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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to bevery disappointed that only 63% of women can DRIVE!! ffs

566 replies

JunoWatt · 02/06/2011 11:52

its like saudi arabia here
ONLY JUST OVER HALF OF US! GET A LICENCE LADIES

OP posts:
NestaFiesta · 03/06/2011 16:31

Minty Moo- good post, I agree.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme · 03/06/2011 16:56

For those who don't read the beginning and can do maths MrsCarry gave the original paper earlier here. The OP can't do math or stopped at the title.

The real picture is very different than the thread let to believe.

Minty nesta good posts.
morebeta Grin

Kendodd · 03/06/2011 17:44

I can't believe all the moaning people who can't drive, you're like ffers complaining about bfers making them feel inadequate. So what, if you can't drive, but the fact is for most people who could drive it is better to be ABLE to drive, whether you choose to do so or not. If being unable to drive is so good then maybe it's a skill nobody should be able to do, who's going to drive you about then?

MintyMoo · 03/06/2011 18:20

It doesn't make me feel inadequate at all. I just prefer it when people don't mock my disability and health issues which prevent me from driving. It's rude. People who wouldn't point and laugh at a wheelchair user will point and laugh at me because my disabilities prevent me from driving.

The people who tell me I should drive regardless are usually the first to complain about student drivers, elderly drivers, people who cause car crashes etc - well if I was on the road I would not be safe. That is why I don't drive - if I drove and crashed my car in to them and seriously injured or killed them they would complain. So why complain when I take sensible measures to prevent this from happening!?

I also don't like people telling me my life is worthless because I can't drive (and yes, I have had that said to me).

I can fully appreciate that driving is a useful skill, I imagine if I had the ability to learn that I would learn if I could afford to in the future. Driving is not an essential skill in the same way that breathing is though, it's handy if you can do it but if you can't you're not going to drop dead.

For those of us who can't drive there are loads of ways around this - walking, public transport, living close to work and shops etc.

And I'm very rarely driven around anywhere - I get myself to places I want to go very well by public transport.

I don't feel the need to waste money endangering myself, other road users and the planet just to satisfy people who think everyone should drive.

Wottywot · 03/06/2011 18:25

Who is moaning about not being able to drive and people who can drive?Confused
Other way around I think. Many people who don't drive simply don't need to drive because they have lived in the city all their lives. Especially in London where it takes longer in the car to get anywhere than on PT. I don't require anyone to drive me about. My husband drives and has the car but he hardly uses it now. I do the shopping around the corner from me as I have a big supermarket there (and it would be pointless taking the car there anyway)
If we go on a family day out we all go together. If, however we moved out to the countryside I would find it alot more difficult not driving.
It's fine if you can afford two cars and everything that goes with it but many people can't.

Kendodd · 03/06/2011 18:35

"And I'm very rarely driven around anywhere - I get myself to places I want to go very well by public transport."

Who's driving that then?

knottyhair · 03/06/2011 18:40

Oh Christ on a stick MrsBuble, it was a joke. Don't come on this board with dogmatic opinions and not expect to get a bit of a ribbing. And Kendodd, obviously Mintymoo is talking about getting lifts from other people in their cars. Of course public transport is driven by other people. Unless of course we're talking about a personal jet pack.

pigletmania · 03/06/2011 18:52

kendod this thread was started by a car driver who was insensitive and compared the situation to being in Saudi Arabia fgs!

MintyMoo · 03/06/2011 18:55

"And I'm very rarely driven around anywhere - I get myself to places I want to go very well by public transport."

Who's driving that then?

A train driver.

I'm assuming most of the drivers on here are car drivers, not train drivers?

pigletmania · 03/06/2011 18:58

Car driving should be a choice, not forced up the person. Good if people want to drive a car than go for it, if they don't they don't. There are so many very bad drivers on the road who really should'nt be, its good that people are taking the initiative to withdraw from driving if they feel that they cannot do it. A car is a killing machine and if somebody for any reason be it psychologically or physically does not feel that they will be able to drive safely than they should not.

MintyMoo · 03/06/2011 19:02

Thanks Piglet - I fall in to that category. I don't think it's worth the risk of me killing someone in an accident just to satisfy someone who thinks I'm oppressed for not driving.

Being forced to drive when I'm not capable of doing it safely and do not desire to drive - now that would be oppressive.

Me making the independent choice not to drive is not oppression. In Saudi women aren't allowed to drive, in the UK we are - that doesn't mean we all have to.

LineRunner · 03/06/2011 19:03

No.

Riveninside · 03/06/2011 19:07

Can you imagine what the roads would look like if every cyclist, walker and public transport user chose to drove? Total gridlock.

pigletmania · 03/06/2011 19:09

I do too with my dyspraxia minty, if a panicky situation arises I turn to jelly sometimes I just go off into a dream world and when driving there is so much to focus on, its not about purely driving a car, its about constantly looking and perciving potential dangers, hazards and thinking about what other drivers are doing. I have information processing problems and for me that would really be a problem. I think that some people on here forget that cars are lethal, and expect that everyone can drive.

pigletmania · 03/06/2011 19:11

Thank god everyone is not able to drive, think of the pollution, gridlock, traffic ahhhhhh

MintyMoo · 03/06/2011 19:18

Piglet - same. For me the risk that I could harm another person is too much to make me drive. When my friend was killed in a car crash at 17 it was horrific, the people who crashed in to him lived, they were a couple in their 50s but as they had a much bigger car they survived - he was in a little tinny old banger and poor lad he didn't stand a chance :( he died almost instantly, luckily he had a friend in another car (not in the crash) with him.

