money its unreal. For the last 3 months we have lived on £10 a week for food. were so broke its unreal.
9, DD has had various illnesses, trips to hospital.
10, Our car keeps breaking.. we brought it nearly 3 years ago for £1500. In the last 7 months it has cost £2000 to get fixed for various things. (my dad has been paying on his credit card)
Then tonight...... The first night when DP is away at a function and not home for me when i get in. I go to work for 4pm (like i do every night) and something is wrong with my car.. its pissing out water from the radiator, i work for a large company with a big fleet of vehicles so the hub manager has come out and had a look.. the head gasket/ engine is gone... going to cost nearly £600 to get it fixed... WTF?! So my car is still at work and i got someone to drop me home. How the hell are we gonna sort this? i need a car to get us around.. i just see no way out from this.
Sorry to bore you all with my crap..
BornInAfrica · 02/06/2011 22:43
I feel your pain OP. The last five years of my life have been a drip feed of shit, shit and more shit - big bad horrible shit with long reaching consequences. And this seems to be so for many many people. I suppose one day it will stop - one has to have hope.
SpeedyGonzalez · 02/06/2011 22:44
Good grief, boilingpoint, what a list! No wonder you're so overwhelmed.
You say you had a nervous breakdown - how awful . How regularly do you go for follow-up care? It will be helpful for you if you can work through some kind of plan of action with a trusted professional carer - they can help you see things in a different light.
So sorry to hear you're having such a heavy time of it.
CoffeeIsMyFriend · 02/06/2011 22:45
oh you poor thing. Things will improve, honestly they will. I understand how shit things can be and how 'bad' things happen continually.
The car - how old is it? Is it worth fixing or can you scrap it and get another?
How is your mental health now? Are you back on track, seeing anyone?
Your DC wont remember anything, so try not to feel guilty about being ill.
Does DH have a job now?
Is your new house better?
Try to see a positive thing in each day.
have a big hug from me too.
boilingpoint · 02/06/2011 22:48
speedy, I was discharged from the crisis team in March. I have to go to the doctors once a month, fill in a questionairre about my 'feelings' and get my prescription of drugs. I also take anxiety meds at the min due to a few panick attacks when i went back to work/into the world again.
I have alos just started my 6 sessions of CBT (counselling) which is proving helpfull.
borninafrica i live for the day when something good actually happens! maybe a lottery win? prehaps not gotta be in it to win it lol
boilingpoint · 02/06/2011 22:51
coffee (great name) The car - how old is it? Is it worth fixing or can you scrap it and get another? its a T reg 1999.. thinking of scrapping however not sure what i can buy for £300 (if that)
How is your mental health now? Are you back on track, seeing anyone? as above
Does DH have a job now? he is in a good job now which he loves, just passed his probation with a promotion (no payrise )
Is your new house better? i love our new house, however i feel we are living beyond our means at the minute
razzlebathbone · 02/06/2011 22:52
Don't know if it helps OP to know you are not alone in suffering many of these things? We've had to move three times in last two years and I was also sectioned twice with PND. My husband also had to declare himself bankrupt due to all his debts. You are not alone or jinxed and it's no reflection on your worth. Can you borrow a car? Trade it in? I would say get some financial advice.
Do you feel depressed again?
Doowrah · 02/06/2011 22:53
Life does suck, you sound like you have been dealt a particularly rough hand recently. I won't do platitudes or buy into the notion of everything changes etc,etc my life has been an atrocious car crash of an existence for the best part of ten years and I gave up on it changing a long time ago. Have you looked into a debt relief order with the CAB it may alleviate alot of your financial hell. Get rid of the crap car, advertise on your local freecycle for an mot'd banger, look into grant agencies that help those struggiling to buy what they genuinely need, go to your MP. I feel for you...good luck and your thread heartens me that it is not only me.
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