Kitchen bin stand-off with DH...

[IgnoringTheChildren]

This evening while I was loading the dishwasher, putting shopping away, sticking a load in the washing machine etc my DH emptied the kitchen bin. I appreciate this as it was nearly full and needed doing. However he did this by removing the bin from the bracket in the cupboard (for the record I hate under-sink cupboard bins but the only way to avoid this would be to remove some kitchen cupboards/put a bin in the middle of the floor so we have to walk round it) and placed the bin in the middle of the floor. He then removed the bin bag and placed it in the bin. That?s it.

The bin is still on the kitchen floor. Without a bag in it. He?s walked through the kitchen a lot this evening as he?s been dividing his time between tinkering in the garage and dealing with DS1 (who wasn?t in the mood for sleeping). He?s now watching tv.

I should probably point out that this isn?t the first time he?s done this, in fact somehow it has become my job to retrieve the bin, put a bag in it and return it to the cupboard. So AIBU to leave it there and wait to see if he deals with it?

"If it really annoys you, then say something to him or take care of it yourself. If such a little thing is causing so much resentment, I can't help feel there must be more going on here."

There really isn't anything else going on and I'm honestly not seething with resentment! Maybe I should have put some s into my OP.

ZacharyQuack - Are you suggesting I plant a tree from scratch, ie a seed, or nip out to the local garden centre for one that's already had a bit of time to grow? I doubt it would work either way as I have the black fingers of death when it comes to plants.

Plus I really hope that the bin won't be there for that long! I'm thinking that at some point this evening, after the DC are in bed, DH will ask "is there a reason that the bin is in the middle of the kitchen?" to which I will probably respond "I don't know, is there?" or possibly "oh I'm growing a tree in it!"... (doubt the second answer will help get the message across though!)

'DH will ask "is there a reason that the bin is in the middle of the kitchen?" to which I will probably respond "I don't know, is there?" or possibly "oh I'm growing a tree in it!"... (doubt the second answer will help get the message across though!)'

That wouldn't work in my household for two reasons.

1. Aspie household, neither OH or DS would question my answer. They'd say 'OK' and leave it at that.
2. I'm a primary school teacher, so growing a tree in the kitchen bin would be one of the less weird things they've had to put up with.

I have an unspoken agreement with DP. He takes the full liner out, and, while he's carrying it to the outside bin, I put a new one in.

He finds it ridiculously difficult to get new bin linders open, no matter how many times I've shown him the old 'finger-lick-and-rub' routine.

ipswichwitch at your OH!

Being vague would NOT work with my DP - he would just assume that the bin was in the middle of the room for a reason, and I was probably doing something with it.

That is why I am pretty direct - if I said 'do you notice something about the bin?' he would be all but if I just said 'you didn't finish doing the bin, can you sort it out before you forget' then job done.

If my daughter half completed a job I would call her on it. Same as DP. Why spend your life being a low level skivvy?

I can understand the low level frustration
My DH used to leave the tub tap dripping every single time!
I asked, I reminded, I did it myself, I left sticky notes.
One day, I totally lost it
I told him he would be the first man in Canada having to explain that a dripping tap caused his divorce!
He never, ever, leftit dripping again
(And I appologized for acting like a tool making threats)

Goblinchild - I'm a secondary school science teacher but I never bring any of my growing experiments home, well maybe the ones where the seeds aren't supposed to grow because sometimes I fake my experiments to ensure they give the "correct" results - I'm so grateful for the green fingered technicians at my school!

I really do think that my DH will figure it out this evening and return the bin, with liner, to it's correct place (without me "nagging" him about it - although he's usually when he tells me I'm nagging). Although he might decide to pretend he hasn't noticed...

Don't put it away!

DH used to do this ALL THE BLOODY TIME. I put the liner in myself many, many times, reminded him gently many, many times.

About 6 weeks ago I went stratospheric at him because he took the bin out before he went to work (good) and left it with no liner in, leaving me with no useful bin, a 3 week old velcro baby and a toddler.
He has not made the same mistake again, and actually I think his ears are a little further back on his head than they used to be due to the blast of my wrath.

The low level things are what destroy a relationship, they are worth dealing with.

Day 2 of binwatch! I am literally on the edge of my seat :o

Goblin you are so right about making it a rule for the DCs too. My MIL has made herself into the clean-up-pick-up-fairy and I am left with the fall-out!

DS will not be going the same way...

Well the bin is back in the cupboard, complete with bag! DH got in from work, put DS1 to bed, went to the kitchen to make his dinner (put frozen pizza in the oven), noticed the bin (well it was a bit in the way of the oven) and sorted it! I am a little disappointed that he didn't ask about it as I'd decided to go with the growing a tree thing.

oh don't you love 'half-a-job-husbands'! My DH will empty a bin, and sort of put a new liner in. By sort of I mean he will put the liner in, but not so it wraps around the rim of the bin IYSWIM. So you will quite merrily flip the lid, drop your rubbish in, only to find it has fallen to the bottom with a bunched up liner. Every flippin time!!!

i am so glad you didn't crack and finish the job for him, and amazed he did it within a week ..... due to my experience with 'd'h it could have been sitting there until the plastic degraded ..... well done this thread made me a lot!!

Oh I LOVE this thread. It is exactly the same in our house, though I would say that any stand-offs have usually resulted in me getting stressed and DH failing to notice any problem. Previous stand-offs:

1. Not washing dirty clothes which had not been placed in the dirty bin (DH sometimes leaves them in the bedroom or next to the dirty bin)
2. Not picking up his shoes and bag left in the middle of the hallway
3. Not picking up the suitcases left at the bottom of the stairs following a holiday.
4. Not buying new toilet rolls

My current stand-off:

1. Not closing the cupboard doors (he opened them all when foraging in the kitchen earlier). This is making me twitch, whilst he's calmly playing computer games
2. Not unpacking the bin bags full of washed clothes currently in his wardrobe following a bed bugs incident three weeks ago (sobbing gently from the memory). This is making me tut every time I open the doors, whilst he is simply treating them as an interesting additional storage container.

Wow Tortu, you don't go for easy wins do you?! In our house it's actually usually me leaving my shoes and bags all over the place (although not so much at the moment as I'm on mat leave). We've also been there with the suitcases but not buying new toilet rolls is hardcore!!! We occasionally stop using the toilet roll holder when DH doesn't replace the roll though. Good luck with your current stand-offs although it does sound like you may have to cave before your DH notices.

A victory :) Well done for sticking to your guns! I am inspired now... From today, I am NOT going round the house collecting dh's mugs/cups/glasses and putting them in the dishwasher! Although I will probably be drinking tea out of the watering can by Sunday... :o

hooray!

'This is making me tut every time I open the doors, whilst he is simply treating them as an interesting additional storage container.'