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I over reacted didn't I?

59 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 31/05/2011 22:22

DS1 has had 2 days filming at this school after being picked for a part in a channel 4 production.

So I gave him my trust and allowed him to go.

Last night the filming ended at 6.15pm he got home around 6.40.

Tonight he was meant to go from school straight to my mums which is about the same distance from school to home.

At 6.45 I called the school to see if filmong had finished to be told it was over running by an hr 45minutes. So I thought it would be safer for me to meet him, left home and got to the school at 7.30.

Waited a while and no sign of DS1, tried his phone and no answer. So called mum who said she had just spoken to him and had told him to come back to me. Waited a few minutes and still no sign of him so phoned him again and he told me that he couldn't be bothered to come back.

I told him he had no choice but to come back.
I walked up the road he told me he was at the other end of to me, and there was no sign so I called him again and he told me he was at the pther end now. I walked back down it and was halfway when I called him and said you have not passed me so where are you. He said again he was at the other end of the road to me and was outside his school.

I crossed over the road and as I did looked to my left and there running out of a VERY dodgy estate was DS1. I am ashamed to admit I did yell at him to move his backside.

This estate is very bad, drug deals take place there, it is muggers paradise it is awful. I am furious as he had no need to be there.

I then took him to my mums myself as I was so angry with him and all the way he was telling me I was an embarrassment, had no right to go near his school, Should not have gone to his school, needed to let him live his life etc. This went on until we got to my mums and he then started with the attitude to her.

I have told him and my mum that I don't care who asks him over the next few days while he is with her, that he is not under any circumstances allowed to go out with the other children in the family unless an adult is with them as he has again proven he cannot be trusted to be where he is meant to be.

I must add this is not the first time he has done a disappearing act. But he has recently been chatting to a girl on FB who I have to say I disapprove of, when she is sending him messages that 12yr old girls should NOT be sending and I have told him he is to have nothing to do with her.

So AIBU to stop him going out without an adult and to also take his expensive phone away from him and give him a more basic one. Until he can prove he is trustworthy.

OP posts:
MrsDanverclone · 01/06/2011 09:49

Goblinchild I am so pleased she has finally found some friends her own age who accept her, she's been through Hell though to get to this stage.
I have to strongly resist hugging them and telling them how wonderful I think they are, whenever I meet them though Grin

TheLady we had to do the FB supervision bit as well in the beginning and encourage culling of those who aren't nice people. (lots of long discussions on what constitutes a nice person etc) and I can quite believe a 12 year old girl posting very sexual comments, those who posted in a similar vain also were culled. It is truly shocking what comments and photos some put on FB.

MrsDanverclone · 01/06/2011 09:51

Vein not vain!

TheLadyEvenstar · 01/06/2011 09:53

MrsDanver, I was totally shocked!

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MrsDanverclone · 01/06/2011 10:01

I know my spelling this morning is appalling Blush

I have an older Dd so was prepared, the things she used to tell me would make your hair turn grey. She once said she had heard some gossip, but really I didn't want to know, I said oh tell me anyway. It was something I really didn't want to know!
My older Dd had a long term boyfriend and pupils in school were constantly coming up to ask her and her boyfriend, if they had had sex yet, because it is so expected among teenage culture.

TheLadyEvenstar · 01/06/2011 10:02

Grin Not your spelling!

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KaraStarbuckThrace · 01/06/2011 10:03

LE - Sad for those comments, kids can be so cruel, but sorry this lends weight to my argument he should NOT be on face book. His dad should keep in touch in other ways, do you have a webcam, Skype is a great way to keep in touch and you can do chat messages as well as actual phone calls. I use it a lot as both my parents live a long way off.

TheLadyEvenstar · 01/06/2011 10:41

Kara, if only!! his father rarely talks to him on FB but it is the only way he has on talking to him sadly.

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amberleaf · 01/06/2011 10:47

So it was probably the over running in filming that caused the issue? not a deliberate act of defiance as such?

Can totally understand why you'd be frantic when you dont know where he is.

Kind of not the point but re The estate, i know it, i know people that lived/live there, i know it has a bad rep but real normal people live there they are not all criminals or two headed monsters. to be honest your sons lack of sense of danger would probably make him stand out less walking through there than someone who looked clearly nervous of the 'bad estate' they were walking through.

But as i said totally understand why you were so worried when you didnt know where he was-i would have felt the same.

TheLadyEvenstar · 01/06/2011 11:33

Amber, it was an act of defiance.

He was meant to come out of the front gate of school and go to the bus stop. He chose to go out the back gate and walk around on the estate.

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