Now imagine how much worse those people would have felt (they both said they wished they could have gone instead of him) if they'd known they had a medical condition which made them find driving difficult. How much worse his family and friends would feel knowing he'd still be alive if they'd kept themselves off the road.

In my last driving lesson I almost had a head on collision with a Lorry, I was looking at it but I couldn't see it - my mind does odd things to me. But those who also have dyspraxia will understand what it's like to have your own world and be unable to leave it to rejoin the real world. If my driving instructor hadn't braked in time we could all have died. It's not worth it.

A car in the wrong hands is lethal. And my hands are definitely the wrong hands.

mathanxiety · 03/06/2011 19:19

It wouldn't bother me too much because more cars on the road = bad news for the environment until they're all solar powered (says the driver of a SUV...).

But it does bother me that fewer women than men have a licence (and presumably less than that percentage drive though same goes for men). This indicates to me that women and machines are a bit like chalk and cheese in the UK, that there is an acquired gender based distaste for large machines among British women. It also indicates that more women than men would find buying a car and paying the running costs too expensive. That is a problem.

My mother learned to drive when she was 69, a few years after my dad died. Up to then she had been driven out for groceries and into town, down the country to see relatives, to the doctor and dentist, etc. She depended on friends for lifts for a while, until she was involved in a crash that was partly due to the carelessness of the friend who was driving her. My sister and I badgered her for years to learn and she finally took lessons and passed her test after three tries. I will never forget her astonishment over the phone when she told me she had got to Dunnes under her own steam at the crack of dawn, bought her shopping with almost the whole place to herself, and got home in under an hour, where before she had paid higher prices at the local place and could only buy as much as she could carry home.

Lesson is -- learn to drive and at least get a licence. It will not be as easy for you to learn when you're older, and getting around will not be the breeze for you that it may be now. Another statistic women should bear in mind is that we outlive men.

mathanxiety · 03/06/2011 19:21

I would like to add that my mother's reasons for not driving were very similar to the reasons women in SA do not drive.

revolutionscoop · 03/06/2011 19:24

It isn't a question of every female cyclist, pedestrian etc choosing to drive instead, though, is it? As I understand it, it's a question of them being able to drive if necessary. I mean, I am able to drive, but rarely do. The vast majority of the time (whenever possible) I walk, cycle or use public transport instead. My ability to drive occasionally when necessary (taking children to doctor's appointments for example) does not IMO contribute to traffic/gridlock/pollution.

Riveninside · 03/06/2011 19:36

But what is the point of spending thousands learning to drive at 20. Then never driving until one day you are 75 and wznt to hire a car. Youd be a bloody menace. I cant think of any time i have needed to drive and i have a child who has medical crisis all the time. Not once has driving been essential.

Avoiding getting wet or cold is not a reason.

Riveninside · 03/06/2011 19:37

Of course occasional driving contributes to traffic and pollution.

knottyhair · 03/06/2011 19:41

It would be very dangerous in my opinion to pass your test, get your licence and then not drive for years, or even just very occasionally! It's not something you can just pick up where you left off! That's part of the problem with my MIL, she rarely drives but as a result she's bloody awful! If you don't drive, and you're not a PITA to other people pestering them for lifts etc., what the hell is the problem? It's nobody else's business.

bruffin · 03/06/2011 19:46

Thats why I don't drive knottyhair. I passed my test in 1993 and haven't driven hardly driven at all and not at all in the last 15 years. If I ever decided to get behind the wheel again I will have lessons.

mathanxiety · 03/06/2011 19:47

Avoiding getting wet or cold is a good reason when you're 69 and not as nimble or healthy as you once were and a heavy cold can keep you off your feet for two weeks.

It would have been very useful for my mother to have been licenced to drive, whether she ever did or not; dad sometimes drove himself to hospital with kidney stones, and a neighbour had to wait for an ambulance when her little DS swallowed laundry detergent mistaking it for sugar instead of being able to bang on our door and get mum to drive. Mum could also have driven one of my sisters home from the dentist one really cold day when DSis had had her jaw broken as part of the procedure. Instead they waited for the bus for about an hour.

You could get your licence at 20 and drive occasionally to keep your hand in. My mother is a bit of a menace behind the wheel (lead foot), and DD1 who learned at 16 in the US is forbidden from using my car (she is welcome to ruin her own vehicle whenever she buys one). Does it really cost thousands to learn? I think my mother spent no more than a few hundred.

NestaFiesta · 03/06/2011 19:58

45 lessons @ £40 each= £1800
(govt recommended number of lessons)
Theory test £31
practical test £62-75

If you need more than 45 lessons it's usually £40 (£20 and hour) as most instructors recommend at least a 2hr lesson.

I have had around 70 lessons, one theory test and two driving tests. I am now poor and still can't drive!